The Cogitare Bookstore
by DXM Junkie
Summary: When Demyx falls in love he tends to go into creepy stalker mode. Good thing for him that Zexion is so oblivious. Zemyx. Side Akuroku. Complete.
1. The Awkward Situation

The Cogitare Bookstore

By DXM JUNKIE

A/N: Plot bunny. I should be working on other stories, but I couldn't help myself. I warn you, I think this one is a bit slow starting. But if you like, I'd adore a review!

The Cogitare Bookstore was an ancient establishment. The brick structure was commissioned in the early nineteenth century and originally intended for Free Mason meetings. It was sold to an old granny who owned too many dime novels and shortly after the depression she opened shop. Since then it changed hands numerous times while retaining much of its initial appearance.

The walls inside were painted an odd off-beige color that many customers commented on, being that it was particularly hideous. The building was two stories tall, not very spacious, yet unusually complicated to walk through. The different sections were weaving mazes of expansive shelves, the stairs to the upper level almost impassable with books piled against the wooden railing.

Zexion adored this store. And he was not the sort of man to be partial about many things.

When he arrived every morning for inventory it always smelled of black coffee and parchment. The best scent imaginable in his opinion. Zexion's favorite task was going through cardboard boxes of used books for resale. He felt they told countless histories- from the names written in sloppy pen work to the worn spines indicating they'd been treasured. The designs on the covers were sometimes indelibly intricate and had Zexion been an artist he would have found them more beautiful than paintings in a museum.

Zexion got his job at Cogitare back when he'd been a freshman in college. He was a stoic sort of guy and the interview was awkward. But he was hired because he understood the dewy decimal system from part timing at the library in high school. He'd worked at Cogitare diligently through four years of university, and when he graduated with a degree in science he decided that he preferred the low key atmosphere to a corporate job. So he rented a cheap flat down the street so he could walk to work while paying off loans for the schooling he would probably never utilize. That suited him just fine.

The boss and owner, Marluxia, was eccentric to say the least. Zexion found comfort in swapping banter with him. They'd been wary of each other, but managed to gain a tentative friendship after so many quiet afternoons of being bored out of their skulls.

Marluxia never pushed him to talk when he didn't want to. Zexion always appreciated this. He also turned a blind eye when the bibliophile took rare first edition tomes for his own collection, free of charge. Some would call that stealing. Marluxia called it the perks of employment.

The store was situated on the corner of a hectic metropolis bordering campus. Most people meandered past without ever noticing since the entrance was tucked away into a small niche askew an ally. Customers were often old timers who'd been shopping there for decades. Every so often college brats would come in to buy second-hand textbooks, and Zexion loathed dealing with the younger kids since they rearranged the merchandise or knocked things over.

Zexion lounged at the register, idly palming his face while absently wondering if he should catalogue the new set of books that'd arrived. But he felt lazy, and it was humid as hell.

The only downside to working in that shop was the lack of air conditioning. Marluxia constantly made excuses against installing anything since it was crowded enough in the back, but Zexion knew he was just being cheap. During the summer the store was muggy and even carefully placed fans provided little comfort. There was no dress code since Marly lived in sweatpants. So Zexion deftly learned which shirts and shorts would make the stifling heat more bearable.

The slate-haired man felt a bead of sweat roll down his neck when the front door bell suddenly chimed. He dropped his hand and stood straighter, trying to appear attentively professional.

A set of college students walked it, complaining loudly to one another as they ducked under the entrance sign. Zexion recognized one of the voices immediately. It was the student who occasionally visited to find nonfiction novels. He'd had coffee with that boy a couple times, and enjoyed their conversations since he was literate enough to know what he was talking about.

"Seriously, Roxas, it's like a billion fuckin' degrees in here!" A lanky redhead moaned unhappily.

"Suck it up, Ax." Roxas hissed, spinning around the aisles of books expertly towards Zexion.

A man with messed up Mohawk trailed, absently adding, "This place is kinda cool, all mellow-like."

"Cool?" The redhead retorted, "It's a lame bookstore."

Zexion frowned at the remark, blank expression set when the set of friends arrived at his counter. He greeted Roxas with normal courtesy and was promptly informed to ignore the redhead named Axel since he liked to bitch a lot.

Axel ruffled Roxas' spikes aggressively for the comment as the brunette reached across the register. The cheerful guy that shook his hand with an open smile plastered on his cheeks introduced himself as Demyx.

Zexion couldn't help but blithely stare up at his ostentatious hair. Demyx didn't seem to care and giggled when he caught the incredulous Zexion peering at him.

"You came in for that series you ordered online?" Zexion asked politely, forcing his face away from Demyx's gravity defying mop.

Roxas nodded, blue eyes twinkling.

"Sweet! They came in?"

Zexion turned and knelt under the register, "This morning. I took the liberty of picking out a different set than the one you ordered, since those were in horrid shape and these have a nicer feel to them. They were also cheaper. I hope you don't mind."

Roxas carelessly grinned, "Not at all. Let me see!"

Zexion quirked his lips when the blond thrummed with an ecstatic expression. Roxas cradled the books with open enthusiasm, rubbing his hand across the sleek covers with an affectionate glow.

Axel rolled his eyes, "Only you would wet your pants over a set of books, Rox."

Demyx punched a slim arm playfully, "Don't be a jerk. Roxas knows what he likes. Besides, you get creepy stoked about fireworks. Isn't that totally weird?"

Axel scoffed and crossed his arms before pulling them back down to fan himself balefully, "Damn, though, this store is humid as the mothafuckin' tropics."

Zexion silently rang up Roxas's purchase, covertly adding his own employee discount to the order; he too became unnaturally excited over a new set of books. He appreciated the shared interest.

"Have you seen these movies?" Roxas asked, pointing at the cover.

Zexion shook his head in negation, "I rarely see the movie adaption of any work I enjoy. They are often a disappointment."

Demyx picked the book on top up and examined it before reading aloud, "_Girl with the Dragon Tattoo_? Isn't that the flick with the emo gothic girl sleeping with the old dude? It's like Swedish or something? I think it's on Netflix."

Demyx's response was aimed at Zexion, which struck the slate-haired man as peculiar.

Roxas chuckled, "Wow, Dem, you're so informed. Actually this series is about a journalist and the badass hacker who helps him out. It's really well done but you wouldn't like it. It's too dark and depressing."

Roxas turned to face Zexion, "And I know what you mean about the adaption thing. I rented _The Golden Compass_ recently and that film was awful. You know, the one based on Phillip Pullman's _His Dark Materials_? They mercilessly slaughtered the plot, and rearranged the timeline."

"Well, only Lord of the Rings lived up to any proper standard." Zexion mentioned conversationally as he placed the tomes in a paper bag.

"That true. The Hobbit's coming out pretty soon, wanna go with me? Axel won't let me drag him and it's boring to go alone." Roxas snagged the book back from Demyx to drop alongside the others.

"Sure, that's fine. Just let me know." Zexion paused after speaking, turning to Demyx.

Demyx was watching him with a distantly glazed expression, so he quirked an eyebrow towards him.

"Yes?"

The tan student blushed and bit his lip, shifting his weight to turn away while mumbling some apology. He looked oddly appealing with pink burning his cheeks. Zexion forced his face impassive despite the spike of curiosity.

Roxas frowned before sporting an exasperated look, "Really Dem? Must you?"

Demyx pouted after anxiously glancing back at Zexion, "What?"

"You're not going to start this again, are you?"

Demyx flushed brighter, clearly embarrassed, and silence reigned for a long moment.

Zexion blinked, confused, unsure what the blond meant. Then Axel coughed into his hand and grabbed Roxas by the arm.

"Can we leave now?" Axel pleaded.

Demyx nodded aggressively, clutching Roxas' free wrist and hauling him out of the shop. Zexion watched their backs as they swiftly departed. Demyx spun around right before closing the door, waving with the same cheerful grin.

Zexion tilted his head. What an odd fellow.

oOo

During the following month Demyx became a regular. Three times a week the man would stack up a bunch of music books and lounge on the couches by the register to flip through them. Zexion couldn't fathom why he would choose to spend his free time at a humidly cramped shop instead of enjoying the weather outside, but didn't comment on it. In fact they really hadn't spoken.

Demyx always returned the books to their precise spot, but he never bought anything. This didn't surprise Zexion, most customers rarely did.

But Demyx was an odd puzzle that Zexion amused himself by mulling over. The guy acted so contradictory. When they first met he'd chatted with Roxas and the redhead casually. Yet he never did so with Zexion, and the slate-haired man felt this was out-of-character for the student. Not that he had any basis for this, but Demyx seemed like the type to adore talking.

He'd always smile and wave and stare at Zexion, but he never opened his mouth.

And by stare, he meant _stare_. Demyx watched him a lot. Quite a bit more than Zexion thought was necessary. The set of aqua eyes frequently peeked above the rim of a giant book and he'd wordlessly observe Zexion work. It hadn't occurred to Zexion that this behavior might be considered creepy; instead he simply wondered why Demyx found him interesting to watch in the first place.

It was the end of July when they finally had their first proper conversation.

A noxious heat wave made the store so unbearable that Zexion began suffering from fatigue. His mind was hazy and stupid and his clothes clung to his sweaty skin. He wanted nothing more than to go home and soak himself in a freezing bath. But Marluxia was out of town and he needed to work all day.

Demyx wandered through the shelves with an iced coffee in hand. Zexion was splayed carelessly on a chair, head tilted back, craning to catch the breeze from a revolving fan. Demyx waved his greeting, but Zexion's eyes were clenched shut in a decidedly unhappy manner. Zexion's face was a shade paler than normal.

"Are you okay?" The words came out crystal clear and Zexion glanced up under thick eyelashes.

Demyx was crouched towards him, hands cradling knees with his face twisted in concern. Zexion sluggishly cleared his throat.

"I'm fine."

Demyx nodded and glanced around, "This heat wave is harsh. Don't you have somebody who can take over so you can get some air?"

Zexion dropped forward, heaving a sigh, "I wish."

Demyx frowned, "You look like you're about to pass out."

"Thanks," Zexion snorted wryly as he wiped his damp hair away from his forehead.

Aqua eyes widened, "Can I leave my bag here for one sec? I'll be right back."

Zexion waved his hand uselessly, indicating he held no objections. Demyx threw his backpack next to the register and was gone without another word. Zexion frowned, wondering why Demyx randomly decided to converse with him. Did he really look that dreadful? Wonderful. Now the man would think he was a slacker at work. He was currently about as useless as an employee could get, after all.

Demyx returned with both hands clutching beverages.

He smiled and offered Zexion one of the drinks, "Here, iced coffee."

"What? Oh, um- thank you. You didn't need to do that."

Demyx grinned, "It really looked like you could use something cold."

Zexion felt his eyes flutter shut as he sipped through the straw, bliss making his shoulder sag. The cogs in his brain started turning again from the refreshing caffeine.

"I seriously needed this, actually. Thank you again."

The student chuckled and glanced around the store needlessly, eyes trained away from Zexion, "Slow day?"

"No more than usual."

"I see…" Demyx bit his lip, twiddling his fingers together.

"So you are fond of music?" Zexion hedged, feeling obligated to make small talk.

Demyx spun back towards him, startled, "What?"

"Whenever you come here you always read various books on music."

Demyx nodded slowly, "Yes, I love music very much."

"Oh."

Awkward silence, Zexion thought to himself. Seriously awkward silence.

Zexion cleared his throat again, "What are you going to school for?"

"Um, classical jazz. Probably sounds boring, but I dig the coursework and the professors are really chill! One of them can be a total buzzkill; guess there'll always be dudes like that." Demyx rambled.

Zexion leaned forward on his chair enjoying the distraction.

"That's how I met Rox too. Same seminar. He's kinda hard to make nice with at first cause he doesn't really like talking much but I eventually cracked his shell. It helped that he was already dating Ax, 'cause I grew up with him since we were diaper-totin' babies."

Zexion openly stared at Demyx, making the man flush and squeak, "What?"

"Roxas is dating that redhead?" Zexion queried softly.

"Oh, yeah, they aren't really obvious about it I guess. I could tell right away but most people can't. Roxy hates PDA and I think his twin is the only one in his family who knows."

So the blond boy was gay, then. Zexion shrugged to himself, "Oh."

"Are you okay with that?" Demyx whispered, sounding oddly anxious.

"Pardon?"

"With you know, homosexuals and stuff?"

Zexion rolled his eyes, "It's none of my business what people do inside their own homes."

Demyx hummed, "Yeah, I figured you'd say something like that."

Zexion frowned, not appreciating the sentiment.

"I mean," Demyx quickly added, "That you don't seem like the type to be bigoted about trivial stuff like sexual preferences or race or religion."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, I guess 'cause you work at a book store. Most people who like reading a lot aren't usually close minded."

Zexion smirked, "Hitler read voraciously."

Demyx didn't respond. Zexion grabbed his drink again and took a long sip. Then he glanced at Demyx out of the corner of his eye. He felt inexplicably implored to ask Demyx the question.

"So why now?" He asked flatly.

"Huh?"

"Why talk to me now? You've been coming here quite frequently, but if I'm not mistaken this is the first time you've spoken with me."

Zexion wasn't expecting the boy to leap to his feet dramatically and scoop up his backpack.

"Um- no reason! _Really._ Don't overwork yourself! I'll see you around!" Demyx cried without turning back, fleeing the store after almost tripping over a stack of books.

Zexion stared at the front door, utterly baffled. Had he said something to offend the man? He didn't think so. He couldn't understand that reaction. Zexion glanced down at the iced coffee in his hand, not knowing why a cold beverage could make his cheeks tingle or his stomach clench. Such a strange feeling.

Still, Zexion figured, Demyx was an odd person. That must be the cause.

oOo

Demyx didn't return to the shop for nearly two weeks. Zexion found that this fact put him in a foul mood whenever he thought about it. He shouldn't feel bereft of human interaction; he'd been a loner all his life. He didn't keep close friends, preferring instead to be alone with his literature. But without Demyx's presence there was a stab of unease eating away at his normally calm logic.

Zexion was never keen on being confused, but that man was seriously… hard to understand.

Why did he feel lonely? He found the whole ordeal incredibly frustrating.

Marluxia returned from his trip and quickly picked up on Zexion's dour disposition. The pink haired man wasn't sure what caused it, but it amused him by how uncertain Zexion appeared. He was definitely not acting like himself. Marluxia tried to force it out of him, but it was obvious the slate-haired employee wasn't going to budge.

Roxas turned up one afternoon and went directly to Zexion, offering to buy him a cup of coffee because they needed to talk. Roxas was persistent, and Marluxia eventually forced Zexion out of the store just so he wouldn't have to listen to him refuse the invitation anymore.

It was gray and rainy outside, thankfully cooler than previous days. Zexion barely had time to pull his hood over his hair when Roxas began physically dragging him away. They traveled only a block down to a locally owned café. Roxas ordered the largest coffees available before veering towards a secluded booth in the back. Zexion noted how fidgety Roxas was acting. Something was wrong.

"Is something the matter?" Zexion ventured once they were seated.

"Actually, yes."

"So?"

"Um," Roxas faltered, "Well-"

"Is this about Demyx?"

Roxas scowled, dropping his head to the table and groaning into his arm, "Bingo."

Zexion blew at his coffee, cooling the liquid, "He hasn't stopped by in a while."

Roxas lifted his head up and demanded, "Did you say something to him? Something weird?"

Zexion shook his head, "No, we spoke for a short while before he randomly stormed out of the shop."

"Yeah, I figured as much."

"I'm not following you."

Roxas twined his fingers in front of him and gave Zexion a steady look, their eyes locked, "Okay, so here's the deal. Demyx is gonna kill me for saying this…"

Zexion leaned forward attentively.

"So, pretty much…" Roxas bit his tongue and forced the words out.

"Demyx is fawning over you like a lost puppy and it's pathetic to watch. When he finds someone who he considers to be 'his type' he goes all total stalker mode and will try to spend time with them without being obvious. Which he incapable of. So, the other week he got all like melancholy and emo and shit. And he's still moping around like the worlds ended. Dramatic twit."

Zexion was floored. The words weren't processing.

"E..e… excuse me?" He eventually stammered with eyebrows high on his forehead.

"He's done this before."

"That…" Zexion was trying to wrap his mind around it, "…"

"Yeah, I know. The last two people he got all weepy for turned him down flat. They said that gay people are disgusting. One of them beat the shit out of him so he told Axel how he was never going to confess to another person again. Something about how it makes them uncomfortable and he doesn't want people to hate him. I kept telling him to talk to you like normal, but I'm pretty sure he probably just sat in Cogitare and stared at you."

"_Are you okay with that?" _

"_Pardon?"_

"_With you know, homosexuals and stuff?"_

Zexion nodded, feeling dizzy, "Correct. However, what could he possibly like about me? We've barely spoken."

"That's probably my fault actually," Roxas responded sheepishly, "I've talked about you before. Just stuff like we have good conversations and that I think you're intelligent. How I like the vibe of that bookstore and how you know what the hell you're talking about; your opinions are formed through research instead of hearsay. But when Demyx met you he got all emotional after we left, said you were the most attractive guy he's ever seen and glibitty glob glob."

Zexion stared down at his lap. He began replaying their previous interaction, wanting to find some sense in it. Some sense meaning he was one hundred percent confused and had no idea what Roxas was talking about.

"Before he stormed out I asked him why he suddenly talked with me after being silent." He informed Roxas slowly.

"Yeah, he said that you looked like you were about to die from the heat so he bought you iced coffee."

"And…" Zexion paused, "He asked what I thought of homosexuality. I told him that it didn't bother me."

Roxas titled his head, "How did that even get brought up?"

Zexion blushed, "He, ah, told me about how he met you. And Axel."

Roxas promptly flushed, they peered across the table silently. Roxas leaned back, hands flopping in his hair.

"Yeah, I'm dating Ax. Weird, right?" Roxas' tone was resigned.

"That's not how I would phrase it."

"What do you mean?" Roxas was nervous.

"More like, when I met him you didn't seem... particularly happy to be around him. And when Demyx told me you were in a relationship, I thought I misheard him."

Roxas snorted, "We get that a lot actually."

Roxas took a big gulp of his coffee, ignoring the scalding hot burn it gave his throat, "Me and Ax… I don't know how to explain it. I hated him at first, I seriously found him so baffling and contradictory. We were forced to do a project together, and I was such an ass to him. But whenever I gave him shit he'd give it right back and I started to like hanging out with him."

Roxas smiled absently, "Then I pretty much tripped in love with him. With his personality, and how stubborn he is, and how loud and rude and abnormal he acts. And how kind and caring he can be when he thinks nobody is looking. How… awesome he is. It's unfathomable."

Roxas laughed shortly before stopping himself, "Oh, sorry, I'm sure you don't wanna hear about this stuff."

"That is not correct," Zexion said slowly, "Actually, I'd like to hear more."

Roxas sighed, "Like what?"

"I'm not sure." Zexion admitted.

Roxas smiled, "I'm sure that's not what you want to talk to me about."

Zexion knew this was true the moment Roxas said it.

"What…" Zexion twitched nervously, "What could someone such as Demyx possibly like about me? I mean, after all, we are total opposites. Even when he was silent I somehow knew that was out-of-character for him. That he normally wouldn't act that way."

"True that. He doesn't know when to shut the hell up."

"So…"

"Well, again, Demyx is totally going to fucking kill me for this. What he said was that he thought you were mature. And he thought it was admirable that you'd find a better book series for me 'cause it was cheaper and nicer. And that he could tell how much you adored Cogitare, but how you probably didn't have many friends because you were the type to prefer books to people."

Zexion gasped. How could he have possibly known all those things?

"And that when you stared at his hair with such an openly confused way he thought you were cute. His words, not mine." Roxas was quick to add.

"I see." Zexion shook his head, "And here he didn't strike me as the perceptive sort."

"Yeah well, cheesy as it sounds, don't judge a book by its cover."

They paused, sipping their drinks.

"So what do _you_ think about this, Zexion?"

"Think about Demyx?"

"Well, yeah, and the fact that he has a crush on you."

"I don't really know, honestly. The thought never occurred to me."

"Well, no offense or anything, but you're kinda oblivious. I mean, yeah you're book smart but I don't think you've ever chilled with enough people to be people smart."

Zexion sighed into his coffee, "So Demyx is upset?"

"Yeah, but it's his own damn fault. He could've gone about this whole thing in a million other better ways. But that's what happens when you like someone. You act like a dumbass."

"Applying this to personal experience, are we," Zexion mused.

"That's true. I just… hate seeing him like this. The poor guy, the last people he confessed to acted like arrogant fucktards. All high and mighty that they are hot enough for dudes to like them. But disgusted by the mere thought of a dude liking them." Roxas stated flatly.

Though there was no affection in his tone, Zexion understood that Roxas was a lot more concerned about Demyx than he was verbally admitting.

"What should I do?" Zexion softly asked.

"No idea. I mean, hell, it's up to you. Straight or gay, if you're cool with it be friends with him. He's a good guy, really. He needs some friends outside of that band."

"But he likes me." Zexion quipped.

"Yeah but you don't know that- right?" Roxas teased, "Cause we never had this conversation. Hey, tell you what, Axel is having a party this weekend. I figure that's not really your scene, but Demyx will be there and it'll be a chance to talk with him. If you want to."

Zexion considered it. He'd never been to a party in his entire life. He would look like a fool. But he also didn't appreciate the idea that Demyx was upset simply because he was too scared to talk to him. In a roundabout way, this might help. Zexion would become friends with Demyx, which he was certain would be an easy endeavor, and Demyx might forget his crush entirely and become happy again.

Zexion stood, downing the last gulp of his coffee, "I'll be there."

Roxas grinned, "Cool. And don't forget-"

"This conversation never happened." Zexion finished.

When Zexion returned to his bookstore he sat pensively behind the register. Peering at the crowded shelves around him brought him no comfort. Every time he paused he could only imagine Demyx. Demyx sitting on the couch pretending to read, Demyx staring at him, Demyx smiling or waving… Demyx bringing him coffee, Demyx running out.

Marluxia meandered over to him and placed one hand on his shoulder.

"Long day?" His boss asked him.

Zexion huffed noncommittally before responding, "Demyx is so confusing."

TBC.


	2. The Party Situation

The Cogitare Bookstore

By DXMJUNKIE

_A heartfelt confession (this is not part of the fanfic): As of nine am tomorrow morning, I will officially graduate university. _

_After four and half years I did everything a person is supposed to do in college. I became the president of our anime club, editor-in-chief for the schools newspaper, studied abroad in Japan, got a legit GPA (3.87), and had an awesome internship at a magazine. _

_I met amazing friends, got my heart broken by my first girlfriend, moved out into my own place, and partied like it was the end of the world. I attended the comedy shows and rock concerts and midnight breakfasts, I dressed up in silly outfits and took pictures. I learned from people who changed my fundamental opinion about religion, smoked far too many cigarettes, and I also finally realized how to feel comfortable in my own skin. _

_I wrote a shit ton of fanfiction, finished an entire dream diary, filled up five complete sketchbooks cover to cover. At the end of the day I will exit school with no debt, no regrets, and more memories than a person deserves. I am so thankful. I needed to write it down somewhere. So instead of freaking out about tomorrow morning and the next step of my life, I'm going to write this chapter. Hells _yes_. _

_Oh, and because I have stuff to do, this chapter will be shorter than the rest. _

Chapter Two: The Party Situation

Zexion never felt more nervous in his entire life, even back when he ripped open the letter to see if he was accepted into his university of choice for the first time. He bit his nails anxiously with eyes darting towards the clock behind the register. Tonight was the party. Roxas texted earlier to inform him that it started at eight but the bookstore didn't close till nine, so he'd be heading over once his shift was done.

Blindly heading to the self-help section of the store, his eyes skimmed the spines for any related subject that might assist him. He was awash in a sea of, '_I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing'_, not only the party but also dealing with Demyx. He noted several books that made him distinctly squeamish and spun back around to pace between the aisles. He couldn't think straight right now, and he couldn't sit still even if he tried. He was going to look like complete idiot. People were going to think he was a freshman because he'd never attended a gathering which involved drinking. But he had to do this, so Demyx wouldn't be distraught anymore.

'_Demyx_,' Zexion thought as he sighed. He'd pondered about this situation a great deal along with what Roxas confided in him. He replayed the conversation so many times over that he felt sick.

Someone liking him. He'd never dealt with that before. It scared him. It honestly scared him.

Would Demyx expect things of him? Be disappointed when they got to know each other better?

The clock chimed loudly, rudely pulling Zexion out of his reverie. He flung his bag around his shoulder and flipped off the lights before locking the front door behind him. The days were growing shorter and it was already dark out. The weather was pleasant and breezy enough to be refreshing. Zexion fished Axel's address from his pocket and scanned it underneath a street light. He could barely make out the intricate weave of Roxas' cursive because his hand trembled.

Nine blocks away. He could get there in ten minutes if he walked swiftly. He began striding down the road, trying to force his mind blank. It felt like only seconds later that he was outside Axel's apartment. The place looked run-down, a typical college home. He could hear the sounds of music and people inside through an open window, his stomach flopped and his palms felt sweaty.

Bringing his hand up and wondered if he should knock first. But he didn't need to because moments later the door swung open and nearly hit him in the face. Stumbling backwards he regained his balance. A girl with blonde hair blinked at him in surprise.

"Shit, sorry!" She said in exasperation with no apology in her tone, glancing behind her after a moment when a group cheered obnoxiously.

Turning back to him she scowled with her hands on her hips, "Can I help you?"

"Oh, um, Roxas invited me." Zexion whispered, unsure what to say.

"Have your ID?" She prompted, holding her hand out.

"Pardon?"

"ID, _duh_. This is a 21 plus party. No underagers." She spoke as if addressing a child.

Zexion swung his bag around and fumbled for his wallet but was halted by a loud voice.

"Larx, stop being such a bitch. She's lying, sorry 'bout that Zexion." Roxas stated from behind her, pushing her away and clutching at Zexion's arm to pull him inside. Zexion was forced along throngs of people, his whole body stiff.

It was loud. Far too loud.

The living room was cramped and sweaty with students, each holding red cups and sipping slowly. The house would have been tidy if it wasn't for all the empty beer bottles. Huge tapestries littered the walls; the couch was cracked leather with glass end-tables flanking either side. Books that Zexion recognized from his shop were stored on huge shelves. He wondered how much time Roxas spent inside Axel's place, since he also spotted several of the blond boys checkered print sweatshirts hung up by the door.

Roxas smiled briskly, nodded to himself, and started leading him past a maze of rooms down a set of stairs into a musky basement. Zexion coughed, the fog from a machine was so thick that his eyes and throat burned. The bass which ricocheted off the concrete walls thrummed down his body and he could smell the earthy scent of marijuana coming from an undisclosed location. He found the whole scene reckless and unapologetic. The crowd was huddled together so tightly they could barely stand in a corner without being bumped into by careless attendees.

"Glad you came!" Roxas shouted above the music.

Roxas cheeks were flushed and he was obviously inebriated. He wore a tight green shirt and black skinny jeans which flattered his slim body. His trademark cross necklace glittered when the multi-colored lights shot across the room from the ceiling. Zexion felt underdressed. Roxas appeared relieved that Zexion even showed up so the slate-haired man tried to smile. It ended up as a grimace.

"…" Zexion shifted his weight wordlessly.

"Here," Roxas brought a stamp out of his pocket, prying the cap off before dropping it on Zexion's hand. It was the shape of a smiley face with the words VIP underneath.

"This'll tell Ax you get free drinks all night. You don't have to drink, of course, that's up to you. And don't let anyone give you a hard time about it if you don't and they say something, just tell 'em to fuck off. Dem's over by the bar. Say hi and be nice!"

Zexion rolled his eyes, "Thanks."

Roxas sighed, pushing closer up to his ear, "Don't be so nervous. You'll be fine. Just act how you normally do, no expectations. Trust me on this! You're gonna make Dem's night either way."

The comforting statement did nothing for Zexion. In fact it made him more nervous. Eyes glancing over to the bar in the back, he nodded sharply down at Roxas before diving through the crowd. This party was a bit disgusting. Women dressed in far too little clothing were grinding provocatively against one another. Beer sloshed down his arm when someone walked passed, they offered no apology. Zexion clutched his bag tighter to his side as he spun around a couple swapping spit.

Spotting Demyx by the bar he pushed his way beside him, trying to appear casual. The Mohawk was bouncing in time to the music, his fingers tapping on the cheap wood that made the bar. Demyx didn't notice him for a long minute until Axel came up. The redhead was shirtless, his abs making Zexion feel self-conscious. Zexion squinted, was the man wearing makeup? Why, yes he was. Red eyeliner covered with sparkles. He wondered what Roxas thought about such ostentatious makeup.

"Oh, hey Zexion!" Axel greeted loudly, lips twisted into a knowing smirk. "Roxas said he invited you."

Zexion could feel Demyx's eyes on him. He held up his hand nonchalantly to show the stamp, "Good evening, Axel. Thanks for having me. Can I have a beer, please?"

Axel chuckled, "Please and thanks? Damn, you're so fuckin' polite."

Axel wandered back over to keg, leaving him alone with Demyx. Zexion turned and nodded towards the musician. Demyx appeared a little freaked out, his face was honest and open. Demyx looked appealing that night; he was dressed with hemp necklaces and a band shirt. He'd put several piercing in, which Zexion never noticed before, and washed out shorts plus flip-flops. Zexion felt his throat go dry. Demyx's cut-off sleeves revealed his toned tan arms.

"Good evening." He said with his voice louder than normal so he could be heard.

Demyx bit his lip before responding weakly, "Hey."

Zexion frowned. This couldn't get any more awkward.

The redhead deftly returned to drop the drink down, he didn't get a chance to thank him because Axel already turned to help the next person. Zexion took the cup, staring down at it. He'd never consumed alcohol before, but he'd heard somewhere that beer helped with shyness. So Zexion tipped it back and chugged half in several quick gulps.

Coughing harshly, he wiped his mouth with disgust, "This tastes foul."

Demyx couldn't help but bark a laugh behind his hand.

"You don't seem the type to drink." Demyx informed him, expression suddenly suspicious. "Or attend parties."

Zexion paused, "Roxas informed me that I need to try new things."

Demyx accepted this immediately, but still wouldn't meet his eyes, "I see."

Zexion peered around, "I dislike this basement. It's grandly dismal and dingy."

Demyx snorted, "Yeah, and there are too many people who dry-hump dance. They don't seem to realize how stupid they actually look."

"Would you like to venture upstairs? I don't know anyone else here," Zexion aptly mentioned.

Demyx nodded, "Totally. Wanna head to the backyard? Bon fire and stuff."

Zexion frowned out at the crowd. He couldn't find a path through. Demyx seemed to notice this and snagged his arm with a warm palm.

"Follow me!"

The musician twisted past people effortlessly, Zexion close behind him. They wound up the stairs and through the kitchen outside. It was blissfully quiet once the door closed behind him. Zexion let out a gasp of relief.

They plopped down on a bench on opposite sides together several feet away from a roaring fire. Couples were scattered around, holding hands and murmuring lowly to one another. Demyx watched a pair of girl's light cigarettes together. Zexion turned after a long moment.

"I haven't seen you in a while." He murmured.

Demyx stared down at his drink and squeaked, "Um, _yeah, _haha, about that. I got, um- busy with stuff."

The man sucked at lying. Utterly sucked at it. But Zexion ignored the obvious diversion and continued.

"That's unfortunate. I missed your presence at Cogitare."

Zexion blinked to himself, surprised by his own words. Demyx gaped but quickly clenched his mouth shut and they finally locked eyes.

Demyx's voice was hushed, "Oh?"

Zexion took another sip of the beer. It was warm going down and made him feel self assured, "Of course. You were a regular customer, after all. Not that I really understood your initiatives behind coming however I enjoyed your company."

Demyx was immediately suspicion again, "What do you mean by that?"

Zexion blinked and pointed out the obvious, "It's incredibly humid within my store. We don't have air conditioning."

Demyx started laughing, his body shaking from the gesture.

It was a musical sound and Zexion shoulders absently relaxed, "Hah! Oh, I get what you're saying. But I really like the atmosphere of the store, all mellow."

Zexion smiled back, "As do I. I derive great pleasure from working there."

Demyx plopped his face in his hand and turned to watch him with a lopsided smile, "You talk really funny, you know that?"

Zexion shook his head in negation, "What do you mean?"

"Well- it's like totally obvious that you read a lot. I don't understand some of the words you use. Seriously, you talk like a character from a book trying to sound smart and Shakespearian."

Zexion quirked an eyebrow and brushed some hair out of his face.

"Was that intended as an insult?"

Demyx grinned broadly, "No way, dude. It's not an insult 'cause I'm sure you talk like this all the time. Oh let me- you would say," he cleared his throat, "_Whatever do you mean? I converse as such normally_."

Zexion snorted, "Nice try."

Demyx was openly staring at him again, "So what made you really come here?"

Zexion frowned, taken aback by the perceptive remark.

"I already told you."

"You mean that load of shit about how Rox said you needed to get out more? C'mon, I'm not that dense." Demyx's tone was teasing and light. Almost hopeful.

"Well," Zexion hedged, "He may have mentioned that you were going to be here this evening. And I thought I might have offended you the other day, since you stopped coming to the store. If that is the case, I apologize."

Demyx was aghast, "You thought you _offended _me?"

"… I didn't?"

Demyx couldn't help himself. He burst out laughing again, peeling over and clutching his stomach as if it what he'd hear was the most ridiculous remark in the world.

"Wow, Rox said you might be oblivious, but dang!"

"…"

"That wasn't an insult either. It's kind of nice." Demyx added, leaning forward.

Zexion shifted his hands through his hair in dismay, "My being oblivious is nice? It's rather problematic. Marluxia tells me that I need to make more friends."

"Marluxia?"

"The owner of Cogitare."

"Oh, the pink dude?"

Zexion chuckled, "Yes, him."

"Do you have many friends?" He queried innocently.

"None." Zexion replied truthfully.

"None?" Demyx whispered in disbelief, "But what about, like, Roxas and stuff?"

"I suppose I could consider him a friend. I've always thought of him as more of an acquaintance."

"Don't tell Rox you said that, he'd be sad."

"Sad?"

"Well, if you're friends with someone and they tell you they don't think you are, wouldn't your feelings be hurt?" Demyx mentioned with a finger in the air.

Zexion tucked his chin down, pondering this, "You are correct."

Demyx grabbed his drink and brought it to his face.

"How 'bout me?" Demyx asked quietly with his mouth brushing the rim.

"Hmm?"

"Um, can I be you're… friend?" The question was hesitant, as if he was afraid to ask.

"Certainly. If you find it agreeable. I've already stated that I enjoy your company."

Demyx raised his hands in the air, "Sweet! Cool beans. That would be rad!"

"And you think I speak weird. You talk far more different than anyone I've ever met."

"Oh, the slang and stuff? Yeah, it's 'cause I hang with my band most of the time. We have our own lingo. Axel's always complaining that I swear too much, which is stupid because that guy has the biggest potty mouth on this side of mars. Roxas tells him that swearing is a sure-sign of a small vocabulary. He says if you cuss all the time you don't have any other words to express yourself with."

"You're band?" Roxas mentioned something about a band.

"Yeah, we're called the Organization XIII. I usually jam on my sitar and do some vocals. We play like rock and some jazz. Sometimes we perform at bars or cafés. It's a blast."

"I would like to see your performance." Zexion said honestly, wondering what Demyx's singing voice sounded like. He felt that it would be beautiful and elegant.

"For serious?" Demyx gasped, face awash in pure elation, "Like, really?"

"If you don't mind, of course." Zexion added, tilting his head to the side as an unspoken question.

"No way, that would be amazing! Like a million bazillion uber-types epic. Dude, thanks!"

"I'm not sure what you are thanking me for, however, you are welcome."

Demyx bounced up to his feet, "I need another drink. Are you finished with yours?"

Zexion peered down at his beverage. Half-full. He brought the drink up and forced the vile liquid down his throat until it was empty.

"Yes, I am." His own voice sounded funny to him. And his behavior struck him as odd.

But the musician looked so happy that Zexion couldn't help but feel cheerful himself. This was all so abnormal but undoubtedly appreciated. Demyx made him act so casually, so in-his-element that he didn't care he was heading back to the cramped sweaty party.

They meandered back down to the basement together, and after retrieving more beer they located a small corner to chat in.

They stayed like that for nearly four hours, chatting about so many topics that Zexion was in awe. Demyx was intelligent and interesting. He was cheerful and outgoing and incredibly easy to be friends with. Roxas gave them a few pointed smiles during the night, but as Zexion became tipsy he didn't notice. Demyx was the only person in his world that night, the only one who he felt like chatting with. And what was even more amazing is that it seemed Demyx returned this sentiment.

Zexion left before midnight after side-hugging Demyx goodbye and swapping numbers with the musician. He informed Demyx he expected to see him at the store sometime very soon, and Demyx wholeheartedly agreed. He waved at Roxas (who didn't even notice since he was glued on Axel) and exited without another word.

And for the first time in his life, Zexion whistled tunelessly on his walk home.

TBC.


	3. The Adaptable Situation

The Cogitare Bookstore

BY DXMJUNKIE

A/N: I think I write about drinking too much. Hmmmm.

Chapter Three: The Adaptable Situation

Watching Demyx sing for the first time was far more wonderful than Zexion could've anticipated. As previously stated, he was not the sort of person to be partial about many things.

However, he was consequentially in awe. Demyx's voice was alarmingly beautiful. The silent man found it equally breathtaking and heartwarming. This musician could effortlessly open his mouth and belt out soothingly clear tenor notes, face flushed with pleasure when he received a round of applause. He got quite sweaty after several songs but the music never wavered. Every so often he happened to glance across the crowd and their gaze would lock. Demyx began smiling directly at Zexion with this soft low-key expression of presumable gratitude.

Zexion, face palming his hand, was sandwiched between Roxas and Axel in the back of a small bar. The air was musky and thick while people crowded the stage to bob their heads or dance. Axel acted rambunctious, catcalling obnoxiously between songs until Roxas playfully punched the redhead over Zexion's shoulder. Axel appeared to know all the lyrics to the songs and would murmur them under his breath, but that wasn't unusual since he'd been best mates with the musician for years. Zexion keenly wanted to memorize them also.

Zexion refused to force his eyes away from the spectacle. He couldn't fathom how someone could sing while simultaneously cradling a large sitar and strumming intricate chords. It must have taken incredible amounts of dedication. His own lips pursed into a tight line as he stared at Demyx with open admiration. When the man performed he was so stunningly graceful and fluid.

Zexion was wrapped up in his own reverie. So Roxas watched Zexion watch Demyx.

The blond was inwardly relieved that Zexion acted just as he thought he might. The slate-haired man was incredibly awkward, yes, but Demyx possessed the unique ability to make anyone feel comfortable. And Zexion was no exception.

After the party at Ax's place the pair became immediately inseparable. Weeks passed and Roxas would stop by Cogitare to pick up more books only to run into his friend.

Demyx was inevitably found perching on the sofa humming, sifting through thick tomes as if he cared to read them. Zexion lounged and bantered with such a casual tone it unnerved Marluxia a little. Roxas would spot them walking down the street together, side by side, Demyx bouncing and ranting needlessly.

Zexion seemed to appreciate this attention and always appeared attentively enthralled by whatever Demyx had to say, no matter how trivial. Even when Roxas first became friends with the bookworm, he'd never speak with such careless nonchalance as he did around Dem. He might have been jealous if he didn't know better.

Roxas smirked under his hand, noting how Zexion's eyes were sharply taking in everything about Demyx. It was almost daresay _a cute_ expression on the normally sullen man.

That look was profoundly nostalgic because it was how Axel peered down at him during their initial tentative months of dating. Roxas leaned back and glanced over towards his boyfriend. Axel noticed immediately, as he always did with Roxas, and they grinned together conspiratorially. They nonverbally agreed that things were going well. Better than imagined.

The show lasted until just before midnight and though Zexion still wanted to listen to more of Demyx sing, he was also relieved when it ended. As the night grew later the more students crammed themselves inside the miniscule establishment. The convoluted noise from newcomers made it hard to hear any music.

Demyx took a low bow alongside his mates once they finished. The approval was easy to understand from the crowd. They whistled and clapped rapidly while shouting for an encore. After the band disappeared behind a curtain, Axel stood and motioned to the exit.

Roxas pulled Zexion by the arm once they got outside and he was ushered through an ally. They weaved around to the back of the building where the group of musicians loaded gear into a rusty van.

Demyx brightened when he spotted Zexion, scampering over cheerfully.

"So, what did you think?" Demyx demanded breathlessly, strap of his sitar case cradled across his back.

"You were… I mean, you're band was astonishing." Zexion twitched a smile as his cheeks flushed. Words were inadequate to describe how he felt right now, the ones he'd spoken sounded lame in his own ears.

Demyx giggled sheepishly, head titled while shuffling his overwhelming black case, "Aw, shucks!"

Roxas patted Demyx on his free shoulder before smirking, "That was an awesome gig, Dem. You sounded much more enthusiastic than you would at a normal event."

Axel grunted in amusement, "It's almost like tonight was the most important show of your life. Kinda odd…"

Demyx rolled his eyes, pushing at Axel's stomach as he poked his tongue out at Roxas, "Oh hush, you jerkwads."

"So are you departing for the evening?" Zexion asked after glancing at his watch, ignoring the previous comments as if he hadn't heard them.

"I dunno. What do you guys wanna do?" Demyx shifted his feet anxiously, "I have so much adrenalin pumpin' that right now there's no way in hell I could sleep even if I tried."

Axel crossed his arms idly, "It's up to you, dude. We could go back to your place for some drinks?"

"Sounds like a plan. Hey Xiggy!" Roxas called, wandering past.

"We'll need to get a ride from Xigbar," Axel explained down at him, "Demyx lives pretty close by but that gear is ridiculously heavy."

Zexion nodded towards Demyx, "Would you like me to carry your case? Surely you must be weary from exertion by this point."

Red eyebrows shot up on Axel's forehead as Demyx carelessly passed his sitar over to Zexion with a thankful chuckle. Axel frowned as they began chatting with each other. He forced his face blank to hide how incredulous he felt.

Demyx was overly-protective of his beloved '_Loki_' and treated it like a baby. The redhead remembered how he'd spent months in high school saving up for the sitar by painstakingly working as a waiter at this shit diner back home. Even Axel wasn't allowed to lay a single finger on that thing. Yet here Zexion cradled the instrument across his back, it was far too large for him. This was unheard of.

Roxas returned, "Ready to go?"

The group piled inside the van together, pausing to organize themselves. The vehicle was spacious however the bulky amps took up quite a bit of room and they needed to squeeze onto the seats.

Zexion was required to half sit on Demyx's lap and he was unnerved by how unsafe Xigbar drove. The van jolted and swerved. His heart spiked when Demyx pooled an arm around his thin waist, shirt scrunched between tight sweaty hands. They were turning down an intersection and he would have toppled over on Roxas if the musician hadn't done so.

But this fact did nothing to change how his skin tingled from the close proximity. Demyx possessed calloused and slender fingertips, a quality which Zexion found endearing. Dem let go as soon as they could remain upright and a weird part of him wished the occasion could've lasted longer. Just a few more moments of their bodies pressed tightly would have been far too agreeable.

They hopped out after arriving along an old apartment complex in the art district of their neighborhood. Axel lugged one amp from the trunk and Zexion assisted by grabbing the sitar again and hauling it up three flights of stairs. Demyx paused at his door to fish a set of keys from his back pocket. The hallways was sticky humid however Demyx's flat was blissfully air-conditioned.

Zexion sighed dreamily, oh air-conditioning. Sweet lovely air-conditioning. After jotting down a mental note that he was going to demand for Marluxia to get a cooling system for their shop (again), he glanced around Demyx's place for the first time.

The loft was surrounded with white bricks, large beams rising overhead. It was small yet tidy with band posters and colorful tapestries littering the walls. No television, only a Macbook Pro laptop resting on a worn coffee table. Several guitars rested on stands in one corner, while a full set of drums sat in the other. The place smelled like incense and candles. Large windows were hidden away under thick blinds.

Roxas flopped carelessly onto a sofa after pulling his shoes off.

"I fucking love your place, Dem!" Roxas cried with his voice muffled before whimpering, "_Dear god_, thank you air-conditioning was invented."

Axel chuckled, gingerly scooting Roxas's legs over a little to squeeze between him on the couch.

Demyx headed to the refrigerator past a set of kitchen counters, "You guys want a beer?"

"Yes please!" Axel grinned. Roxas grunted.

Demyx returned with four brown bottles in his grasp, forking them over and taking a seat next to Zexion on the opposite sofa. Zexion peered down at label, he'd never heard of this brand.

"Don't worry," Demyx informed him, "This isn't like that cheap crap beer you had at Axel's. It's the good stuff, I promise."

Zexion twisted off the cap wordlessly. He would've honestly consumed any beverage Demyx gave him. He took a long sip, noting that the alcohol tasted fruity and thick. Axel huffed at the comment before chugging his own beer, Roxas leaning down to snag Dem's laptop off the table.

"How long have you been performing?" Zexion asked after a pause, bottle resting between his thighs.

"Hmm, I dunno. What is it now?" Demyx wondered, a finger tapping his lips.

"Three years?" Axel echoed.

"No," Roxas quipped over the laptop screen, "It has to be at least four. Cause Larx said you were playing shows when I came to University."

Demyx nodded absently, "Four years then. Jeeze, time flies."

After a deck of cards were procured the group started playing simple games together. Demyx appeared to be having the time of his life. This lasted for nearly an hour. Yet they were soon yawning, each agreeing that they should leave for the night to pass out. Roxas and Axel headed over to the door to toe on their shoes.

Pausing for a moment, Dem tapped Zexion's shoulder, "So, do you work tomorrow?"

"Yes, from open until three in the afternoon." Zexion responded.

"Would you wanna chill or somethin'? Outside of Cogitare?"

Zexion smirked, "You still pronounce it wrong."

".." Dem pouted.

"Caw-jah-ta-rii." Zexion stated slowly with a teasing tone, "And, certainly we could 'chill' tomorrow."

Demyx huffed, "Now you're the one starting to sound like me."

"What would you like to do?"

"Dunno, maybe catch a flick?"

Zexion blinked, recalling something, "I remember hearing from Marluxia that the art museum off Broadway is holding an exhibit on historical instruments. Perhaps that would be more to your liking?"

Demyx nodded happily, waving as the three meandered out, "Text me tomorrow once your off Zex. See yah, Roxas, Ax!"

On the street Roxas glanced up at Zexion as they strode side-by-side, "So, Zexion, wanna hear a wee secret?"

Zexion frowned, distrusting Roxas' disposition, "Not particularly."

Axel watched his boyfriend out of the corner of his eye, wondering what he was going to say. The group stopped at a street corner where they would each head off in opposite directions. Their faces were shadowed by the lamp hanging above them.

Roxas rolled his eyes, "Well, I'm gonna tell you anyway. You know how earlier you were carrying Dem's instrument for him and stuff?"

Zexion nodded slowly, unsure where this was going.

"Well-" Axel interrupted after catching Roxas's train of thought, "That sitar is called Loki after the Nordic god of mischief. Dem practically killed himself to buy it back in the day. He fuckin' loves that thing, I'm not even joking."

Pausing to create the desired effect Axel added, "And to date you are the very first person I've ever seen Demyx allow to touch it, let alone carry it."

"…"

"What he means," Roxas continued fluidly, "Is that Demyx must trust you a lot. Just something for you to think about. G'night."

The set of lovers, holding hands, wandered off down the street leaving Zexion alone.

And think about it Zexion did. While the sun swiftly rose on the horizon he slowly headed home, deep in thought. Somehow it sounded like Roxas meant something else by what he'd said. Only Zexion couldn't puzzle out what that was. He'd stopped reading into the numerous cryptic messages that the blond gave him, however this time even Axel sounded startled by the fact that he'd carried the instrument.

After brushing his teeth and collapsing into bed, he rolled over onto his back and blankly stared at his grey tiled ceiling. Then he shook his head to clear his thoughts and closed his eyes to sleep. He needed to be at work in a few hours. Before he drifted off the smooth voice of Demyx rang in his ears, lulling him.

oOo

Marluxia let Zexion leave Cogitare early the next day.

Or rather, the owner shooed the set of friends away after they stood by the register talking for nearly half an hour. Zexion obviously wouldn't get anymore work done anyway.

Demyx showed up to the shop with a black coffee and a touch of sugar in tow, Zexion's favorite, somehow knowing that the employee would be tired from the previous late evening. The slate-haired man drank the scalding beverage with murmurs of appreciation, offhandedly mentioning how he'd bought the tickets for an exhibit online earlier that day and printed them off for their disposal.

The pink-haired man remained a bit freaked out by the abrupt change in character for Zexion. However he encouraged it, thinking it was good for him to finally be getting out there and meeting new people. He also knew that the alteration in disposition was credited entirely to this bouncy kid who now sat in their store like an unmovable decoration.

Marly snorted when the pair finally left, ducking under the front sign together and out into the fall weather.

Glancing through the inventory checklist he mulled over the current situation. He hadn't really spoken much with the man called Demyx; it seemed that the odd musician only held motivation to be around Zexion. What was so unordinary was the fact that Zexion allowed it; the same Zexion who refused to associate with so many others who tried to get close, one hundred percent oblivious to these advances.

Groups of girls gaggled at him during their years of working together and Zexion always treated them with calm unaffected politeness; uncaring how he never took the hint.

But some spark of liveliness was unleashed when Zexion spoke about or to Demyx. Marluxia found it endearing. His little stoic bookworm was obviously enamored by this random guy and as a faithful boss he'd poke fun at Zexy while pushing him out of the store.

The trees were now multiple colors of auburn and carmine, the sky a cloudless blue. Zexion was thankful he'd brought his heavier coat above his sweatshirt, though it was still warm enough he knew as soon as the sun resided it would be chill.

He found little interest in the museum itself that afternoon. Instead he listened to Demyx's commentary as the musician snapped multiple photos on his cell-phone. A couple guitars had sexy ladies painted across their exteriors, and he'd snort only to shoot those images via text to Axel. The exhibit was far larger than Zexion would have thought, and it took them nearly five hours to examine each room.

It was dark by the time they stepped outside. Zexion noticed Demyx shiver, so he mindlessly offered his own jacket. It was a small on the musician and flattered his hips.

Demyx smiled happily after dawning the coat while imploring, "Thanks! I should've thought to bring one myself. You won't get cold will you?"

"No, I shall be fine." Zexion drawled, "However, it's understandable that you should forget a jacket of your own. It's nighttime now. I hardly thought that a mere display of instruments would be as endless as it was."

Demyx glanced up at him fretfully, "You were bored?"

Zexion shook his head firmly in negation, "Far from it. It may not be my forte but you are very knowledgeable about this sort of thing. I learned many things today."

Demyx stretched with his arms above him with relief, "Yeah, well, practice makes perfect. Kinda like how smart you are about books. When you love something enough you want to know everything you can about it. I poured so much time into studying music that it's sorta became second nature."

The comment was careless but Zexion paused to consider it. There were few things he wanted to know more about than Demyx himself. As much as they were found beside each other, Demyx was always fascinating; constantly full to the brim with radical ideas and passionate morals.

"I can understand that sentiment." Zexion conceded.

"Hmm?"

"What I mean is…" Zexion bit his lip, chin ducked to his chest. "Never mind."

"What? Now you got me curious!"

"I inexplicably feel that if I say it, this will sound very odd."

"Odd? Haha, that's not really like you, Zex."

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Normally you are so arti- artiqu- um,"

"Articulate?" Zexion offered.

"Yeah, that thing. You don't really talk without thinking carefully first, so take your time to think it out."

Zexion sighed, motioning over to a bench alongside a children's playground. They sat companionably for a few minutes each wrapped up in their own thoughts. Zexion sincerely didn't know how to string these words together in a way that wouldn't sound either cliché or embarrassing. They were blissfully alone with only the lull of nighttime around them and he enjoyed it. Just them. Together.

Demyx was patiently waiting so he would respond simply because he felt implored to do so.

"I immensely enjoy getting to know you, Demyx." Was how he eventually chose to break the silence.

Demyx started, "What?"

"What I meant to say is, as we were talking about matters we wish to know more about, that I find you in the same category."

"I'm not really gettin' what you're saying."

Zexion smiled thoughtlessly, "In the simplest terms- I'm incredibly glad we became friends."

Demyx grinned happily in return with fingers twined in front of him, "I totally am too! You are so much fun to be around, for serious. I wish I'd have known you like forever ago and stuff."

"How so?" Zexion hedged.

"Well," Demyx huffed suddenly, leaning forward, "The last couple of people I've… you know, become friends with… it didn't end very well."

"_That poor guy,"_ Roxas had said at the café, _"The last people he confessed to acted like fucktards. All high and mighty that they are hot enough for dudes to like them. But disgusted by the mere thought of a dude liking them."_

Zexion didn't want to pry but before he could force the question away his mouth was already open, "What happened?"

Demyx glanced over at him, appearing shameful. Something about that despondent look in his eyes sat uneasily with Zexion. It looked so horrid on that set of features that ought to be smiling carelessly.

"We don't have to discuss this." Zexion urged.

Demyx balefully shook his head, "No it's ok. It's just a really fucked up story, is all. I don't want to make you… hate me or anything."

Zexion sat straighter, indigent from the comment, "That would be impossible, Demyx. Don't talk like a fool since we both know you aren't one."

"I knew you'd say that." Demyx glanced up at the sky above them, dotted with stars.

"Well, I guess… To start with this, I'm the sort of person… who… well,"

It was odd to see Demyx fumbling over his words.

"I'm gay." The man finally squeaked.

Zexion nodded, trying to appear as though he already didn't know that.

"Continue."

Demyx brought his arms around himself in a protective manner, "And most people that I, you know, _like_, they sorta end up thinking I'm this disgusting person; that I'm this appalling freak. Which is understandable, I suppose."

Zexion scoffed impatiently, "Understandable? Don't allow yourself to be swayed by bigoted opinions. Sexual preference has no say on a person whatsoever."

"Most straight people get really creeped out when a homo hits on them, you know?"

Zexion turned to face him, "As I was saying, pay no heed to such people. They don't even deserve your attention if they choose to act so deplorably."

"What if it was you?" Dem's face was flushed red.

"If it was I who you held an inclination for?"

"Yah."

"Well it would not offend me in the least. As a matter of fact, I might find it flattering."

"_Flattering_?" Demyx tone was shocked.

"After all, you are an incredibly talented individual. You put both passion and perception behind the music you create. You're intelligent and outspoken, cheerful and insightful." Zexion persisted, not really understanding what he was saying or how it might sound.

Demyx gulped, bringing his knees up to the bench and wrapping his arms around them, "You're weird."

Zexion smiled cautiously, "I'm well aware."

Their eyes locked after a long moment, Demyx lowering his legs and reaching down to tentatively grasp Zexion's hand between them. Zexion didn't know why, but he adored the skin contact so he didn't pull away. Normally he despised when people touched him needlessly.

"I think… I like you… _a lot_." Demyx whispered harshly. Their gaze was still set upon one another though he sounded almost ashamed of himself; as if Zexion might slap him across the face for letting those words loose.

Zexion spun his hand up to twine their fingers. His voice was choked when he responded, "I… find that agreeable."

"Really?" Disbelief.

"Do I strike you as the type of person who doesn't mean what I say?"

Demyx ever so slowly leaned across and gently rested against the material of Zexion's sweatshirt, fingers painfully tight against Zexion's. Tears were pouring down his cheeks, his whole body trembling.

Zexion reached over with his thumb to wipe at the salty tears. He wanted to take all the anguish this brilliant guy had ever experienced away, to make it all better. Zexion wanted this more than anything he'd ever desired.

He brought his fingers up to smooth Demyx's hair, the Mohawk going limp under his palm. The mop atop his head was far softer than he'd have imagined. Just like many other things about this man. His hand trailed down to cradle the back of Dem's neck, bumping their foreheads together.

Demyx ducked his face and clung to him, his throat too tight to say anything more.

TBC.


	4. The Dramatic Situation

The Cogitare Bookstore

BY DXMJUNKIE

**A/N:** Had my account suspended for a few days. Finally bitched enough and got back on. Bitching accomplishes things. So here is the chapter I'd been hoarding. It's friggin' hard to write dialogue for Demyx and Zexion because their personalities are incredibly different. If you like- please review. Reviews make me tingly in all my naughty places.

Chapter Four: The Dramatic Situation

If the unlikely pair was metaphorically glued together before their visit to the art museum, afterwards they upped any previous stakes. Each and every day found them together either with Demyx lounging at the book shop or Zexion trailing behind him while attending live shows. Marluxia took to calling Demyx '_Cogitare's live-in_ '. All while the musician's bandmates in return nicknamed Zexion '_that_ _stoic dude'_.

It seemed for Roxas that whenever he was with his older friend, Demyx had just finished or was on his way to hang out with the slate-haired man. Axel poked a bit of fun at them but Roxas was always prompt to shush him. Axel could be a bit abrasive (actually, insensitive might more accurate) and Roxas didn't want something bad to happen.

The couple was not aware, however, about the most recent development of Zexion informing Demyx that liking him romantically was agreeable. Roxas would've had a conniption, Axel would've gotten worse with the teasing, and for whatever reason Demyx seemed like it was crucial to keep that tidbit unspoken.

Demyx for his part was exceptionally relieved that Zexion didn't hate him even after he told him how he felt. The musician had been so used to instantaneous rejection that the very notion of Zexion accepting every last thing about him was frightening. Nobody listened to him like Zexion did despite the admission tugging at the back of their minds.

That night they remained companionably silent while Zexion walked him back home. But no further steps had been taken in regards to their fledgling relationship. If that's what it could be considered.

Demyx, being naïve, automatically assumed that Zexion finding it agreeable meant that he didn't return the feelings. Zexion, being oblivious, felt like Demyx should make the first move before he professed anything else and made the man uncomfortable. They were both comically idiotic about the whole situation, each too wrapped up in making the other happy to realize that fact.

So even if they hung around constantly, nothing on the surface appeared to change. If Roxas had known the truth he would have face-palmed only to yell at them in exasperation; which wouldn't help.

Roxas lounged next to Axel in the coffee shop they frequented watching Demyx out of the corner of his eye across the room. Demyx chatted carelessly with the female clerk as he was trying to decide which beverage to purchase. The hyper guy was nothing if not obsessed about caffeine.

"So what do you think is up with those two? Zexion and Demyx, I mean." Roxas murmured across the table to his boyfriend in a low voice.

Axel was deftly texting on his phone but glanced up, "No idea. Those two are morons."

"Yeah, but they are morons who so obviously like one another." Roxas quipped.

Axel sighed, flipping his phone shut to focus on the conversation, "Them being obvious and them liking each other are two very different things, Roxy."

Roxas ignored the nickname, "How so?"

"Well, think of it this way. How do you even know Zexion likes Demyx?"

"Because Zexion actually spends time with him. Which is practically unheard of."

"Okay- And how do we know Demyx likes Zexion?"

"Because he bitched about it for weeks."

"And…" Axel hedged.

"Just tell me." Roxas huffed.

Axel smiled softly which was something he only did for his boyfriend. The expression made his normally sharp features gentle. After glancing up to make sure Demyx couldn't hear them he finally replied.

"So here's what I'm thinking," Axel stated, "When Demyx likes someone he is incredibly expressive about it, we've seen that shit before. He's also dealt with more rejection than I can personally stomach because people are fuckin' asshats. But ever since they've became friends have you noticed Demyx ranting about loving Zexion anymore? Even once?"

"…No, actually." Roxas was surprised by the realization.

"And," Axel pressed, "What I've learned about Zexion from you is that he's never gonna be the instigator. It's just not in his character. He's gonna wait until he dies before makin' the first move, get me?"

"…Maybe." Roxas thought about it for a beat. "So you think Dem's cooled down since then just because he finally got the unattainable?"

"Kinda. Not cooled down, Dem is too damn passionate for that shit. More like he treasures just being friends with Zexion to ever want to put himself out there and potentially screw it up."

Axel frowned absently, "If Dem ever told him how he felt and Zexion accepted, there is no way Demyx would try to make the next move 'cause he's scared of what it might do. He understands what it's like to get his heart trampled on and he's smart enough to know how much more it will hurt if it's someone he genuinely likes. As opposed to the other dudes he randomly likes."

Roxas blinked rapidly, staring into vivid green eyes with unmasked surprise. Then his lips twitched into the smallest smile with the subsequent swell of affection. Reaching across the table he twined his hand around slender fingers, ignoring anybody who might see them.

"I truly love you, Axel. You know that right?" Roxas all but whispered.

Axel melted, squeezing the smaller hand tight, "Yes, I do. What brought this on?"

It was incredibly rare for Roxas to openly say corny things like that. Axel could count on one hand the number of times Roxas ever said the L-word, including this instance. Axel often desperately wanted to hear such sentiments from his lover especially during sex; but he knew better than to push the blond to say emotional crap because it made him uncomfortable.

So instead the redhead accepted the mere knowledge that Roxas was his and learned to make notice of all the other ways he showed his adoration instead. Still, whenever Axel heard those words it was so preciously perfect.

"Nothing brought it on." Roxas scowled playfully though his countenance was rambunctious, "It's just… you're so perceptive. I sometimes forget by how stupid you act."

"Axel? Perceptive?" Demyx interrupted their moment with a shit-eating grin, pointedly staring down at their joined hands. "Well, well, Roxy is getting awfully mushy."

Roxas scowled for real this time before tugging his hand away like it burned. Axel narrowed his eyes up at Demyx both to pout and warn him to shut the hell up. Demyx gulped with a nervous chuckle, inwardly knowing he shouldn't have interrupted the uncommon PDA.

"What is Ax being perceptive about?" He changed the subject.

Roxas smirked spitefully, "Just how stupid you are."

"What?" Demyx whined, dropping down onto the seat and crossing his legs after setting his drink on the table, "That's a horrible thing to say!"

Demyx heard his phone chime and he pulled it out of his pocket to examine the text.

"So, Ax, by the way," Demyx said as he punched the keys on his device, "I invited Zexy to your Halloween party. Hope you don't mind."

Axel stretched his arms up complacently, "I don't give a fuck, Dem. But it's still kinda weird."

"What's weird?" Roxas queried.

"You know. How it's been a couple-o-weeks since I've been subjected to Dem rant about Zexion or his monster crush." Axel informed them, choosing his words carefully.

Roxas turned to Dem, "He's right. What happened?"

The faintest blush tinted Dem's cheeks as he set his phone on the table, "Nothing really."

"It's equally surprising when you think about it-" Roxas put his finger to his lips in an all-knowing manner, "That Zexion, who loathes the party scene, would always go with you to bars and stuff."

Axel applauded his boyfriend inwardly for his evasiveness. Even if they couldn't point-blank state anything aloud it was still their duty to push Demyx in the right direction. After all they could tell the difference between a crush and love. Been there, done that.

"Pot calling the kettle black, Rox." Demyx smarmily retorted. "Zexy told me that you were the one who made him go to that one party."

Roxas blinked, suddenly guilty, "What did he say?"

Demyx gave him a suspicious frown, "Only that you told him he needed to try new things. Which I thought was instant bullshit because Zexy isn't one to be manipulated by your intentions. He's too clever for that."

"My intentions?" Roxas squeaked in the same tone. He was hiding something.

"C'mon, you guys think I didn't hear you before?" Demyx flatly stated. "About how I'm a moron and won't make the first move cause I'm too much of a coward? Which is mean in itself but I'll forgive you since I know why you think that. Honestly you two should know better though. Even if I'm a musician and just cause I play shows doesn't mean my hearing isn't sharp."

Axel cringed, trying to recall if they'd said anything offensive, "We, um, didn't really mean it like that…"

Roxas suddenly felt ten kinds of awkward.

Demyx noticed their squeamish hunch and was struck with unease by the guilty looks he was receiving, "I know you guys have good intentions but you really shouldn't meddle."

Roxas looked even guiltier, "It's not really… um… _meddling_…"

A thought struck Demyx making him even more unsettled. Puzzle pieces were shifting into place.

"What did you really say to Zexion to get him to come to that party. Roxas." It wasn't a question, more a demand.

Axel tried to save his boyfriend, "He was only trying to help."

"… I might have… m-maybe…" Roxas stuttered, an uncommon occurrence, "That you… um…"

"Spit it out."

Roxas straightened and feigned confidence, "I told Zexion you were gay and liked him before that party. And that you were torturing yourself over it, which you were. And I asked him if he said anything mean to you because you got all emo and stuff. It was only for your sake."

Demyx gasped and withdrew, hurt, "You _told_ him that? That was none of your fucking business to say!"

Demyx stood suddenly, hands banging on the table with an angry scowl, "That was a shitty thing to do Roxas. Way to betray my trust, dude."

Customers around them were murmuring in their direction.

Roxas leapt his feet and insisted, "It wasn't betraying your trust!"

Dem crossed his arms lividly before retorting, "And how do you reason that one out?"

"Because I already knew Zexion personally before you decided to fall in lust with him and chase him around like a stalker! I at least wanted to give him a heads up so he wouldn't be creeped out!" Roxas regretted the words as soon as he spoke them. The air between crackled with tension.

Demyx backed away. His chair loudly scratched the floor. He glanced down at Axel with the same disgusted expression, "And I suppose you knew about this too, did you."

Axel's fearful refusal to glance up was Dem's confirmation. Tears began to spill down his cheeks in dismay, his throat going tight. Demyx was out of the shop without another word, his untouched coffee steaming on the table.

"Shit." Roxas stated, dropping to his seat with a thud.

He felt very much like the world's biggest fucktard. Numerous customers within the store were still turned to watch the fight unfold. Their gazes dropped away when the blond spun around and shot daggers towards them. Roxas glaring was like razor blades cutting soft skin.

Axel brought his hands to his face and whispered despondently, "Oh, shit. Oh, _no_."

But the damage was already done.

Demyx stormed down the street with hands shoved in his pockets. He was beyond hurt and shattered by his friend's perception of him. Who did they think he was? His best friends really felt he was that pathetic? They'd been making fun this whole time!

And Zexion was in on it. Zexion already _knew_ he was gay even before Demyx told him. The slate-haired man was prepared for it and ready for Demyx to confess his feelings like an idiot. Irrationally he wondered how much Zexion gloated with Axel and Roxas afterwards. Demyx burned with rage as he dashed around into the ally with expert ease.

Demyx pushed the door to Cogitare open with a bang. Books cascaded to the floor when the wood hit shelves abruptly. Zexion and Marluxia simultaneously jolted at the sudden noise, each hunched over the front counter with an inventory clipboard perched between them.

"You knew!" Demyx screamed while pointing an accusing finger aloft, his voice breaking, "You're a fucking asshole, Zexion! You know that? A fucking stupid arrogant horrible excuse for a human being!"

Zexion was aghast and gracefully dashed around the counter, "Demyx, what's the matter?"

Demyx rushed forward to shove Zexion as hard as he could. So roughly that Zexion lost his footing and crashed to the floor by the register in surprise while Dem belted, "You fucking knew I liked you! Roxas told you! And that's the only reason- you-you- You even talked to me or acted nice! You were making fun-"

Demyx started sobbing uncontrollably, overwhelmed by the implications of his own declaration. While he was still sprawled on his back Zexion watched carefully as Demyx crumpled to his knees and curled his arms around himself in the fetal position. Zexion dipped up and began slowly crawling forward, hand motioning to rest on Demyx's trembling shoulders when the man slapped it away. Zexion didn't even notice his fingers harshly sting.

"D-d-don't touch me!" Demyx howled, another fierce set of sobs making it difficult for Zexion to inhale oxygen. He didn't like seeing the musician in pain, his stomach clenched by the destitute noise emitting from that beautiful mouth.

Zexion tried to absorb the situation, still confused, "Indeed, Roxas stated that. I thought you knew."

"If I fucking KNEW I wouldn't have needed to tell you, shithead!" Demyx shouted, doubling over in shame.

Zexion nodded uselessly, in awe from hearing Demyx curse so much, "Will you please come to the back with me? So we can talk?"

"Give me one good motherfucking reason why I should listen to anything you have to say?" Dem demanded harshly, voice muffled from the fabric of his shirt.

Zexion glanced over his shoulder. Marluxia had already edged out of the room so they could be alone. The store was empty of inhabitants.

"Because I was thankful Roxas told me. He was concerned for your wellbeing, as was I." Zexion stated as if it were the most obvious fact in the world.

Demyx quieted a little though his face remained red and blotched, "What are you on about?"

"Demyx, when Roxas informed me of your…. affections, it was after you already stopped coming to this store. I hadn't seen you in several weeks. It was rather frustrating for me since I sincerely thought I might have offended you in some manner."

Demyx opened his mouth to interrupt but Zexion cut him off.

"Roxas insisted how even if I knew the details I should attend that party at Axel's to at least talk with you once more; that we would make excellent friends. He said that you'd been hurt from far too many others by diving into things head-long as you are apt to do. But I also enjoy that about your character since you are passionate by nature. I wanted to learn more about you and of course apologize properly. It perhaps was not correct for Roxas to say those things without telling you, but his heart was in the right place."

"He said that I fell in lust with you and acted like a fucking stalker. He said that I was creepy. How is that having your heart in the right place?" Demyx responded bitterly.

Zexion took this chance to move a little closer again. He needed to make Demyx understand what he meant. The musician didn't move away this time. His expressive face was openly torn with confusion.

"He might have said that, yes, but you know how abrasive he can be with his words. He is just like Axel in that respect. However, we are aware of the truth of such situations, are we not?"

"…?"

"When you started coming here on a regular basis," Zexion recalled, "I remember wondering why you would stare at me so frequently. I was baffled that you found me fascinating in the first place. And I couldn't fathom why you wouldn't speak with me. I never found such behavior creepy or akin to a stalker. When we finally did converse I was rather… unwell from the heat. Yet you were kind enough to bring me iced coffee. I was struck by your thoughtfulness."

Demyx sniffed loudly, Zexion finally resting his hands on the shoulders in front of him. He peered down into Demyx's puffy eyes with utmost sincerity.

"When I heard you might… Well that is incorrect, I suppose. Roxas said I caused you pain because of your inability to express affection for me."

"Not in such eloquent words, I'm guessing."

"Yes," Zexion conceded, "There was quite a bit more of swearing on his end. And I was rather flabbergasted since we didn't know one another. I couldn't comprehend how you could even feel that way about someone such as myself."

Demyx flinched so Zexion added quickly, "I felt that the idea of me hurting you in any manner was dreadful. Even when I didn't know you as I do now. So I felt… not obligated, but implored to meet with you again and see if we could commence a mutual friendship."

"So you weren't making fun of me?" Demyx asked tightly.

Zexion brought his hand up to whap the side the Mohawk without any force, hair bouncing as he scowled impatiently, "Honestly Demyx. How could that ever have crossed your mind?"

Demyx hiccupped a little sheepishly, glancing around, "Um, oh. Yeah."

"Now stand upright and we'll travel to the back so I can retrieve you something to drink." Zexion snagged the material of Demyx's jacket, pulling him along.

Dem nodded and they went around the register and into the miniscule stock room of Cogitare Bookstore. Marluxia was smoking a cigarette by the back door, puffing smoke past the bricks outside. The pink-haired man was a little startled to see Zexion clutching Demyx's wrist tightly.

"Oh, you're done having a conniption?" Marluxia prompted.

"Marluxia, do shut up." Zexion spat, not liking his boss's tone.

Marluxia was taken aback but understood now was not the time. So he chucked his cigarette out the door and towards the front, "I'll watch the store then. Take your time."

After he disappeared and Zexion sat Demyx down in the lounge, the slate-haired man poured a large cup of coffee and set the steaming liquid in front of his friend.

"Sorry," Demyx muttered unhappily, "For making that dramatic scene in front of your boss."

"You have absolutely nothing to apologize for." Zexion insisted.

"But-"

"And people say _I'm_ oblivious." Zexion snorted.

Demyx took an obligatory sip of his drink, nodding his appreciation for the excellent brew.

"Demyx, there are several matters which you must understand." Zexion stated, elegantly perching himself on the chair close by. Zexion twined his fingers on the table between them.

"And those are?"

"…" Zexion pondered for a long moment, Demyx scared by what he might say.

"Point one. It is understandable that you are angry. Neither myself nor Marluxia are offended by your outburst I can assure you. Roxas told me your sexuality without your express permission and you have a right to be upset with both of us. It was none of my business to begin with. Point two. You must equally understand if Roxas had not done so we probably would have never spoken again."

Demyx frowned, "Huh?"

"If Roxas had not spilled your secret, as offensive as that sounds, I would have never attended Axel's party. And it's most probable you would have never returned either."

The musician blinked, stunned, "You're defending him?"

"Rather I'm stating the facts." Zexion intoned.

"Okay…" Demyx still didn't know where this was going.

"Point three. Due to me attending that obnoxious drinking engagement…." Zexion softened, "We _did _become friends. As a matter of fact you are now perhaps the only person who I've ever gotten so close with; certainly in my entire life. As you once said, I often prefer books to social interaction. So, point four. Despite the fact that we became friends with me already understanding you might hold certain expectations on my behavior… I never truly noticed."

Zexion sighed distantly, "And in that muggy basement I found you undeniably fascinating. I began to harbor more urges to be in your presence again. Then, I saw you sing. Your voice is… enviable and you care about the music you create. You work incredibly hard on that endeavor which I find admirable."

Demyx watched him with rapt surprise. Zexion was neither a liar nor one to edge around the truth. And the truth in that inimitable wording which Zexion could effortlessly ramble made Demyx feel wonderful. His heart was racing in his chest, the nonchalant tone they were spoken was so... Zexion appeared almost nostalgic.

But Demyx was still uneasy. He didn't want to say it but his mouth blurted for him, "And when I told you I like you?"

Zexion turned to him with pursed lips, face unreadable.

"When you informed me yourself, how you felt about me that is… I was…" Zexion felt his face heat up, the words caught in his throat while he bit his lip sharply, "I…"

"You?" Demyx implored with a desperately needy tone.

"I am going to assume you want the honest truth." Zexion mumbled deftly.

"_Yes_." Demyx urged, body leaning forward unconsciously.

"I feel undeniably bland, boring and unlikeable in comparison."

Demyx's mouth dropped, "What now?"

"Well, as it is, you are far more impressive than myself. You truly have distinct qualities which are very much out of my league. I figured that, well, um," Zexion was tripping over his words. This was a first.

"When Roxas stated that you like me… Initially I thought that as soon as you grew to know who I really am that feeling would inevitably subside. Which was why I was comfortable forming a friendship. You are- rather amazing. And I am…decidedly not." Zexion turned his face away to hide the inadequacy.

Demyx couldn't help it. Tears were distorting his eyes again. But they were no longer from anger, nor sadness.

"I am unable to understand what might implore you to continue harboring such irrational feelings. I am no one special. You are far more worthy to engage in a relationship with someone… experienced in such matters." The words were almost too endearing for Demyx to comprehend.

"Hey, Zexion?"

Zexion glanced over with a shy frown, "Yes?"

"You're a total idiot, yo."

Zexion flinched apprehensively. Then Demyx split the widest grin across his face and started laughing with wild abandon. The sound was blissfully happy without reservation. He pooled over with hands gripping his knees, chest quivering from the exertion.

"Haha! You're too rich!" Demyx managed through his bought of giggling. Zexion wondered if he should feel offended.

"No, but seriously," Demyx calmed, "You are like totally the best person I've ever met. You're smart, sharp as a whip, and you don't take crap from anyone. You…"

Demyx grew quiet, "Are perfect. So, so, so damn perfect. The reason… I began liking you wasn't a stupid one."

"You may act impulsively but not stupidly." Zexion added, still unbearably shy and unused to the feeling of his heart racing as swiftly as it was. Demyx really thought he was that amazing?

"Roxas talked about you a lot, you know? He told me all these things, and he isn't one to admire another dude like that. I wondered what you would be like so when he needed to pick up some books I dragged Axel with us. You were different than I imagined. Curt, polite, trying not to glare at Ax for acting like a dickhead."

"Which is incredibly hard to accomplish." Zexion muttered.

"Yes, it is. And when you said that you found me liking you agreeable… I got like uber horror flick scared." Demyx grabbed the coffee again, now cool, and chugged several gulps down before he continued.

"I sometimes feel like this… yucky guy. The people I liked before, I realized why it would never work. It wasn't them. It didn't have to do with how they were straight or bad people. It was how I acted." Demyx sighed, "I pushed my feelings on them, uncaring if it would make them uncomfortable. And I deserved being treated as I did."

"That is impossible!" Zexion huffed aggressively.

Demyx brought his hand up, "Let me finish. I… well, when I realized I liked you I knew I couldn't be like that. I knew you wouldn't fall for cutesy acts or anything and that you wouldn't appreciate it anyway."

Cutesy? Wasn't that how Demyx acted all the time regardless?

"When we spoke that humid day and you were dying or whatever I felt like if I talked to you it was only going to make me love you more."

Love? Zexion flushed again, twiddling with his fingers anxiously.

"That's why I didn't speak to you for the longest time. I was content chilling in the awesome bookstore that just screamed your personality and watching you… maybe a bit like a creeper. So after we talked I avoided you, I didn't come anywhere near this store. You were right about point two, FYI, I probably wouldn't have come back."

Demyx leaned in his chair closer to Zexion, "And when we became friends I was just so damn happy. You act a lot differently with me than Roxas, and I sorta felt like gloating about it. But I still didn't want you to ever know how I felt about you. I didn't want to ruin what we already had. And I'm okay with just being friends if that's what you want."

"So what made you tell me, then?"

"Because I trust you. I didn't want to lie, and if you remember I didn't really tell you outright. You asked. Or rather, you already knew anyway." Demyx admitted.

"I still much prefer to hear it from you." Zexion stood suddenly, pulling at Demyx's arm until he was also on his feet. Their faces were mere inches away, both finding the proximity far too pleasing.

"So, Demyx, point five." Zexion puffed his chest and pooled closer, his grip tight on Dem's shirt, "If you change your mind about your feelings at this juncture or choose another suitor, I will be incredibly offended."

Demyx relaxed and wrapped his arms around Zexion's trim waist, nose bumping against the slate hair, "Offended?"

"Certainly." Zexion confirmed. "Because you_ loving_ me in such a manner… is most agreeable."

Demyx tilted down pressing his lips against Zexion's upturned cheek. The smooth contact forced shivers down Zexion's side.

Zexion continued with a husky voice, "Tell me again, please."

"I'm pretty much in love and adore every single thing about you." Demyx responded promptly.

"And I…" Zexion responded.

Demyx cut him off by melding their mouths together in a chaste kiss. Zexion lifted his hands up to Demyx's smooth face and when the musician pulled away he quickly closed the distance between them again, forcing the musician to hunch with their chest bumping so their lips could collide.

Their tongues dashed out moments later, lapping affectionately. Zexion felt inexperienced with kissing however the pleased look in aqua eyes told him otherwise.

Demyx looked like he was going to cry once more, too many times in one day for Zexion.

"And you?" Demyx murmured, choked with a feeling of indescribable happiness. He'd just _frenched_ Zexion.

"And I would like to- well- request, that, um-"

Dem giggled, since Zexion was too adorable to fathom.

Zexion huffed, "Would you agree with, um, to be my…. boyfriend, then?"

"I would find that _most_ agreeable." Demyx purred, locking their lips once more.

TBC.


	5. The Head Over Heels Situation

The Cogitare Bookstore

By DXMJUNKIE

**A/N:** Sorry this one is so short. This story is one of my favorites to write right now so I had to post what I'd written. Review? Please? (Here is where the authoress is giving you the puppy-dog pout.)

Chapter Five: The Head Over Heels Situation

Marluxia was rarely shocked by many things.

He'd seen far too much during his college career of hanging out at bars to even second glance most events that others might find disturbing. From random sexual escapades in club bathrooms to that one time he'd found a dude fingering a girl in the upper floor of Cogitare and had to shoo them away to continue their activities back home. Good thing Zexion hadn't been the one to find them. Regardless, he'd seen enough to know he'd seen enough.

He often found amusement in the darkest sorts of humor. So during one afternoon when Demyx burst in their store to create the particular sort of drama he loved the most, he was more overjoyed than upset. The pink-haired boss adored seeing Zexion at such a loss for words or panicked and inwardly knew that whatever Demyx was ranting about Zexion most assuredly had nothing to do with. Especially because Zexion was so emotionally invested in his relationship with the musician.

Drama could bitch-slap Zexion right across the head and the man would just duck under and go about his business. One of the reasons he was friends with the slate-haired man, actually. He liked that quality in people.

Still, when he'd heard them urgently speaking followed by hushed voices Marly tragically wished he'd installed security cameras in the back so he could watch the events unfold with a bowl of popcorn. Maybe he should convince Zexion to purchase them himself in case this ever happened again.

But he allowed Zexion his privacy and left them alone to sort things out. He'd poke his fun some other time and force Zexion to wash the grim-covered windows to make it up.

After almost an hour of sheer boredom he'd traveled back to the storage room to grab something, thinking he'd given them quite enough alone time. As soon as the door was cracked open he went ridged and a spike of pure shock and awe found his feet glued to the cement floor. His jaw dropped.

His sight must be failing him, that's what he first stupidly thought. Because what he saw was the most unexpected _holy-fucking-shit-this-is-not-happening_ view.

Zexion's arms were wrapped around Dem with their mouths full of each other's tongues; bodies tight and heads tilting all over to adjust the contact. The pair was far too wrapped up swapping spit to notice him in the slightest, so Marluxia chanced to bring out his phone and shoot a quick photograph before slipping away.

And so he stood, amazed, glaring off into the distance of his normally empty store. Was this real life? Zexion making out with a dude? Atop that, a hyper musician sort of dude?

His employee had always struck him as an asexual sort and even if Marluxia knew somewhere in the back of his mind that Zexion might like Dem more than usual, still… Damn. This would be perfect fodder for blackmail. Zexion would hate that, which would be more than amusing. Marluxia barely had time to think about it though.

The door opened at the front of the store, bell chiming cheerfully when two customers came inside. Both guys appeared frantic and upset as they ducked under the sign. Marluxia forced a smile on his face and greeted them with normal politeness. He remembered that one of the kids was Zexion's coffee buddy and a regular.

Said blond boy rushed forward, "Is Demyx here?"

The redhead on his heels added needlessly, "We need to talk to him or Zexion if they're available."

Marluxia glanced over his shoulder, thankful he'd shut the door behind him. The store was surrounded by thick white bricks so noise didn't travel very far. Should he tell them? Why, yes he should. It was too funny to pass up.

"Well, Demyx is here but I must say he is rather… busy." Marluxia smirked.

Roxas huffed, "We really need to speak with him, it's urgent."

Marly leaned forward over the register, "I might add that he won't be able to chat with you at the moment."

"What do you mean?" Axel demanded, arms crossing over his chest.

Axel was worried that Demyx might still by crying. Or yelling. He wasn't sure which was worse since his friend was infrequently as livid as they'd seen him. But Marluxia was prompt to discard and double his discomfort.

"His mouth is currently occupied by my employee's mouth, as it is. Their tongues are exploring new worlds and I'm pretty sure their genitals are soon to follow."

Oh yes, Marluxia loved being blunt because it scarred people. The reactions he received were priceless. The set of customers gasped, jaws dropping simultaneously.

Blue eyes tinged with sincere disbelief, "Demyx and Zexion are _kissing_?"

"Dry humping against the table in the back might be a better way of wording it." Marly commented in a lazy tone. "Zexion's lucky I don't fire him for doing that at the store while he's supposed to be working. But it was just so hilarious to see that I might cut him some slack."

Roxas and Axel turned towards each other, their cheeks pink, "Oh, I see."

Axel bit his lip, "Will you, um, tell Dem when their… finished… to call me?"

"And you are?"

"My name is Axel. He'll know me." Axel coughed behind his hand.

Marluxia nodded slowly, "Certainly."

Roxas glanced at him suspiciously, "How do we know you're telling the truth and not feeding us a load of shit? Zexion and Demyx making out is an unlikely excuse."

Marluxia sneered with white teeth showing. He tugged out his phone before tossing it to the boy who managed to catch it despite his surprise. Axel ducked over Roxas's shoulder to glance down towards the screen. They peered down at the image of their friends for a long moment before Roxas snapped the phone shut, silently passing it across the counter.

"Well- ah… See you around then." Roxas squeaked, spinning around with his hand tight on Axel's arm.

Marluxia sighed happily, oh how he loved his job.

oOo

Zexion and Demyx reappeared forty minutes after Roxas and Axel left. Their faces were flushed and they both appeared embarrassed and blissful. Zexion's hair was rumpled and Demyx was shifting around anxiously. Marluxia chilled on the couch with his Macbook across his lap, idly surfing the internet.

"Any customers?" Zexion inquired briskly, feigning nonchalance.

"Oh, yeah. A blond and a redhead." He responded without glancing up.

Demyx gulped, knowing just the two he was referring to, "What did they say?"

Marly finally looked up with a lopsided smirk and deftly closed his laptop with a click, "Oh, they wanted to talk with Demyx."

Zexion stiffened, the all-knowing look on his boss's face making him uneasy, "And what did you respond with?"

"Said you two were busy dry humping on the back table. Which, I also expect to be sanitized within the next hour if you don't mind." Marly drawled.

"What?" Demyx gasped, "You were spying on us?"

"Spying is such a horrid way of putting it. In fact, you were already in the back for an hour and I needed to grab my checklist. Can't fault me for not knowing what you two might be up to."

Zexion's face was so red he looked like he might explode, "…"

"Don't worry!" Marluxia laughed carelessly and winked, "After I told your friends that you were _quite busy _they rushed out of here in shock. No interruptions makes for better intimacy, right?"

Demyx dropped his head with shame after side-glancing Zexion and dourly stating, "I would prefer if you kept out of our business. I've had enough with people trying to meddle."

"Meddle? I did no such thing!" Marluxia pretended to be affronted, "So I have a question."

He leaned forward on the couch, pushing his laptop next to him, "Are you dating now?"

Zexion scowled yet couldn't help but boast, "If you need to know and despite the fact that this is none of your business, yes, Demyx is my boyfriend. So please keep your comments to yourself."

Demyx smiled happily by the words, momentarily distracted and swooning while snagging Zexion's arm. Zexion patted his hand affectionately.

Marly sighed, "Well, well. The day has come. Need a safe sex lecture? Well there are birds and there are bees. Sometimes the bees like the bees, or the birds like the birds…"

"I need no such thing!" Zexion shouted, knowing the comment was aimed at him.

"Then, you should also know-" Marluxia added. "Zexion, clean the fucking windows. As an apology for cutting work for almost two hours to make out."

"It wasn't two hours," Demyx hedged.

Marluxia glanced up at the clock, "Oh, I'm rounding up by ten minutes. Silly me."

Demyx scowled at Marly, "I'll help you clean them, Zexion."

"You don't need to do that." Zexion stated firmly.

"But-"

"Demyx, I shall walk you to the door." Zexion snagged Dem's hand and pulled him along. Both pointedly ignored Marluxia's whistle.

They stood under the bell eyeing one another with a pleased expression. Zexion thought Demyx looked lovely with his lips bruised as they were. Demyx appeared incredibly reluctant to leave.

"I believe you should go talk with Roxas now." Zexion whispered.

"I don't wanna!" Dem whined. "He's such a jerk."

Zexion brought his fingertips to brush Dem's teased lips and shush him, Dem returning the favor by caressing the slate hair out of his eyes, "Now, now. They must be very distraught. You should forgive him. We both know he held good intentions. You are worried also, Demyx. You despise conflict."

Dem leaned forward, looping his free index finger into the pocket of Zexion's pants, "You're probably right- you already know me too well. Just because you think I should, I suppose I will."

Then Demyx giggled, "Boyfriend."

Zexion couldn't help grinning foolishly, "Indeed I am your boyfriend. You should also text me when you are done."

"You better believe it." Demyx winked, leaning down to brush their mouths together one last time.

Zexion felt his heart skip, tongue poking out to brush the smooth lips of his new lover.

"Can I come over to your place later?" Demyx requested breathlessly.

"Certainly."

After Demyx left the store Zexion marched over to glare at his boss with arms crossed in agitation.

"I'm sure you are well aware that you weren't required to say those things."

"To which things are you referring?" Marluxia teased, palming his hand in an ignorant pretense.

Zexion plopped in the chair opposite of him, "That we were… dry humping. We weren't."

"Naw, just mouth fucking."

"Don't be so crude."

"Still…" Marluxia smiled genuinely, "Congratulations, Zexy. Never thought you were gay but who gives a crap about trivialities such as that."

Zexion sighed but managed a weak twitch of his lips, "Thank you. And I don't believe I am a homosexual, per say. It is simply Demyx that I adore."

"Adore? Pssh. You are like obsessed with that kid. Never understood it. But I still think you guys are cute."

"You do?"

"Haha! Don't be so bashful, Zex, no wonder that kid clung to you and became the Cogitare live-in. Anyway, you're not getting out of washing the windows."

"Or sanitizing the table." Zexion stated in a dry tone.

"That either."

Zexion stood to wander back but paused behind the register, "Marluxia?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you again for congratulating me on this. It means a great deal to have your support. Even if you don't like people to know this fact- you are a good friend." Zexion refused to look at him while muttering these words.

Marluxia grinned, "Just figuring that out now?"

oOo

Demyx sat sullenly on a park bench to absently toy with his cell-phone in one hand. He really didn't want to talk with Roxas or Axel right now, not after they lied to him or made fun of his feelings. But Zexion was right. He didn't like fighting with friends. They were too important to him to let stuff like this ruin everything. But he still wanted to get back at them for their careless behavior.

Zexion…

Demyx smiled to himself. His boyfriend. It was hard to fathom. That a brilliantly sexy man such as Zexion could possibly ask him so shyly to be his lover. As if he might refuse. After all the things that had happened in his life, this was definitely the most unexpected. If someone told him Zexion might like him the same he'd have thought they were lying. So he stubbornly punched the buttons on his device and dialed Axel's number. Axel picked up on the second ring.

"Dem? Where are you?" Axel asked hesitantly, more worried than Demyx ever heard him.

"What does it matter. You needed to talk with me?" Demyx responded coldly.

"Yes, I do. Fuck. Demyx, I'm so fucking sorry about before. It wasn't our place to play matchmaker. We just wanted you to be happy. I should've told you-"

Demyx cut him off, "Axel, shut up. I know. That you were trying to help, anyway. I'm still pissed that you two acted like dickheads. But…"

"But?"

"I guess without your push nothing would have happened. Zexion and I are, um, dating."

Silence. Then Roxas in the background, "HOLY SHIT."

Demyx chuckled balefully, expecting that reaction, "I'll need to talk with you both in person."

"So where are you again?" Axel asked. "We'll come and meet you."

"At the park down the street by your apartment." Demyx informed him.

"Be there in a few, wait for us." And he hung up, muttering to Roxas before the line clicked dead.

Axel and Roxas where literally there moments later, they'd run from Axel's place like hell was on their heels. Axel was dressed in his sweatpants though Roxas was wearing the same clothes as earlier.

Roxas looked like he was about to cry. He rushed forward and flung his arms around Demyx's shoulders in an uncharacteristic display of concern to yelp, "I'm so sorry!"

Demyx returned the hug with a sigh, pulling Roxas down to sit next to him, "It's okay, I guess."

Unshed tears shimmered in blue eyes, "I didn't mean what I said before, seriously. You're not a stalker, at all. And I should've never told Zexion about you either. It was stupid and thoughtless and I know I'm the world's biggest asshole for doing that. I just wanted to help you out. I know you can handle stuff on your own I just-"

"Needed to?" Demyx guessed wryly.

Roxas sniffled, still adamantly upset, "I'm so sorry, Dem."

"Okay, okay, I forgive you." Demyx intoned while Axel apologetically ruffled his Mohawk.

"In return, I want you guys to do two things for me." Demyx added as an afterthought, holding two fingers up in the air by his cheek like a peace sign.

"Anything." Roxas immediately responded, pulling away with puffy eyes.

"You sure?" Demyx hedged.

"Anything," Axel added.

"First thing. I want you two, in broad daylight with the whole world watching- to kiss in front of me." Demyx cheerfully informed them, knowing this was the worse punishment he could ask for his mates to do.

Silence.

"Why would you want that?" Axel was astonished by the request. It was so random.

"Well, since outside of handholding I've never once seen you two kiss in all the time you've been dating. And because it will make you uncomfortable just like how you made me feel earlier."

Roxas scowled but stood and motioned Axel closer with a hesitant gesture. The redhead scampered over, appearing equally uneasy. Blue and green eyes glanced down at their friend together with a set of pleading pouts.

"And if we do this, you'll forgive us?" Roxas huffed in agony.

"Exactly."

Roxas peered up at his boyfriend anxiously. Axel tilted his head to drop his lips against his lovers firmly. Roxas' eyes fluttered shut and he pulled the taller man closer, so aware that they had someone watching something that they only did in private. It was an odd sight, Demyx having known them as long as he did. The contact only lasted for a moment but Demyx chuckled capriciously.

Roxas bit his lip with cheeks burning but still held an arm around Axel's waist.

Axel turned and muttered, "And the second thing?"

"I want you both to promise to never try to fuck with my love life ever again."

"Agreed." The pair responded in unison in relief.

"We promise." Roxas added.

Demyx stood, leaning across the gap to hug his dearest friends. "Everything is forgiven."

Axel was tallest so he spooned his arms around his two favorite people with lanky limbs, holding them close. Roxas, who hated PDA with a burning passion, allowed the contact because it felt like they were all healing a wound burning with salt.

"We do love you, Dem, you know that right? We only wanted what was best for you." Axel implored.

Demyx nodded, "I know you do. Plus, it worked right?"

"You really are dating Zexion? For serious?" Roxas asked, pulling away from the group cuddle.

Demyx nodded again while sitting back upon the bench, "That I am. I was really mad earlier as you saw. Thought he might be in on your little scheme and making fun of me. So I freaked out on him and he calmed me down. And asked me out."

"Zexion was the one to ask you out?" Axel muttered, trying to imagine it.

"Yes, but in an incredibly eloquent way neither of you could ever imitate." Demyx giggled.

Roxas turned, grabbing Demyx's hand, "Marly told us you were, um, doing stuff in the back room. We didn't believe him at first of course but he showed us proof. Tell him to delete the photo he has of you two on his cell phone by the way, he'll hold that over Zexion's head as long as he can."

Demyx rolled his eyes, "Yeah, that guy. Zexion thinks he's a good person but he was a little rude and condescending."

"A little? And do you even know what the word condescending means, Dem?" Axel snorted.

"Shut your face, Ax. Marluxia _is_ a jerk though." Demyx conceded. "He made Zexion wash the windows for not working. Probably making fun of the poor guy as we speak."

Roxas frowned, "That's gonna take forever. Those windows are disgusting. Plus, the ones on the top floor are friggin' huge and Zexion's not tall enough."

"We should go help?" Axel quipped.

Demyx nodded, "Yeah. I think we should. It'll take a lot less time if we help."

"Plus, if we do that you get a little more time to flirt with your new lov-aaa~" Axel teased, clapping Demyx on the shoulder.

Demyx grinned, "That, too. Shamelessly flirting is always a perk."

TBC.


	6. The Cleaning Situation

The Cogitare Bookstore

By DXMJUNKIE

**A/N:** _I almost died this week. Like, seriously. _

_My right kidney had a six millimeter stone which caused a severe infection which caused pus to fill it to the brim which caused me to collapse with a delirious fever. After two days I finally dragged myself to the hospital in sheer agony and they shipped me on an ambulance to another larger hospital for emergency surgery. _

_If I had waited one more day I would've died at age twenty-two. The pus in my kidneys would've spilled over into my blood stream and my organs would've shut down one-by-one. Being in the hospital seriously makes a person ponder their own mortality. If the wording is funny in this chapter please notify me. I also apologize ahead of time; I'm on quite a bit of prescription Vicodin right now. This will also be pretty damn short. _

Chapter Six: The Cleaning Situation

"PDA much?" Roxas huffed, wiping sweat from his forehead in disgust.

They were two hours into cleaning the windows on the top floor of Cogitare. Zexion had barely completed three of the smallest panes of glass downstairs when assistance arrived. The group explained that they would help out as much as they could, Demyx sheepishly adding that it was his fault Zexion needed to clean in the first place. Zexion was relieved. Washing the windows was tedious since stacks of thick tomes needed to be moved before anyone could get close enough to scrub.

Axel and Roxas worked their butts off that evening while Zexion and Demyx sat back and watched from their comfortable perch on the couch in between rows of books. The new couple cooed complacently at each other in an overenthusiastic display of gushy romance. Zexion wasn't normally one to simper like an idiot but he knew it was driving Axel insane so he played along with Demyx.

And Roxas refused to yell at their antics since he could tell the bookworm was still miffed at him for making Demyx upset earlier. So the blond scrubbed silently with a scowl on his face while biting back the urge to bitch. Axel, as per usual, wasn't hesitant about vocalizing his annoyance.

"Seriously! You guys are fucking lazy. We don't even friggin' work here and we're doing more than you!" Axel whined from the ladder he was perched on, it swayed precariously until Roxas held the base tightly. Roxas peered up at Axel with a frown. He was worried about how far his boyfriend had to lean to reach the windows.

Zexion rolled his eyes, "Axel, didn't you insist that you would complete the largest windows since we are all, as you so kindly put it, '_short shits_'?"

Axel winced regretfully, "Yeah, yeah."

Dem grinned capriciously from his spot on the couch, hand curled around Zexion's arm, "It's nice to see you two working for once."

"As if you work ever, Dem. What do they call you, huh? A starving musician?" Axel snarled.

"Now, now children!" Marluxia called out, slowly padding around piled tomes as he made his way up the crowded stairs. "Behave yourselves. And do abstain from knocking over the merchandise, please."

Marluxia carted a six-pack of beer and as Axel descended the ladder he began handing out one bottle per person, "I think you've done enough anyway. A lot more then Zexion would've finished."

Zexion snorted, "Rather, a million times more than you could accomplish within a year."

Axel blinked down at Marluxia as he popped the cap off the bottle, "Who are you again? And why are you bringing us beer?"

Roxas dropped to the floor and sat with his legs crossed to swig his drink. His back was resting against a shelf when he responded, "That's Marluxia. He's the asshole who owns Cogitare and is in charge of this place. Zexion's boss."

Axel hummed and took a long sip, "Oh."

"Asshole? Well, that's harsh." Marly grinned with triumphant hubris, not at all offended.

"Oh, hey Marluxia?" Demyx piped up randomly, "Can I use your phone for a bit? I left mine at home."

Marluxia tilted his head but handed his sleek phone over without qualms while wondering aloud, "Why not use Zexion's?"

It was too late. After discretely sending the sneak photo to his own cell-phone which chirped inside his pocket, Demyx promptly deleted the copy on Marluxia's.

"Roxas warned me you took a picture earlier." Demyx gave a lopsided smile as he held his arm out to return the device, "He said you might use it against Zexion."

Marluxia snatched it away, openly fuming as he glared down at the tiny screen.

Zexion smirked as his employer sputtered, "You- _you_- how dare you!"

"How dare Demyx erase the picture you took while spying on us?" Zexion responded rhetorically with an arm around Dem's shoulder.

Roxas watched their antics while swiftly downing his entire beer before attempting to be polite, "Thanks, Marluxia. That was wonderful. I needed a cold drink."

Marluxia, still pouting, stared at his phone with a bereft expression and muttered, "But that was such great blackmail material…"

Axel plopped on the ground beside his boyfriend, "Yeah, well, you missed all the other pictures you could've taken while we cleaned and these two made kissy faces."

Zexion couldn't help but chuckle from the remark, "Consider it payback on my behalf. Since Demyx apparently already received his."

Axel and Roxas blushed, eyes skirting away without another word.

"Oh?" Marluxia animated, "I get it. You guys were the ones that made that kid freak out on Zexy earlier."

Demyx stood defensively, "That may be, but you can't give them crap either. Not allowed, dude."

Axel met Roxas' eyes with a look of gratitude and relief. Demyx was an amazing friend. And he obviously wasn't angry with them anymore.

Marly huffed to the musician, "And who are you to order me around?"

"Well," Zexion interjected, "I do recall several embarrassing stories I might slip to them involving laundry detergent and the mop downstairs…"

Marluxia cringed, "Never mind. Understood. Won't say a word."

"Must be a pretty gnarly story," Demyx mentioned.

"Oh, it is." Zexion confirmed conspiratorially.

Marluxia threw himself onto the couch, practically sitting on Zexion until the slate-haired man moved over on the cushion to give him room.

"Anyway, what are your names again?" Marluxia asked the boys on his hardwood floor.

Roxas opened his mouth to respond but Demyx swiftly added, "Oh, the blond is Roxas. The redhead is Axel. They're my best friends."

"You two have been dating for a while now, haven't you?" Marluxia guessed with a finger perched on his lip.

Roxas appeared spooked, "What?"

Axel ducked his head after nodding sharply. He would never lie about dating Roxas when he was so proud of that fact; especially when they were openly asked about it. Axel knew that Roxas wouldn't like the honesty and was wondering who told the pink-haired man about their relationship. The younger male didn't enjoy when people acted like they could see right through him.

Zexion sat straighter, "He doesn't look it, but Marly is rather perceptive when he chooses to be."

"So you didn't tell him?" Roxas frowned at the slate haired man.

Demyx shook his head, "Neither of us did."

Marluxia nodded his confirmation, "I could just tell, you know? Like how you both sat beside one another, but closer than one normally would around a mere friend."

Roxas turned to Axel, noting how they were centimeters away from one another. Axel's lean arm was nearly brushing his skin. Roxas scooted away slowly, trying to not make the action obvious.

"So, the reason I brought the beer," Marluxia added as he held his bottle aloft, "Congratulations to Zexion for finally dating someone!"

The group also held their drinks aloft and echoed that cheer.

Zexion elbowed Marly when he added, "And hopefully getting laid will mellow him out."

Demyx watched Marluxia thoughtfully for a long moment across his lovers lap, "Thanks, dude. I'm sure Zexion's, like, super grateful."

"What're you on about?" The pink-haired man retorted cautiously, still bitter about having his blackmail deleted.

"Well, Zexion admires you even though I don't really understand why. You're kind of a jerk. Anyway, I'm sure he might not say it but I think he really appreciates your support." Demyx informed him.

Zexion blinked at the Mohawk with open amazement and warmly added, "I'm startled you even noticed."

"Well, he did watch you for months like a super-stalker. Bound to learn a few things from that." Marluxia chortled.

Axel and Roxas followed that laughter a moment later.

Demyx whined obnoxiously, his voice high-pitched, "I'm _not_ a friggin' stalker!"

oOo

The next few weeks weren't really that different from the new couple's initial days of becoming friends. Now they could cuddle and would occasionally kiss; but they still acted the same. Demyx was well aware that this was Zexion's very first relationship and he didn't want to push him into doing something that would make him uncomfortable. Especially something sexual since that also made Demyx feel awkward.

Despite the fact that Demyx was horny as hell he decided that he wasn't going to come on too strong and accidentally chase Zexion away. They needed time to adjust, to get to know one another. The musician was happy with the mere idea of making out with his boyfriend. It became impossible for him to be bitter that they hadn't been more intimate. Zexion on the other hand was not adept at noticing lust, especially when it was his own unconscious desire.

He was grateful Demyx didn't make fun of him for being inexperienced at his age. Demyx would always giggle and reiterate how he was stoked Zexion was a virgin since that meant that Demyx was his first for everything. Zexion understood that Dem was trying to comfort him but it still made him feel slightly inferior.

The end of October came swiftly and during this time Zexion was absorbed into Demyx's group. He learned the names of the members of Dem's band and would often chat with them after shows. They were a lively bunch and eventually stopped called him '_that stoic dude'_. He learned many things about Demyx through his friends. It was often old memories that he would've never heard otherwise since Dem didn't really like to elaborate on embarrassing moments in his past. Zexion found the stories endearing and his affection for his lover never waned. In fact he became more enamored by this guy who somehow chose to date him.

Zexion was now casual and familiar with Axel. He became to appreciate his sharp wit and sarcastic commentary. The redhead had an eccentric personality and Zexion slowly began to understand why Roxas was so important to Axel and vice versa. When the pair spoke about their relationship Zexion felt inexplicably cheerful.

Roxas texted daily with random thoughts and he suddenly found he had a group of friends that he could rely on. Axel would bring him coffee sometimes, and Roxas would stop by the store to make fun of Marluxia. It was strange for the stoic man when he even volunteered to help Axel and Roxas decorate the redheads place for their annual Halloween party.

Apparently Axel's Halloween parties were legendary. From what Zexion gathered the event was anticipated by many students and talked about for weeks afterwards.

Axel went all out with the decorations and was giddy happy when he hauled them inside. He spent over three hundred dollars purchasing fake tombstones, cobwebs and other assorted scary stuff. When they finished decking the house out it looked radically different. It was like something straight out of a horror flick.

Roxas painstakingly painted bloody handprints on the windows and floors to make it seem like someone had just been murdered. Demyx helped by moving heavy furniture into Axel's room so they'd have open space. Axel focused on covering all the walls with black paper and changed every light bulb into black lights. Zexion made several trips buying the alcohol for the evening and set up the bar by himself (after skimming numerous books on bartending, of course).

It would be the first Halloween party Zexion ever attended in his whole life. When he was younger his parents frowned upon reckless antics such as dressing in costumes and pretending to be someone else. He was also not allowed to eat candy during those years and had thought Halloween was a stupid holiday to begin with. His opinion was deftly changing.

Demyx was equally, if not more excited about the party than Axel. The set of friends had been celebrating together since they were kids, causing mischief for their neighbors at an early age. When they got on a tangent about Halloween both would grin carelessly and high-five at random moments. Roxas was a little exasperated by the behavior but didn't want to rain on Axel's parade. Zexion silently followed that example. He wanted Demyx to enjoy himself and didn't really care about anything else.

Zexion invited Marluxia to the gathering but his boss wasn't interested. Marly stated that college parties were beneath him and he'd rather stay at home to scar the children or their parents if they stopped by to trick-or-treat.

Demyx had a blast when Zexion searched for his costume. Dem picked out various choices just to see what Zexion would look like wearing them. Zexion humored him until the outfits became scantily clad and finally opted to be a vampire. It was a cliché costume but the outfit was cheap and Demyx insisted it fit his personality. The musician was quick to add that Zexion could suck his blood any time he wanted.

Demyx decided to dress up as an elf from Lord of the Rings. He bought a long blond wig and tight white robes off the internet. Zexion thought he looked wonderful, but then again Zexion always thought that. Demyx was gracefully beautiful and Zexion adored how Dem dressed up as a character from his favorite fantasy series. He wondered if Roxas had anything to do with Dem's choice.

The evening of the party came faster than the group thought it would.

Demyx was over at Zexion's apartment, the pair taking turns to assemble their costumes. Zexion spray dyed his hair black for the occasion despite the fact his head smelled foul because of the chemicals. Demyx expertly painted his face and managed to get Zexion to wear eye shadow and lipstick. In turn, Zexion applied temporary glue to Dem's fake elf ears and brushed his wig out. Zexion wanted Dem's costume to be accurate so he purchased a bow and arrow set for his boyfriend to wear along with a silver clasp for his cloak.

Demyx giggled to himself, eyes glued to a mirror in front of him, "Wow, I don't even look like myself! I seriously look like I pranced out of Middle Earth."

Zexion turned from the counter, hand still clutching an eyeliner pencil as he wryly glanced over at his own reflection, "I cannot fathom how you persuaded me to wear make-up. I look like a drag queen. If Marluxia saw me like this he would never allow me to forget."

Demyx shook his head comically, the fake hair swishing around his shoulders, "That's what Halloween is about! Besides," Dem winked, "You look hot. Marly would be jealous."

Zexion was thankful the white face paint was thick. His cheeks burned when he plopped on the seat next to his lover while trying to appear casual, "You look much more attractive than I do."

Demyx leaned over to brush their lips together. The lipstick Zexion wore smeared across his mouth. Zexion brushed the back of his hand over Dem's pursed lips to remove the red stain. Zexion felt his heart thump at the glazed expression in Demyx's eyes. Zexion felt the irrational urge to hug him but refrained.

"Are you excited about tonight?" Dem asked softly, head tilting.

Zexion sighed, "Well, it shall be an interesting experience to say the least."

"I can't believe you've never celebrated Halloween before." Demyx moaned, "No candy? No dress-up magic? You're parents must be uber buzz-kills to not let you trick-or-treat. That's horrible. Halloween is, like, my favorite night of the year. I've always loved it, even when I was a kid."

Zexion snorted, the comment about his family incredibly accurate, "Yes, I suppose my parents were unable to comprehend the hype of Halloween. Also, I assure you that I am content for tonight, since you appear to be so enamored with this holiday. I enjoy watching your vibrant enthusiasm."

Demyx leaned over again, chin resting on Zexion's black-clad shoulder with a frown, "You know…"

"Yes?" Zexion locked their eyes together.

"If you, um, well… Don't like the party scene or whatever… you can always tell me if you don't want to go. You know? Feel free to say something. I don't want you to feel obligated since I'm going and all that jazz. If you wanted, we could always just stay in and chill instead. I'm fine either way. I feel like I always make you do stuff you don't really like." Demyx intoned with a melancholy voice.

"You fret about the most peculiar things, Demyx. I enjoy spending time with you," Zexion muttered shyly, his chin tucked against his chest, "So of course attending these events would appeal to me. It is an excuse to spend time with you."

Demyx twined their fingers together with a moan of relief, "Good. I'm glad."

Zexion sighed again as he balefully glared at his reflection, "I still look moronic."

Demyx squeezed their hands before mentioning, "You have such a bad image of how you think you look. It's not as if you'd wear this stuff on a normal night. You need to have more self confidence!"

"How so? I am confident." Zexion was confused.

"Zexion, dear, you look wonderful and you need to know that. I can't even begin to tell you how amazing you look. I know you think the make-up is lame but you're eyes are killer sexy." Demyx leaned forward to stare at said eyes, "If it wasn't for that shitty Twilight series and how stupid they made vampires look… Anyway, I'm going have to be on my toes tonight. I'll probably need this bow and arrow set later."

"Pardon?" Zexion frowned, unsure what he meant.

Demyx grinned, their noses brushing affectionately, "You look so damn sexy that I'm certain little ladies might hit on you and try to steal you away from me. They will try to seduce you."

"Yes, that certainly might happen." Zexion murmured sarcastically.

"I'm serious! If anyone tries to hit on you, I'm gonna be all up in their face like, ah, hells to the no chica, this guy is _mine_."

Zexion shook his head in amusement, "Demyx, that is far more likely to happen to you. I'm not sure if you noticed how appealing you are every night; particularly tonight in that set of garments. "

"Thanks for the compliment. Well, if a lady does come kidnap my elfin ways, will you save me?"

"Certainly. However…" Zexion paused, "If I am to be… propositioned tonight… By any such person…"

Demyx stiffed against his shoulder from the thought. He wasn't sure how he would react if he spotted someone hitting on his boyfriend.

Zexion turned with an earnest plea, "Please do your best to assist me if that happens. I shall do the same. I think I would find such comments inimitably uncomfortable. And be quite unhappy."

Demyx relaxed, "Uncomfortable how?"

"Well," Zexion responded with a grimace, "If any person was to express their inebriated lust for you or try to act on that, Demyx, I would probably be very nasty to them. I would, as Roxas might say, '_get all up in their grill_.'"

Demyx burst out laughing, "Please do! Be my knight in shining armor!"

"If I am a knight what does that make you?" Zexion asked rhetorically.

"You're princess," Demyx conceded, pecking Zexion on his white painted cheek once more before standing up. His cloak swished behind him.

"I prefer you as my prince." Zexion added, trailing behind Demyx out into the kitchen.

Demyx spun by the front door in an amused frenzy, "Do vampires drink elf blood?"

"Certainly," Zexion confirmed, moving his arms around Demyx's waist, "Vampires find such pure blood to be a delicacy."

Zexion felt a burst of confidence when he headily kissed his boyfriend, their tongues wetly caressing outside their mouths. Zexion pulled away, face tilted up to peer into the set of aqua eyes.

"Now it is simply a question of if elves would find vampires a suitable partner."

"Suitable? Pssh. For elves, vampires are like the ultimate fetish." Demyx teased.

Zexion smiled openly, "Well now that we have that understood…"

The slate-haired man held his arm out in a gentlemanly manner, "Your majesty my prince, shall we depart?"

Demyx nodded with ecstatic joy, twining their arms at the elbow, "Oh, dear god, yes! A vampire knight is totally the best escort, ever."

TBC.


	7. The Jealousy Situation

The Cogitare Bookstore

By DXMJUNKIE

A/N: Is it sad that whenever I write the word "nobody/nobodies" in my regular writing or with a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, my mind dashes away to the reason I started loving this fandom in the first place? I confess, I am but a helpless fangirl.

Chapter Seven: The Jealousy Situation

Demyx bounced jovially in time with the music. Axel's decorated living room was lively and rambunctious. Dem's long cloak twisted around him dramatically. The fabric was illuminated brightly from the black light overhead making him easy to locate. The smile split across his face never waned, his whole body elegantly spinning as he belted out indecipherable lyrics.

Zexion sat hunched forward on a cracked leather couch, sipping his soda while watching nameless students come and go. He recognized very few. Demyx seemed to know them all and would stop to chat with several or take photos with others.

They'd been at Axel's party for nearly an hour. Zexion wasn't bored despite the fact that this wasn't his ideal scene. Staring at Demyx never got old. He was enamored with observing his spunky lover. Around numerous people Demyx shined and was in his element. He acted totally comfortable around complete strangers. Zexion wondered how he might imitate such behavior.

The room was stifling hot from crowded bodies packed tight inside a miniscule space. The floor pounded under their feet from the bass in the basement, the windows rattling precariously. Zexion couldn't hear himself think properly. He idly wondered if he should grab himself an alcoholic beverage but was hesitant to head down to the basement. He could only imagine how humid it was in that dank concrete death trap.

Demyx plopped on the sofa beside him and leaned back with a careless grin, his chest heaving with exertion. Zexion darted his arm out suddenly to protect Dem's face from a set of costume wings. The dark-haired girl wearing the wings motioned her apology and stumbled precariously. Zexion noticed that her face was slick with sweat and how she was barely wearing any clothing.

Zexion tugged at his black shirt but that act brought no comfort. The material was sticky and stubbornly clung to him. Demyx got to his feet and pulled Zexion up.

Demyx snagged his wrist and weaved them around the hall past the kitchen and out to the backyard. Dem's drink sloshed precariously as he shut the door behind him but he didn't seem to care.

The air outside was blissfully cool, Zexion huffed a sigh of relief. He truly didn't like parties; especially events where people wore costumes.

"I'm so warm!" Demyx cried, pulling his cloak over his head and unbuttoning his long cotton shirt till he was shirtless. He dropped the clothes beside him and brought his arms overhead to stretch.

Zexion peered anxiously at Demyx's smooth taunt skin in the moonlight. He thought his boyfriend looked equally silly and wonderful with the elf ears sticking out. The bow and arrow set was still wrapped around his bare torso with a leather belt. If Zexion was the poetic type he could've written several sonnets about how physically attractive this musician was. Instead he thought about how staring at Demyx half-naked made his stomach clench nervously. It made him feel a little guilty.

"Take care not to get overheated. Your dancing is quite expressive and unreserved." Zexion observed.

Demyx shook his head, excess glitter cascading down onto the lawn, "Yeah, I know. I promise I won't faint or anything. That song is like, my ultimate favorite."

"You say that about hundreds of songs." Zexion pointed out warmly.

Demyx giggled, twirling fast circles like a witch around a fire, "Yes! But dancing is just so epic and totally freeing! And when you have good music- Ahhh life is just too awesome!"

Demyx nearly toppled over when he stopped randomly. He giggled again and dropped to the ground to catch his breath. Axel's backyard was empty since there was no camp fire. They could both hear noise from inside the house and were thankful for the relative silence.

Zexion gracefully sat beside Demyx on the grass, bringing his arms back to rest with his legs splayed in front of him. Demyx placed his palm atop Zexion's, squeezing affectionately. Zexion flipped his hand around and twined their fingers together. The easy physical interaction was comforting.

"Did you see any costumes you like?" Demyx asked conversationally.

"Hardly." Zexion muttered wryly with a grimace, "I sincerely don't understand why women view Halloween as the optimal night to prance about in their undergarments."

"Well," Demyx hummed, "It's probably because these parties are so jam-packed and humid; so the more skin the better. Plus, Halloween is the only night you can dress like a slut and get away with it. The chicks you see in nothing but their undies don't usually dress like that. Well, most of them anyway."

"Still, did you spot that one dark-haired lady wearing nothing but black lingerie with a set of handcuffs?"

"Yeah, that's Xion. She's a good girl, prime example of somebody who normally doesn't wear that stuff. She's usually a prude but tonight she's supposed to be a cop. Enforcer of 'da law! The paper badge she made fell off somewhere and Axel stole her gun for his cowboy getup."

Zexion rolled his eyes in amusement, "Now her costume is that of a sadist."

"A what now?" Demyx turned, blinking innocently.

Zexion's cheeks flushed, "A sadist- someone who prefers to inflict pain and humiliation on their sexual partner. As opposed to a masochist who enjoys pain inflicted on themselves."

Demyx gasped in astonishment, "People really do that stuff outside of porno? Are you talking about, like, whips and chains and wax? I didn't know people did that in real life when they're not getting paid."

Zexion snorted, "Wax? And I assume there are those who engage in that activity. I would have thought you might know more about these things. Being as experienced as you are."

"You make me sound like a man-whore." Demyx frowned petulantly.

"Indeed, Demyx." Zexion stated, "Because I most certainly would use that precise wording let alone date such a person. I was simply referring to the fact that I am not experienced in any manner to such eccentricities."

Demyx chuckled in relief, leaning sideways to rest on Zexion's arm, "Yeah, I know what you meant. I just don't want you to think that I'm a slut, I guess."

"You can be as promiscuous as you want, provided I am your only partner." Zexion added. After he spoke he was amazed he even uttered those words aloud.

Zexion shifted his head around to press his lips against his lovers in a chaste peck. The bookworm still wasn't used to initiating this type of contact but he could tell how much Demyx appreciated it. Demyx parted his lips and their tongues brushed together slowly, the musician tasted like cheap beer and sweat. Zexion could care less. He brought his free hand up to brush through Demyx's gelled hair. They kissed gently, the action a mutual give and take of tongue and lips.

Demyx pulled back after a moment, his mouth slightly bruised. He suddenly blushed and glanced away, the action catching Zexion off-guard. Zexion turned a little more, snuggling fitting Demyx in the crook of his arm. The slate-haired man was trying not to glance down at Demyx's revealed skin.

"Hey, Zexion?" Demyx piped up after a beat of silence.

"Yes?"

"Well… I know we really haven't talked about it… and I know this is your first relationship and stuff and the last thing I want to do is rush you to do anything you don't want to do… But I was just wondering, if, um, maybe you'd like to um… eventually…"

"You're fretting about something inconsequential again, aren't you?" Zexion teased.

Demyx pursed his lips, "Kinda. Maybe."

"So?" Zexion hedged.

"Well… if you want to, you know, whenever that may be and when you think the time might be right… um… jeeze this is seriously awkward." Demyx groaned, falling backwards out of Zexion's arms to sprawl on the grass in exasperation. He felt like such a pansy.

Zexion plucked a leaf out of his hair, expression thoughtful, "Demyx?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you speaking of sexual intimacy?" Zexion wondered, trying to make the words sound nonchalant.

Demyx pushed himself upright and tried to giggle though it came out chocked, "I'll never know how you say that stuff with a straight face."

Zexion twitched a smile, "I may speak with a straight face; however I think the activity we are referring to is anything but _straight_."

Demyx's jaw dropped, his eyes wide with shock, "Did you just speak innuendo to me?"

Zexion flushed again in embarrassment, momentarily speechless. Demyx reached his arms over to clasp Zexion's thin arm with both hands. His cheek rested atop a sharp clavicle, breath fanning bare skin. Zexion spooned closer.

Demyx smiled thoughtlessly, "Zexion, I am so thankful you're here. I'm so happy you let me be your boyfriend. My life is so much better now that you're in it."

Zexion relaxed, pecking Demyx's forehead, "Let me? You make it sound as if those feelings are not mutual."

Demyx glanced up, grinning sheepishly, "I guess this whole thing is still hard to wrap my head around. You know?"

"I think I may understand." Zexion confirmed, "Rather…"

"Hmm?"

"I sincerely hope that you won't lump me in with those deplorable miscreants who you confessed your feelings for previously."

Demyx cocked his head, "What d'ya mean?"

"I will never treat you as they did, Demyx. And just so we are clear… Your urges, as it were… are also mutual. So don't be afraid or worried or what have you about wishing to take the next step in our relationship. From what Marluxia says such activities are a natural transition with dating."

Demyx snorted, "And since when do you listen to Marluxia?"

"Touché."

"Okay, that's good I guess. I've been a little worried," Demyx admitted with a whisper.

"Why would you be worried? You mentioned how you felt I might be scared away."

Demyx nodded, "Well, yeah, there's that. But I guess I think about it this way- It's been what? Three months since we finally talked in this very yard at that party? And barely a month ago since we started dating? It feels like I've known you so much longer."

Zexion sighed distantly, "I suppose it does seem like a short span of time when you put it that way. Yet I also feel as if I've known you forever."

"That's why it's weird for me."

"Weird?" Zexion stiffed, unsure what he meant.

Demyx frowned thoughtfully, "Well, here I am, this dude who's only had other dudes hate me for being gay. Even in high school, my first boyfriend and all that crap. It was such a messed up situation. He made it seem like we were this disgusting secret that could never be told. Ax says it kinda gave me a complex. And then I met you and couldn't help but think that things would be the same."

Zexion tried to imagine what that might have been like. He couldn't.

"And then… you asked me out. I was so happy and-"

"Dem," Zexion interrupted, "There is nothing wrong with your subsequent emotions. You're human. I confess that I've also been not only amazed but sometimes overwhelmed by how strongly I feel for you."

Demyx felt a wash of tears sting his eyes, he tried to hold them back, "How so?"

Zexion squeezed Demyx's shoulder, nearly pulling the taller man across his lap, "I like to entertain the notion that I am an intelligent, rational man. I go about life methodically and logically. Then I met you and it threw me for a loop. Not in a bad way, mind you. I also worry that I might frighten you, or that this wonderful relationship we share might shrivel away if you get bored of my disposition."

"Pssh, that's not going to happen. I'm a lot more boring than you, Zex."

Zexion snorted rhetorically, "Yes, compared to person who spends the majority of his day in a bookstore with a pink-haired OCD for a boss."

Demyx flung his arms around Zexion, leaning up to press a kiss on his cheek, "No, I'm referring to this educated guy who adores his bookstore and finds satisfaction with his job. He's this brilliantly sexy dude who acts awkward around other people but never that way around his boyfriend."

Zexion felt his heart spike from that declaration; his skin warm and tingling when Demyx pressed calloused fingers gently down his neck. Zexion felt a rush of blood pool liquid in his groin and he was nervous for a moment until he remembered that this was Demyx. Demyx would never make him feel anything but perfect.

Zexion felt his whole body relax, his mind calm and clear when he finally opened his mouth to state, "I'm in love with you, Demyx. And I don't foresee that fact changing."

Demyx dramatically tackled him to the grass, lips pecking butterfly kisses around Zexion's face, "I love you too! So damn much, Zexion!"

They began making out. The action was both heady and fast. Each were breathless when Zexion rolled them over, elbows resting on the grass to prop his face over Dem's and prolong the contact. Zexion began pressing open-mouthed kissed down Demyx's neck. He suckled his Adam's apple before nipping at a collar bone. Neither heard the door behind them open. They were both too wrapped up in each other to notice the ray of light illuminate the lawn around their strewn bodies.

"Damn, you two!" A voice cried out.

The pair glanced over simultaneously to spot Roxas perched at the back landing. His arms were crossed over his chest in apparent amusement with a case of beer dangling by his hip. Roxas was dressed up as a hard-rock singer with fake studs in his nose and ears and tight punk clothing. The blond strode forward carelessly and plopped to the grass beside them while the couple frantically pulled back and tried to appear innocent.

"I leave you two alone for five seconds and you try to hump on the back lawn." Roxas mentioned, deftly handing Demyx and Zexion two beers. Demyx took his and swished back a large chug.

Demyx huffed in pretend agitation when he was finished drinking, "Oh, shove off, Roxas. We know you liked it."

Roxas laughed shortly though his tone sounded off, "I should've gotten a picture to send Marluxia. Would've been the best trick-or-treat on this side of town."

Zexion smoothed his wrinkled shirt, shaking the glitter from his black cloak that had fallen off Demyx's hair.

"Got sick of the party?" Dem asked eventually, just to change the topic.

Roxas scowled and dropped to his back in dismay, "Well I was having fun until jerkwad started flirting with all these chicks and their goddamn perky tits. Fuckin' perverted idiot."

Zexion peered over at his blond friend in concern, "Are you alright, Roxas?"

Roxas snorted, "Yeah, I guess. It just pisses me off how fucking careless that fucktard can be. Seriously, he's all like, oh they're not hitting on me. And I'm like, I have _eyes_, Axel. I'm not blind even when you pretend to be."

Demyx patted Roxas's shoulder, "He's probably just drunk."

"That's doesn't make it better. And don't make excuses for him, Dem." Roxas retorted spitefully.

Zexion popped the cap of his own beer and took a sip, "You know Roxas…"

Roxas glanced over but didn't get up, his arms spread eagle around him.

"In the last few months I've had the chance to observe your interactions with Axel."

"You're not going to ask me why the hell I'm dating him, are you? Cause honestly I'm asking myself that fucking question already."

"No, what I was going to say is that you two are perfect together."

Roxas finally flung himself up, expression aghast, "What the fuck?"

Zexion nodded, "You heard me. I think it's healthy that you are jealous of Axel talking with girls."

"He's right," Demyx added. "What Zexion means to say is that you might think girls are flirting with him and all, and you may be right. Some will and some won't. But if you didn't love Axel as much as you do you wouldn't get so angry and leave your party to pout about it."

"So you're saying that being a pathetic jealous twit is a good thing?" Roxas deadpanned.

"Correct." Zexion confirmed.

"And let's be serious, Rox." Demyx continued, "How many times have you seen Axel's panties in a bunch because you're the one talking to girls? Remember when he flipped 'cause he thought you'd break up with him for Xion?"

Zexion blinked as he recalled the short girl in her underwear, "He did?"

Demyx cackled, "Oh, god, you should've seen him! I've never seen Axel act like that. He got so freaking dramatic and confronted Xion and told her to stay the hell away from Roxas or he'd smite her like a plague. When Rox found out he got mad at him for being controlling and they had this huge fight."

"How nice that you both find my near-break-up amusing." Roxas sneered.

Demyx smiled openly, "You forget how it all ended, Rox. You guys are glued together and can barely function apart. Remember? You came up during one of my live shows and went on stage in the middle of a song to confess that you were in love with Axel. You did that all in front of your brother! And Sora got all weepy and wished you both the best and told you how obvious it was that Axel adored you?"

Roxas frowned at his beer, "Yeah, I remember. That was fucking embarrassing."

"More or less embarrassing then being perturbed at Axel for conversing with scantily-clad ladies during a costume party?" Zexion murmured rhetorically.

Roxas chose not to dignify that comment with a response.

He turned to Demyx instead, "What did Axel say to you during that time?"

Demyx glanced up with a hum, trying to recall, "You mean after he came whining to me that he'd just lost the best thing that ever happened to him? And by whining, I mean uncontrollably sobbing?"

Roxas quietly murmured, "He said that?"

Demyx crawled forward to wrap his arms around his friend, "Dude, Roxas, my Zexion is supposed to be the one who acts oblivious."

Zexion glared, "I'm sitting right here."

Roxas sighed when Demyx pulled away, "I just get so unsure of things sometimes. I know that Axel loves me, but I wonder if he feels like there's someone better out there."

"I doubt this shall comfort you," Zexion said wryly, "But from what I've seen you are the only human being who could put up with Axel's… ostentatious behavior."

"That's not true!" Roxas suddenly shouted.

Demyx giggled and played along, "Yeah?"

"Yeah! Axel is amazing! People just don't give him a chance-" Roxas clamped his teeth together, amazed that he'd been defending the guy he was supposed to be mad at.

"I see," Zexion allowed coyly, "And you want people to give him a chance? And realize how, as you put it, amazing he is?"

Roxas flung back to the ground, hands kneading his eyes aggressively, "Oh, shut up."

Demyx and Zexion smiled at each other discretely.

"Oh! This is where you guys ran off to!" Axel's voice echoed across the empty yard.

Axel jumped off the landing and shut the door, meandering over to Roxas and frowning when he saw his lover on the grass. Axel bent down on his knees and brushed Roxas's hair.

"Rox? Are you okay?" Axel's tone was awash with pure concern. "Are you not feeling well? Do you need anything?"

Roxas peeked up at his boyfriend through spread fingers and croaked, "I'm fine."

Axel didn't believe him, "If you say so. But if you need anything…"

Demyx chuckled, "He's good. Just a little green-eyed monster trying to scare him on Halloween is all."

Axel quirked an eyebrow, "A green-eyed what now? Roxas, is some chick hitting on you? Cause I'll tell her off in a heartbeat!"

Roxas laughed and pulled himself up onto his butt, "No, Ax. I'm fine. Nobodies hitting on me."

Axel became immediately suspicious, "You're lying, Rox. I don't like it."

Roxas was taken aback, "What?"

"Of course girls are going to hit on you! I mean, hell, you normally look sexy but tonight even I have a hard time not staring at your ass." Axel retorted.

Roxas rolled his eyes, "What about yourself, huh? What about that chick in the nurses outfit?"

Axel blinked, confused, "You mean Aerith Fair? Like, Zack's wife?"

Zexion burst out laughing, he couldn't help it. Once he started he couldn't stop. Demyx followed him a moment later and they both giggled uncontrollably, collapsing with their backs resting.

Axel watched them, amazed. He'd never seen Zexion laugh like that and he didn't understand what was so funny to begin with. He peered down at his boyfriend, trying to find the answer.

Roxas reached his hand out motioning for Axel to help him to his feet. Once standing, Roxas held his boyfriend's hand tightly before smirking down at his friends.

"So, you'll never guess what I saw Zexion and Demyx doing on your lawn…" Roxas slyly mentioned.

"Roxas!" The couple shouted in unison.

Axel threw his arm around Roxas's shoulder, "Ohhhh, did you get photos? We can send them to that pink-haired dude."

Demyx stood, "Why does everyone wanna take photos of us dry-humping?"

Zexion blinked, feeling rather naïve, "That was considered '_dry-humping_?' What is the difference between wet and dry humping?"

Axel's jaw dropped, "Seriously?"

Three sets of laughter followed them back inside to their Halloween party, Zexion ducking his head in shame. Demyx retrieved his cloak and wrapped it around his bare torso before pecking his boyfriend on the cheek.

Zexion felt his mouth twist into a smile. Maybe Halloween wasn't so bad, after all.

TBC.


	8. The Impulsive Situation

The Cogitare Bookstore

By DXMJUNKIE

A/N: _And this is when the rating goes to M, my kiddies. This work of fanfiction might be intriguing for those under the age of 18 to read- but they shouldn't. Mummy wouldn't like it. Drugs are illegal, mmmkay? _

_I tried to keep it innocent for as long as I could. But I just –_needed- _to write the smut. *Sniffles* I know, I know. Molly-dear (my lovely fiancée) would pat my shoulder whilst I tearfully admit, yes, fanfiction is my addition. Then she would push me aside and snag my laptop to read the smut herself. _

Chapter Eight: The Impulsive Situation

As early morning sun ended the nightlong party, attendees stumbled home in zombie-like droves. The house was absolutely trashed. Innumerable empty cups and bottles had been shoved between tiny nooks and crannies. Glitter caked the hardwood floor and stairs like herpies, glued down from beer or liquor spilt and stomped upon. The air smelled pungently of sweat and smoke.

Axel was far too tired to give a fuck. His normally spiked hair drooped limp and his face paint was smeared unattractively. He resembled a creepy psychotic clown; only a clown with the penchant to wear cowboy vests and blue jeans. The redhead sleepily looped an arm around Roxas' shoulder and disappeared into his bedroom with murmurs of, '_We should really hire a maid to clean this mess up for us, Roxy.' _

Zexion and Demyx collapsed in Axel's spare room around six. They'd both made plans not to work that day, so neither found a problem with the early hour. The raised space was nowhere near large enough to fit both comfortably but neither was complaining.

Demyx took their conversation from earlier as a green light to explore their '_natural transition in dating'_. He barely gave Zexion a chance to tug off his shoes before shoving him down and having his way with the man. Demyx's cheeks were flushed, eyes eager and clearly visible from the sun filtering past the shades. Their kisses shortly ended as they attempted to remove their costumes.

Zexion assisted with tugging the overly-complicated leather straps of the bow and arrow set away before removing Dem's lengthy wig and elf-ears. Demyx in turn wiped the excess white makeup off Zexion's face along with his shirt only to kiss the chaffed skin that was equally pale. Clothes were thrown, carelessly strewn across the carpeting.

Zexion was incredibly intoxicated, more than he'd ever been in his entire life. And he wasn't sorry for it. Not that he needed to be drugged up to touch Demyx of course, he'd wanted that for ages, but the liquid courage gave him a boost of confidence.

He was totally comfortable, not shy or awkward or hesitant. He wanted this, he wanted Demyx. So damn much and messily it surprised him. Not that Demyx's minded the sudden spike with his libido, he matched every stride.

Zexion wholeheartedly participated in their activity, innocently fumbling at the buttons of Dem's pants. With the birds chirping outside the window and Demyx's taunt arms around him, the bookworm was in utopia. Their bare skin brushed slick and smooth; their eyes locked affectionately in the hazy light. Tongues danced wet and sloppy, any chance at chaste innocence long since abandoned.

Demyx was the first to pull their boxers down and firmly settle his bare groin atop Zexion's.

Zexion hitched a sharp breath and his blood thrummed in his ears when they pressed together in this most intimate manner. Dem strung his fingers into Zexion's black-dyed hair, arms trembling to stay upright as they began a slow rhythm. They grinded together with a blissfully sinful urgency.

Zexion allowed himself to touch Demyx anywhere he pleased. His fingertips passionately memorized the curves of muscle, the bumps of vertebrae and the way Dem's stomach would quiver above his when he nibbled at the cusp of his ear.

When they reached their inevitable peak, Zexion's face was buried tight against Demyx's shoulder. Dem's head flung back and his face was openly overwhelmed with pleasure. Demyx dug his fingernails sharply into Zexion's sensitive arms. His mouth gaped wide as he released a heady moan. The noise was far too impossible to hold back. It echoed off the walls as Zexion's stomach was covered with semen.

Then the only sound in the room was their inelegant panting. Zexion kissed Dem's sweaty forehead. Dem cuddled their cooling bodies tight on their sides as they inhaled in unison. Dem idly twined their fingers together, kissing the pads of Zexion's smooth digits.

Right before they sunk into unconsciousness, Zexion wiped their soiled skin off with his abandoned shirt. Demyx managed to snag a blanket around their naked bodies, tucking them into a tight cocoon.

Zexion's final thought before he slept was, '_Halloween is far more agreeable than I'd have anticipated._'

oOo

They woke up abruptly in the late afternoon to the obnoxious whine of a leaf-blower outside the window. Both felt nauseous and had water-deprivation migraines. Zexion's head was throbbing and Demyx was uncontrollably thirsty as he rolled over to his feet, trying to locate his clothes on the floor. Zexion was far from caring that he was naked as he sat up and clutched his temples.

The musician, wearing only crumpled boxers, stumbled out of the room to steal a set of t-shirts from Axel's closet. Zexion washed his face in the bathroom, cheeks tingling when he recalled the events from that morning. But his headache was adamant. All he really wanted to do was curl up into a little ball and go back to sleep. Preferably with Demyx beside him.

After Demyx brought them a temporary change of clothes (the shirt fit Zexion surprisingly well if not a tad snug) and they meandered down to the kitchen. No progress had been made to clean the place. Zexion spotted parts of various costume accessories forgotten on the couch and floor. Their bare feet became sticky with glitter.

Roxas sat at Axel's large oak table in the kitchen. The blonde was staring blankly at his steaming cup of tea as if in a trance. He animated slightly when the pair reached him.

"Oh, hi," Roxas grunted.

Demyx collapsed into a chair and pushed his palms to his forehead, "I wanna die."

"It was the cheap vodka." Roxas managed to admit, ceramic mug against his pursed lips. "Never mix liquor and beer."

Zexion located two clean mugs and poured water from the faucet. He spun back over and placed the mug in front of Demyx while sipping his own. Dem downed the drink in four huge gulps, head dropping with a thud on the table in time with the glass.

"Don't worry." Roxas finally managed an attempt at sympathy, obviously miserable.

"Huh?" Demyx didn't lift his head.

"Axel's on the way back. He went to buy weed from Xigbar."

Zexion stiffed as he stood by Dem's shoulder, "Weed? You mean marijuana?"

Demyx glanced back at him, "Yeah, why?"

Zexion blinked rapidly in surprise, "Oh, nothing."

Roxas smirked, "Oh, Zexion. Still so innocent. Axel's t-shirt looks good on you by the way, but it doesn't hide the huge hickey on your neck… Which tells me you lost a little of that innocence this Halloween…"

Zexion slapped his hand over his Adam's apple and scowled, plopping himself into the remaining seat and glaring despondently at the table.

Demyx smiled wearily, "Zexion, you didn't know that we smoke pot?"

Zexion shook his head in negation, brain hazily unable to figure out how he should actually feel. Weed was bad after all, wasn't it?

Demyx sighed, "Oh, I'm sorry for not saying anything. I don't know what you think about those sorts of things, but yeah, we all smoke on occasion. Not like addicts or anything, I care too much about my singing voice."

"It's for medicinal purposes," Roxas croaked, "Particularly occasions where cheap vodka is making your brain slosh against your skull and you're nauseous as hell."

Demyx nodded stoically, "Sometimes, you achieve certain hangovers that find you puking all day in misery."

"When you puke all day, you don't want to eat," Roxas added unhappily.

"Weed makes you want to eat something, so you don't end up dry-heaving for hours on end." Demyx finished.

Zexion rolled his eyes, "Wouldn't the logical cure be, perhaps, not drinking so much that you puke the subsequent day? And pacing yourself?"

Roxas swatted at Zexion's arm but missed. Demyx stuck his tongue out in a childish retort.

Zexion's eyebrow twitched, "Excuse me?"

Demyx pouted at him in amusement, "Zexy, I'm only twenty-one, of course I'm gonna do illegal things from time to time. Hell, I'm an artist, it's fun! _And_ I'm not even done with college yet, I have plenty of time to fuck up in worse ways. Let me enjoy my stupid times, dear. I want to hypocritically and properly bitch about consequences which are entirely my fault."

Zexion chuckled, "That's a very illogical way of thinking."

Bright blue eyes glanced at the slate-haired man, Roxas quietly asking, "You won't think badly of us for smoking, will you?"

Demyx flinched, turning towards his boyfriend in realization. He bit his lip, waiting for Zexion to respond.

Zexion shrugged absently, not noticing Dem's anguish in his current thought-stunted state.

He opened his mouth to promptly inform them, "From what I've researched about marijuana… is that on any drug scale, it's harmless. Marijuana has never caused a fatality from overdose. It assists cancer patients with their radiation and allows those people to manage their unimaginable pain. Pregnant women can smoke marijuana to avoid morning sickness with absolutely no harm to the fetus. The only problem is the additives to the plant to make it more potent. Which reminds me- if the government didn't make so much money off marijuana being illegal, it would be far less taboo. And after all, it was because of the colonial era in our history that soldiers even boycotted the hemp plant-"

"I'm back." Axel accidentally interrupted as he entered the kitchen wearing sweats and an old shirt.

Roxas moaned in relief, "Good to have you home. And choice timing. Zexion was going all colonial on us."

Demyx smiled at his boyfriend, "I was interested in what you were saying."

Axel dropped to his seat, face sallow and looking like crap, "Will someone fetch me a glass of water?"

Roxas was about to get up but Zexion beat him to it. Zexion filled the glass before pushing it in front of Axel. The redhead downed the drink as eagerly as Demyx had.

"Dudes, let's go smoke." Axel stated when he was finished, pulling a plastic baggie out of his jeans.

Zexion shook his head, "Um-"

Axel's vibrant green eyes fell on him and Zexion suddenly felt foolish as the redhead rhetorically asked, "What, you've never used an aspirin before? Never taken caffeine in your coffee? Pot is just another drug, isn't it? Except it's something you smoke instead of a pill you swallow? Mild side effects might include not giving a fuck, chilling, eating food and or contemplating life the universe and everything?"

Zexion silently followed the group to Axel's room. Demyx tugged at his arm in the doorway, face clearly concerned and upset. Demyx turned and frowned at his lover.

"You don't have to smoke, Zexion," Demyx stated. "Don't listen to Axel,"

Zexion rolled his eyes comically, carelessly leaning over and pressing his lips against Dem's. The bookworm was uncaring that this action was in front of Axel and Roxas. Then he smoothed his hand over Dem's hair, fingers tangling in the back.

"Dem, I feel like crap this afternoon. I'm not afraid of a plant that pregnant women can use and might cure my unsettling alcohol-induced agony. And do you honestly think Marly might drug test me?"

Demyx remained staring at the floor before Zexion tipped his chip to stare at aqua eyes, "Now, Demyx, don't automatically assume that I'm going to look down on you for such activities."

Demyx pulled Zexion away from the door and into the hallway, "I know, it's just-"

"Do I need to remind you how much I adore you?" Zexion whispered as he tried to usher them back inside the bedroom, "Never doubt yourself. I admire you most when you are acting as yourself with no pretense."

Demyx shyly pecked him one more time before twining their fingers together, "'Kay."

"You two are pretty mushy." Axel smirked when they finally closed his bedroom door.

Axel glanced at Zexion, "Nice love bite, dude. Finally tap the Dem?"

Zexion tilted his head in confusion as he sat on the floor, "What?"

Roxas snorted, "Did you guys travel down the penetration tunnel with lubricant this morning?"

Demyx scowled as he crossed his legs, "Shut up, Rox. You and Ax may not do the PDA, but you can bet I've had to listen to you hump when we lived in the dorms."

Axel shoved a glass pipe in front of Dem's face, "Shut up dude and take the green. I'm too hungover."

"You brought it up!" Dem pouted.

Zexion watched as Demyx held the lighter over the plant. Demyx puffed his cheeks and pushed the pipe towards Axel. The smoke was less repulsive than Zexion anticipated, definitely potent, however it was earthly. Not unlike incense.

As Roxas returned the pipe to Dem, Zexion finally asked, "How do I do this?"

Roxas blinked in shock, obviously not expecting him to join in their activity, "Zexion, you shouldn't feel pressured to do anything that you don't want to-"

Zexion huffed, "I feel like shit Roxas. And I honestly presume… getting stoned, as it were, will not make that worse."

Demyx showed him how to hold his thumb over a hole on the side of the glass, and instructed him to inhale as much as he could manage. Zexion followed his directions, trying to recall and entirely unsure if smoking marijuana induced hallucinations or not. He had researched the drug, after all, but that had been a long time ago for a research paper. Studying something like that wasn't the same as actually participating. You can hear many people talk about skydiving, he thought, but it's never the same as jumping.

It tasted just how it smelled, Zexion noticed as he held the smoke in his lungs. It wasn't as harsh as the cigars his father used to smoke, or like the lone cigarette that he once allowed since Marluxia wasn't an ideal influence. He exhaled slowly, unused to the waves of smoke rolling away from his mouth.

He felt calm. He glanced over at Demyx and uncaringly twined their arms and fingers together. Demyx grinned and dropped his chin atop Zexion's shoulder, making quiet noises as he pecked the man's cheek. Zexion smiled in appreciation, inexplicably grateful that Demyx was in his life. He brushed his fingertips across the man's lips.

"Um, yeah, seriously, you guys are grossing me out." Roxas insisted after a moment.

Zexion smirked up at his friend, "Roxas, you were the matchmaker in this match. Who are you to object?"

Axel chuckled, "Y'know though, I'm glad for you guys."

Demyx glanced up at his oldest friend, "What'chu on about, bo-i?"

Axel leaned forward to laugh, locking eyes with the bookworm, "What I mean is, thank fucking god you came around Zexion."

Zexion was exhaling another hit, "I'm an atheist."

Axel leaned forward and messed with Zexion's already untidy hair, "What I mean, is… I guess, you're good for him. Dem's a fucking weirdo, I know, but you two balance each other out. And he's… probably… good for you."

Demyx scowled comically, "What's with the probably?"

Roxas scooted off the raised bed and sat between Dem and Zexion, "We are probably the greatest concentration of gay-boys in one single establishment. Don't you agree, Watson?"

Roxas lopsidedly smiled at Axel, "Or should I call you creepy-clown?"

Axel pushed his way onto the floor also, handing the pipe to Demyx. The group became huddled in a little mass. Smoke hung thick in the air, twirling around them. The group was inimitably relaxed and content with being sprawled on a floor.

"I wasn't a creepy clown. And by the way, oh, says the pipsqueak that thought I was being hit on by Aerith." Axel retorted absently.

Roxas punched him in his bicep, Axel pushing forward to flop atop his smaller boyfriend. Demyx cheered as the pair fought playfully. Zexion smiled at Dem, easily kissing him with no afterthought. Dem's eyes danced as he bit Zexion's lower lip in retaliation.

"And you know," Roxas finally yelped, trying to release himself from Axel's grasp.

Axel pulled Roxas onto his lap, arms tightly clutching his shirt and torso. Roxas allowed it and relaxed.

"What's the funniest thing is… Two months ago I would have probably fainted if I saw Zexion kissing Demyx." Roxas let his hands rest on Axel's arm.

Zexion turned, "Yes, well, I suppose we ought to create a clan for our assembled homosexual group… nothing with wax in the title, however."

Demyx burst out laughing, recalling their conversation about sadism from the previous night.

Roxas blinked.

"Yeah, we'll be sure to do that, Zexion." Axel flatly stated.

"Wax…" Roxas muttered in confusion.

That day was spent doing nothing but sit in Axel's bedroom, eating sporadic unhealthy snack foods and chatting. The group of friends rambled and bantered like it had always been that way, all comfortable with making jibes at each other.

Demyx kissed him several times after Zexion dropped the musician back at his home. Zexion effortlessly pushed Demyx against the side of his building, hands roaming over Axel's borrowed t-shirt. Demyx giggled and pecked his nose, pulling arms around Zexion's torso to hug.

"Come visit me at work tomorrow?" Zexion requested in a husky whisper.

Demyx pulled back a few inches, "I'll be there, and I'll bring you coffee."

Zexion stared directly into Dem's clear aqua eyes and smiled absently, "Thank you for this morning…."

Dem shyly ducked his chin, "I should be thanking you."

"I rather hope, that, well, we continue such endeavors. I'd like to make myself more skilled." Zexion murmured, cheeks bright red.

"Only if… Sometimes soon…" Demyx motioned his index finger, indicating that what he would say was a secret.

Dem's lips were close to Zexion's ear when he admitted playfully, "I'd really love to feel you inside me, Zexy."

Zexion's face flushed darker, he was unable to respond as Dem cheerfully kissed him and pranced inside the apartment complex. He'd never had a nickname before, he randomly thought as he strode home.

OoO


	9. The Deflowering Situation

The Cogitare Bookstore

By DXM JUNKIE

Chapter Nine: The Deflowering Situation

**A/N:** I've been away for a while. Life's been rather hectic- I got sued, car broke down, laptops been on the fritz. If you like, I daresay you might also enjoy leaving me a review.

Zexion tried to appear nonchalant when Demyx showed up at his work looking wonderful as always with a large steaming cup of coffee.

Their parting comments to one another from the previous night were still whirling around his head, making him dizzy. Demyx gave him an enthusiastic hug as per usual, and couldn't help but giggle when Zexion blushed from the casual contact. They were soon spooned on the couch beside each other, conversing gently. Zexion had the habit of ignoring everything he was doing during work-wise to enjoy the precious time Dem got to spend in his store now that classes were in full swing for the student.

Marluxia took note of this interaction from behind the register, raising a curious eyebrow and he tapped his pen against a pile of books. Something must have happened recently. Zexion was acting far too flustered. And being the excellent boss that he was, Marly wanted to pry.

"How was Halloween?" Marluxia asked coyly as he propped his chin in his hand, trying to appear conversational.

Demyx smiled and turned towards him, "Wonderful, thank you. Did you have fun also?"

"Meh, I suppose."

"So many people showed up at the party the other night, it was epic! I got a lot of compliments on my elf costume. And Zexion was a great vampire!"

Marly meandered over to the chair beside them and plopped down, crossing his arms. "Pictures or it didn't happen."

"No way!" Demyx teased, "You'd just hold it over our heads."

"Drat, you've already discovered my horrid secret." Marly wailed in mock-pain. "However shall I live when you know the truth behind the mask?"

Zexion scoffed, "Demyx deduced that secret a long time ago for himself."

Demyx turned to him, "I am incredibly observant when I want to be."

"That you are." Zexion agreed instantly, lifting his chin to nod.

Bingo, Marluxia snickered to himself.

"Well, wellllllll. How very nice." The pink-haired man smiled ostentatiously.

Zexion blinked, "Pardon?"

"Oh? Sorry. Just thinking about how huge that love-hickey on your neck looks from this angle. I couldn't see it earlier since your hair has gotten longer, but golly gee, there it is."

Zexion slapped his hand over his throat. Demyx patted his arm consolingly with a frown aimed at the floor.

Marluxia turned his attention to Dem and asked seriously, "So, did you finally strip him and have your way with his untainted body?"

Ahh, the success of a job well done, Marluxia thought gleefully. Zexion was now officially as flustered and embarrassed as humanly possible. The poor bookworm was speechless. Demyx's cheeks were also flushed in amazement by his crude inquiry, but the musician was far more composed with his response.

"That is truly none of your business, pervert." Demyx flatly stated, pausing. "But let's just say that Zexion is very very nice to look at. And you'll never be lucky enough to see. Pent up frustration much, Marly?"

"Demyx!" Zexion shouted, clamping his free hand over Dem's mouth.

Marluxia's grin was that of the cheshire cat. Dangerous.

Demyx laughed cheekily, "Sorry, I had to speak the truth. Just because Marluxia hasn't gotten laid in a while doesn't mean he can take it out on you when you get action."

Zexion quieted, feeling elated and pleased that Demyx felt that way in the first place.

The bell from the front of the shop chimed, Marly pulling himself up to his feet to unhappily greet the customer. The pink-haired man brightened when he spotted who walked in and scampered around shelves, totally forgetting about his desire to get back at the musician for his comment.

Zexion glanced at Demyx shyly when he heard his boyfriend speak.

"What time do you get off work?"

"Four-thirty." Zexion responded.

"Can you take a break now for like ten minutes?"

"Sure," Zexion's eyes flashed over to Marluxia. The man was trying to chat with one of his many crushes, a gothic girl named Paine. Marly had nothing if not a really weird taste in lovers.

He leaned over to whisper in his boyfriend's ear conspiratorially, "See that girl over there? Marly's been chasing after her for quite a while. Now he might attempt at proving you wrong by jumping her."

Demyx reached across and grabbed Zexion's slender wrist, "Then let's leave him alone. Seeing Marly all love-struck and on the prowl kinda creeps me out."

Zexion chuckled and followed Demyx to the back of the store. The very moment the door was closed Demyx had already spun an arm around Zexion's waist and pressed his lips against the compliant mouth. Zexion breathed deeply through his nose and he shoved his boyfriend backwards against the door with a thud, tongue probing past Dem's teeth.

Demyx loved to play with Zexion's hair, he adored pushing his bangs aside and seeing his whole face. His silky hair was constantly hiding one of his eyes most of the time, but damn if only Dem could memorize that complex color of the full set. These were the times that the silent man was so easy to read, he could know what he was thinking just from his eyes. Zexion spun their fingers together beside Dem's head, kissing his way down his taunt neck. Zexion breathed again deeply, Demyx always smelled the absolute best. His lips flew over his Adam's apple, nipping the coller bone right above Dem's button-up shirt. The musician couldn't hold back the quiet moan, he could feel Zexion's hardness through his pants and it made his thoughts standstill.

The pulled back for a long moment to suck in some oxygen, Zexion's eyes were hazy and drooped. Demyx huffed, trying to cool himself down and curb his desire. Goddammit though, Zexion was far too seductive. It was crazy addictive. The best part of that being that the man had no idea, and that Demyx was the first person to ever see this side of him.

Zexion's free hand reached to the doorknob behind them and Demyx heard the lock click. Demyx pursed his lips curiously, wondering what the bookworm was going to next. As if he didn't already know the answer.

Zexion all but dragged Demyx onto a chair by the table, splaying across his lap and grinding their arousals blissfully as if he'd done so a million times.

Demyx attacked Zexion's mouth enthusiastically, hands cupping his boyfriend's denim-covered ass. He carelessly let his fingertips wander up and under his simple shirt to tease the sensitive skin and bumps of vertebrae he found. Zexion's breath hitched as he sat back a little to decisively pull off his own shirt. Demyx's calloused fingers found their way to Zex's pert pink nipples, tweaking them and feeling the man shudder above him. Zexion's skin was so pale, he didn't have an extra ounce on flesh on him. His body was slender and graceful, Demyx hummed his appreciation of the sight.

Zexion pushed his hand down between them, pressing his palm around the hot bulge. He quickly unsnapped the musicians pants and dove under to hold Dem's weeping member. Demyx's head flung back in astonishment as Zexion started pumping his length, thumbing over his slit while wetly sucking the skin on Dem's shoulder. Zexion smirked when he saw the area bruise, he felt a possessive streak shoot through him when he'd marked that delicate flesh.

It was so strange to be sober and doing this, Zexion considered for a moment. But he wasn't hesitating anymore, and getting to see Demyx aroused felt like the most magnificent privilege. Zexion attempted to push the small buttons of the frustrating shirt away, however his hands trembled too anxiously.

Zexion returned to the present when Demyx fished his own erect penis out, he hissed when cool air hit. Zexion pushed away his own black boxers and harshly ground their bare heads against one another, mixing their precum and lubricating his hand. Their hearts thrummed aggressively as Demyx brought his fingers to clasp alongside Zexion's and started pumping them in unison. Zexion had to hold his arm around the chair-back to to remain upright.

"We'll get your clothes dirty," Zexion rasped.

"I could seriously care less," Demyx whispered back, his hand frantically moving between them.

Zexion was already too aroused, he was already too… His mouth dropped open as his whole body went stiff and he keened sharply. Demyx held him tighter so he wouldn't topple over.

Even as Zexion rode out his orgasm the man retained enough mind to continue touching Dem, to continue pleasuring him. Demyx hadn't been expecting this and released shortly after, face buried in Zexion's bare shoulder. They panted together, Zexion messily tonguing him as his heart still thud in his chest. Demyx nuzzled the underside of Zex's chin, pressing a kiss to the lobe of his ear.

Demyx's musical voice was wickedly amused as he mentioned, "We totally deflowered the back of your bookstore today."

Zexion laughed openly from the comment, glancing down at Demyx's limp penis. His gaze traced the curves of his lovers smooth skin, over his hip bones and flat belly. He'd missed several buttons of the shirt so he couldn't see Dem's full chest.

Demyx squirmed from the attention, unused to anyone staring at him like that. He bit his lip uncertainly, "…What?"

"You are the dictionary definition of perfect." Zexion admitted, eyes trained on Dem's flawless skin. "I believe that was in the Webster Dictionary, the sixty-ninth edition, word-for-word."

Demyx rolled his eyes, trying to not appear embarrassed, "Oh, really now?"

The musician reached over to tug a box of tissues resting on the table closer, cleaning them both up. His shirt received the brunt of their release, Zexion's own strewn across the floor and clean. Zexion stood reluctantly, gracefully reaching down to retrieve his own shirt and tug it back over his head as if nothing was amiss.

He was actually sad to see Demyx zip his pants back up and hide his sculpted stomach under his now wrinkled shirt.

"Um, I have an extra jacket so you don't have to… rather, walk home like that." Zexion said awkwardly.

Dem's eyes flashed in amusement as he got to his feet, "That would be wonderful dear."

Zexion retrieved the navy jacket from his small cubby a moment later, Dem trailing closely. Demyx wrapped his arms around Zexion's waist again and murmured a sweet thank you.

"I would sincerely enjoy if, next time, we are butt naked. Maybe later today would be nice, but if not tomorrow." Zexion replied, trying to appear confident. Demyx wholeheartedly agreed, adding that he was free after his night class and would drop by.

After sharing a cup of coffee and several chaste kisses, Demyx departed for the afternoon.

And as a matter-of-fact, Zexion truly felt that the best part of the entire encounter was the smug shit-eating grin on Dem's face as he waved a scowling Marluxia goodbye.

XXX

"Hey what's shakin' Zexy?" Roxas waved, striding forward with puffs of breath visible in the chill air.

Zexion smiled up at his friend from where he was lounging. He'd gone out for a walk along the lakeside by his apartment and hadn't expected to see Roxas there. It was late November but the water in front of him was already frozen solid. They'd had a huge snowstorm that weekend. He'd been entertained for nearly twenty minutes from watching couples ice-skate in the distance, trying to not laugh when they fell down.

"Good afternoon. What brings you out here?" Zexion quiried, scooting over to give Roxas some room on his bench.

The blond took a quick drag of the cigarette he was smoking before dropping it to the icy ground and crushing his boot over it.

"Needed to get out of the house, randomly ended up walking along the lake. Axel's brother Reno is visiting and I fucking hate that man."

Zexion hummed, "I didn't know Axel had a brother."

Roxas bent forward, "Ohhhh yeah."

"Do they look alike?"

"Yeah, super similar. It creeped me out first. Except Reno has blue eyes and a hick-ass rat rail." Roxas huffed in agitation.

"Why don't you like this fellow?" Zexion asked curiously.

"You would understand it if you met him. For sharing the same parents, those two are opposite as hell. If anything, Reno acts how Axel probably did in high school."

"Ah, yes, you only met Axel in college if I remember correctly. In a lecture."

Roxas sighed, "I just wish I didn't have to deal with the baggage of his family. Or mine."

Zexion blinked, turning, "Actually, Roxas, in the time I've known you, you haven't really spoken about your family. All I know is what Demyx has told me."

Roxas make a sound of disgust, "What has he told you?"

"Your brother is the only one who knows your dating Axel. And you don't particularly get along with either of your parents."

Roxas remained silent.

"You don't have to talk about this, of course." Zexion added. "I am not trying to pry if you feel it's none of my business."

Roxas finally cracked a smile, "You really haven't changed, Zexion. Still so polite. It's not that I don't trust you, I just don't like to talk about it."

"Then we shall change the subject." Zexion prompted.

"No, it's fine. I just don't get along with my parents. My brother- I don't think you've met him- but he's also the exact opposite of me in every way. My parents adore him and are simply required to deal with me. I came from a really small town, a lot more prejudices there. If they were to ever know I was dating Ax… That I was… gay…."

Roxas deflated, leaning back and distantly staring at the lake. Zexion felt a tug of affection for Roxas. The kid was a lot stronger then he thought he was.

"It's hard on Axel too, us having to hide our relationship all the time. I can't visit him during holidays, I can't bring him home. And it's not because I'm scared of what they'll say to me… I'm terrified of what they might say about Axel or do to him. They would try to use him against me or get him out of my life. They can be horrible people, truly dreadful to deal with." Roxas sounded dejected.

"I'm sure Axel understands how you feel. He knows you are trying to protect him."

"What do you mean?" Roxas glanced at him incredulously.

"Well, for one thing. How should I put this? Axel is an incredibly… exuberant person in regards to affection. I'm pretty sure if you'd let him he'd be making out with you on the street corner with his hand up your shirt. But he knows that you aren't partial to those public displays, that you are quite a bit more reserved than him. That is why he doesn't out your relationship like I'm sure he would do to every person who would actually listen to him."

Roxas burst out laughing at the thought, "He can be so obnoxious too!"

Zexion chuckled also, "When he rants about… that sort of thing? Why, yes, yes he can be. I digress, what I mean to say that it's his way of protecting you."

Roxas nodded absently, "… I try to tell him, too. How I feel about those sorts of things. But it's different. I don't talk to him like I talk to you. Sometimes the words just get trapped and I get so paranoid people are judging us. I've only actually ever told him I'm in love with him seven times. Seven! That's damn stingy. We've been together for so long it's like a given, and I try not to take it for granted. But the words get stuck."

"I didn't think it would be easy for me, either. To tell verbally tell Demyx such… cliche things."

"How do you do it?"

"And not freeze?"

Roxas pulled another cigarette out of his pack and silently pushed the filter against his lips, waiting.

"I'm not truly sure, actually." Zexion considered this for a long minute. "I suppose it's because I know he loves to hear it."

Zexion absently smiled, wistful, "He gets this look on his face when I tell him how I feel about him. He says he enjoys how I word things."

Roxas crossed his leg as he flicked ash to the ground, "I know Axel likes to hear it too. It's just hard to spit out. I'm usually dead drunk when I do say it, and that's hardly romantic."

Zexion snorted, "Roxas, I'm can't fathom how you are unaware of this, but you tell Axel all the time how you feel. You simply do so with actions rather than words. Of course I mostly notice when it's just us four, but Axel's not as stupid as he likes to think."

"Yeah, it's been such a great semester. Just us four. Now that you and Dem are together we can all finally get some peace."

Zexion stood suddenly, "Let's go back to my apartment. We can watch a movie or something until Demyx gets out of class, and that way you don't have to deal with Axel's brother."

Roxas motioned to follow that action but his cell phone chimed from his pocket.

"Hello?" Roxas said after scanning the screen and flipping the device open. "Yeah, I know I did. And I don't care if it gave him a black eye. I'm not going to apologize for punching Reno. He touched my ass, Axel. Which belongs to me."

Blue eyes narrowed, "No! My ass is NOT also your property."

Zexion smirked, amused by the one-sided conversation.

"I'm chilling with Zexion, we are going back to his place." A pause. "Oh, yeah totally. Me and Zexion are going to get butt naked and cheat on you and Demyx. It was bound to happen eventually." Roxas deadpanned. "Yeah, yeah, I'll be back later. Don't let Reno destroy anything."

Roxas huffed in a deep breath before imploring, "Oh, and Axel? I love you. Dipshit."

After flipping the phone shut quickly, Roxas's cheeks burned pink. His forehead dropped to his knees and he clutched his cell tight in his hand. Zexion patted Roxas's back several times before grinning.

"Now it's eight times. And you didn't mention punching Reno in the face..."

Roxas peaked up at Zexion, still embarrassed but somehow pleased with himself. "It was pretty badass."

His phone chimed once more and when Roxas glanced at the texted photo waiting he felt much better. He turned the screen toward Zexion who had to squint to see the image.

It was a redheaded man who did look a lot like Axel. And his right blue eye was black as night and his nose looked slightly askew. Under the photo the message stated, "I love you for beating up my brother, Roxas. And your ass does, at least partly, belong to me. Tell Zexion I said so."


	10. The Shameful Situation

The Cogitare Bookstore

By DXM JUNKIE

**A/N:** In eight days I move from my beloved college town up to middle of bumfuck Wisconsin to live with my father for a month. All I've been doing is hanging out with my friends every single moment I can. Going to the beach, campfires, meteor-shower watching, long hikes in the woods, laughing at drunk people, being drunk, taking tons of photos… ect. In fact my really good friend will be over at my place just to paint. We are going to drink fancy New Glarus Spotted Cow beer, smoke an occasional cigarette and cover canvas until the sun rises. Might as well do it while I can. So, anyway, not that you really care. I just had to write that somewhere. This chapter I finally get to add some Akuroku back into the mix. Cause I can't stop my OTP. 3 Oh, and I'm sorry but I'm putting the hate on Reno. I love his character and all, but Roxas's body is for Axel alone to cherish. And vice versa.

Chapter Ten: The Shameful Situation

Roxas and Zexion were truly two very like minded sorts of people.

Their companionable afternoon was pleasant to say the least. Roxas insisted on watching several eccentric online documentaries, one of which was cleverly titled "The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia". They spent hours laughing at the horrible antics on Zexion's tiny computer screen, scarfing down grilled cheese sandwiches while chatting as if they'd been like this for years.

Roxas nicknamed their long conversations 'brain sex' because they both rambled on an intellectual level which they could seldom find around others. This was one of the first things Zexion respected about the blond when he'd first started stopping by Cogitare; the kid probably had a higher IQ then he did. Roxas spent his childhood exactly as Zexion had, dead silent with his nose in giant books. They'd both gone to university for similar things, like literature, semantics, religion, astronomy, science, philosophy and rhetoric.

They both aways pushed themselves to learn from an early age just for the sake of it; absorbing and contemplating everything they felt like mattered. They each had their own way of enjoying life, were each thriving in the personal relationships that used to scare the shit out them. And now, oddly enough, they both had everything in common what with Demyx being Axel's best friend and vice versa.

What Roxas enjoyed most about Zexion was that in his company he had reprieve from the stupid bullshit he felt he endured on a day-to-day basis. In Roxas' opinion, there were a lot of stupid muthafuckas floating around the country and he probably wouldn't enjoy talking with most of them. But Zexion was an eclectic thinker and adept at retaining his curiosity even after graduation. That was something to respect. Roxas knew that he would be friends with Zexion for the rest of his life, and that he trusted the man implicitly.

Zexion was unaware of this fact, of course, but Roxas didn't talk about his relationship with Axel to anyone. Not Demyx, not Xion, not anyone. His brother aside he could count on one hand the people he'd told he was gay. Not that he was trying to be in the closet; but there were problems with his parents to consider and he felt that was better left done after he had a college diploma in hand. Zexion was far too kind to betray Roxas's trust. And his trust was astonishingly difficult to earn.

Demyx showed up after his class with a huge stack of books in tow, he had a hard time kicking open the door from under the weight. Zexion arose from his couch to greet the guy at the doorway and assist him.

"How was class?" Zexion inquired, scooping some books from the musician's arms.

Demyx huffed as he plopped the rest of the pile on Zexion's kitchen counter, "Oh, just rad. Spent about fifteen minutes playing solitaire, another twenty staring out the window as it got dark, oh, and the remaining thirty surfing Reddit. Night classes are so fun."

Zexion glanced at the books, "And these are?"

"Oh, my friend Xion- you know her, she was the cowboy at Halloween, remember? Well, she's moving out of her dorm after finals and needs to get rid of all the books she accumulated. She has more in her car that she said she'll bring by the store, but I just grabbed a few I thought you'd like. She almost owns as many as you." Demyx murmured, tapping his fingers on the countertop.

Roxas appeared with a pleased smirk, "Accumulated? Such vocabulary. Zexion is rubbing off on you."

The slate-haired bookworm scanned the spines before pulling one book out with surprise, "Are you sure she wants to give these away for free?"

Demyx blinked, his fingers stilling, "Yeah, why?"

Roxas strode forward, his mouth gaping when he read the title. "Wow! That's incredible. Is that a first edition Ayn Rand? It's in such good condition."

Zexion paged past the cover, nodding at Roxas in affirmation and holding the object aloft, "It's even autographed. To Rodney, December 1957."

Then he twisted back towards Dem, "I supposing Xion is paying for her education on her own, is she not?"

Demyx gave him a funny look, "Well, yeah. Not many kids get their tuition payments handed to them."

"This book is incredibly expensive, not because of its age but because of its controversial content." Zexion explained. "This novel is still heavily banned. It would be much better if I auction this on the internet, I know just the site that would pander to other literature enthusiasts. Then you should give this poor lass her proceeds. And tell her to buy some less revealing clothes next Halloween."

Roxas gasped and snagged the book from his hand, protectively cuddling it to his chest, "And not keep at least cut for yourself? Zexion! This is a first edition Atlas Shrugged. Signed. Hardcover. This book is mint for some collectors. I'm shocked you don't wanna keep it for yourself. You bibliophile."

Zexion snorted, "She probably inherited this copy and doesn't understand its worth. And just in case you haven't seen my bedroom, Roxas, I have an extensive enough library. Plus, my student loans are almost paid off and I don't particularly need the money."

Demyx squealed, reaching forward to hug the slate-haired man, "You are just so freaking wonderful! So smart and kind."

Roxas spun around in mock-contempt, "Dammit you two! It's not even been five minutes and you're already on with the PDA."

Dem stuck his tongue out childishly. "What Zexion wants to do is the sweetest gesture I've ever heard! And you're just jealous you're not this awesome!"

Zexion chuckled, placing a chaste kiss on Dem's Mohawk. "I could make you a grilled cheese," he offered.

Roxas meandered back over to the couch, plopping down to ignore his buddies.

Demyx shook his head slowly in negation, "Naw, I'm not hungry. Plus it's past eight pm. Not healthy to eat at night, I'll get fat."

Zexion smiled in amusement, "Dem, you hardly need to fret about your figure. You are perfectly healthy and if anything a little underweight. But I've seen you naked enough to know-"

"I can still hear you!" Roxas shouted from the living room.

Demyx couldn't help but kiss Zexion warmly. Zexion wasn't normally one for public exhibits of affection, however Demyx adored such displays. And since only Roxas was around, Zexion couldn't help but bump their noses together and nip at his bottom lip. Demyx pulled back with a grin and snagged the bookworms arm, tugging him into the living room.

"What have you guys been doing?"

"Watchin' shit on the internet." Roxas grunted.

"Hiding Roxas like a fugitive." Zexion added seriously.

"Yeah, I figure you wouldn't be at your place. Reno's in town for the night." Demyx sighed with sympathy, "That dude seriously needs to stop hitting on you."

Roxas shook his head, "He grosses me out. He even suggested a threesome with him and Axel just so I would sleep with him! What did he get from that? Oh yeah, a black eye."

Roxas scowled in agitation. "They are fucking BROTHERS. Uh dude, sorry but I'm not fucking kinky enough to like incest." He shivered, "That freak is repulsive, and what's worse is how much he looks like Ax."

Zexion was honestly a little grossed out, "This Reno character sounds lewd. He sincerely propositions you constantly?"

"That's a bit of an understatement, dear." Demyx responded. "Every moment the poor guy is in vicinity. Like a creeper magnet."

Zexion paused, turning to his boyfriend, "On another note, I got to hear Roxas say something rather cheesy today."

Roxas blinked, astonished, "Zexion!"

This made Demyx all the more interested, he leaned over, almost atop Roxas's lap, "Ohhh, what?"

Roxas's cheeks flushed and he pouted, accepting that Zexion was going to say it anyway. Roxas also knew that Demyx enjoyed learned about his multifaceted relationship with his childhood buddy. If he didn't, he would not have forced Axel to kiss him in front of him after their fight.

Zexion scanned Roxas's face for permission, not wanting to hurt his feelings. Roxas' pout became more prominent but he didn't look angry or bitter. He was actually a little relieved to not be talking about Reno anymore.

"I heard Roxas tell Axel that he loved him. He then preceded to call him a dipshit and hang up the phone." Zexion finally answered in a whimsical tone, still amused by that conversation.

Demyx smiled, voice nostalgic, "Aww, that's adorable! And rare. I've only ever seen Roxas say the L word twice. And I've known him a heck of a lot longer."

Zexion pursed his lips for a moment and a thought struck him, "Hey Roxas?"

"What, now?"

"How did you and Axel get together? I know you met in class, disliked him, acted mean and then confessed you loved him on a stage during one of Dem's shows…?" Zexion rambled, trailing off at how odd that whole sentence sounded.

Demyx cheered, arms up in the air, one hundred percent loving this topic, "I'll tell you, Zex! It's like the cutest story evaaaaa! Not as cute as our dating story, but still-!"

"Shut your face, Demyx." Roxas whined in embarrassment.

"You don't have to tell me." Zexion insisted for the second time that day. "I'm merely curious."

Roxas huffed in exasperation, "No, if I don't tell you Dem will. And he'll screw the story up and make it sound like a prissy chick flick."

Roxas crossed his arm, "I require an alcoholic beverage to tell this tale. It cannot be spoken aloud in sobriety."

Zexion pondered; he actually did have beer in his refrigerator left over from Dem's last live show. He stood gracefully and grabbed three from the fridge. It was still relatively early after all, and he didn't need to work until eleven the next afternoon. Once the beverages were distributed, Zexion settled beside Dem once more. Roxas cracked the tab open and blankly stared at the foam atop his can after chugging several gulps.

"So…" He hummed. "I actually don't know where to start."

"Start at the beginning." Zexion insisted, "From the first day you met him."

"Okay, I guess. We got paired for a group project, and I was a lot different back then. More withdrawn and probably a million times more of an ass. We worked together all semester and eventually I cracked and started enjoying Axel's company. He was obnoxious and loud but he also would go out of his way to help me. It was kinda nice. We didn't date until almost ten months of us knowing each other. After that class was over we just kept hanging out, we'd go to the skatepark and stuff. I met Dem right after that."

Demyx nodded, sipping his beer. Zexion also lifted his can to take a drink.

"So, yeah." Roxas tried to keep his face passive, "I ended up humping Axel after a random party."

Zexion choked, coughing for a moment and wiping his hand across his mouth. Roxas snorted but continued.

"And talk about fucking awkward after that. It was hard to be in his presence even though we said we'd put it behind us. And then, I don't even know how, we fucked again."

"And again." Demyx insisted.

"And again." Roxas confirmed. "And you get the drift. But we weren't dating or anything, we both insisted it was totally casual."

Demyx frowned in disgust. "Yeah, you didn't have to stay up in the middle of the night listening to your oldest buddy hump in the dorms. Those walls are like plywood."

Roxas cackled, "Well, we did buy you earplugs for Christmas."

Zexion motioned for him to continue.

"So… then we met Xion. Well, I met her and introduced her and blah blah blah. Right after I met Xion, Axel demanded we date. Okay, not demand but we drunkenly agreed to start at least attempting to be monogamous after some mind blowing sex. It was nice for a bit. However, Axel started acting like a jealous twat. He kept demanding to know who I was hanging out with and got freaky possessive. He would sneak on my cellphone and check my email. I didn't know at the time but it was 'cause he was dealing with problems back home that he was kinda going crazy."

Demyx signed sadly, absently adding, "Yeah, I remember that."

"Axel… used to have a sister, too." Roxas's tone was hollow. "I never met her, but from the way he talks about her…"

"Ariel." Demyx glanced at Zexion. "I grew up with her and I've known her all my life. She was one of the kindest girls, ever. Beautiful on the inside and out, voice like an angel. When I realized I was gay she picked me up from the middle of nowhere and held me while I bawled for hours. She brought me ice cream and we sat by this river thing and we sang old country songs."

Zexion reached between them and twined his fingers between Dem's.

"Anyway, Ariel got really sick." Roxas said bitterly, his face scrunched with pain. "It was so sudden, too. Axel was freaking out all the time, he didn't know how to handle that kind of stress. We had this huge fight." Roxas clasped his hands together and curled down towards his lap, as if assuming the fetal position.

His voice grew quiet, "He had yelled at Xion and told her to stop talking to me. I got so defensive and cruel. I didn't know Ariel was dying, Axel never talked about that sort of thing. And I said such horribly shitty things to him. We almost split up. And then she passed away."

"Axel kind of broke for a while." Demyx squeezed Zexion's fingers, Roxas flinching with a pained gasp from the words. His eyes were dull, and Zexion knew that wasn't the full story.

Demyx noticed Roxas's dark expression and reminded the blond, "He was inconsolable. Roxas, It wasn't just because of your fight that he did what he did. Between his parents, and our town… there were so many things. You know that."

"I contributed to it, though." Roxas murmured, ashamed. "And that was heartbreaking enough to watch let alone live through."

Zexion had never heard that tone from the man before. Such desolation.

"Yes, it was. But then…" Demyx hedged.

"Then Sora came to town for a weekend. I wasn't particularly pleasant to be around either." Roxas scoffed. "And you had that gig at Jake's Supper Club, practically dragged us to it. I wanted to show Sora a good time, and I didn't think Axel would be there. I hoped he would, because I really wanted to talk with him. He'd been acting like a recluse. So anyway, I saw him across the bar and he looked just awful after what had happened. In the worst way. I can't even describe it."

Roxas leaned back and took a long gulp of his beer, his voice sounded raw as he plowed onward, "And I realized that I felt just like he did when I saw him, hurt and scared. I thought how stupid we were being and how… much…" Roxas scowled, "I realized how much I loved him and how I never wanted him to feel such pain, like when he thought _that_ was his only way out… and I was really drunk. Did I mention I was blitzed out of my mind? Sora kept feeding me shots. Ahem. So, yeah, next thing I knew I ran on the stage and grabbed the microphone from Demyx and told the whole fucking bar as loudly as I could that I loved Axel McKenna."

Zexion chuckled, "I wish I could've seen it."

"Fucking most humiliating moment of my life." Roxas exaggerated, "But it did the trick."

"Oh my god, if it hadn't been so wonderful to watch that I was speechless," Demyx giggled, "I would've been laughing on the floor. Axel fucking PRANCED up to the stage, threw Roxy over his shoulder and sped out of that bar as fast as he fucking could. It was perfect. So Korean soap opera."

Roxas was still frowning absently, "You know, Dem."

The musician calmed, "Hmmm?"

"It's going to be D day soon. This weekend, actually."

Zexion tilted his head, "Pardon?"

"Death Day," Demyx echoed. "We don't mark the day Ariel passed. We mark the day we buried her."

"December the first." Roxas confirmed. "I wonder if that's why Reno's here."

"Could be. But Ax goes back home for that." Demyx presumed.

Roxas brought his hand over his mouth, blue eyes unreadable with concentration. Then he suddenly snapped out of his reverie and animated, "I want a cigarette. I'll be right back."

After pulling his coat and shoes on he waved towards his friends, "Be right back."

The door clicked shut, Demyx and Zexion remaining quiet for a long beat.

Zexion relaxed and shifted so his cheek rested on Dem's shoulder. Demyx absently played with their joined fingers.

"What did Axel do?" Zexion whispered softly. "You said he broke, but from the look on Roxas's face it was something far worse."

Aqua eyes rested on Zexion's face, Demyx seemed to be considering something. The musician was actually thinking about how perceptive his lover was. Then he reached an arm around Zexion's waist and rested his chin atop Zexion's head. Demyx let his eyes flutter shut.

"Axel tried to kill himself." He whispered back, breath fanning slate hair. "He tried to OD on cough and cold medication. Thirty-five pills. Roxas was the one who found him and called 911."

Zexion wished he hadn't asked.

That night, as he lay curled around Dem's bare torso, he stayed awake much longer than usual. For almost two hours he replayed the conversation over and over. And he came to the conclusion that without Axel ever knowing it, Zexion was proud to be his friend. Because you would never guess from how Axel acted that he'd ever lived through such darkness. Everyone had bitter stories, Zexion reasoned, but not like these friends he cherished so immensely. Not like how they grew from those stories. Maybe that's what made them the people they were, he mulled, the memories that they all wished they could forget.

He was thankful Axel hadn't been able to kill himself.

Axel was strong for moving past that and thriving. So was Roxas. Especially Demyx though, Zexion thought triumphantly as the clock flashed three am. Especially his boyfriend.

Because Demyx was the brilliant. Demyx was the healthiest form of addictive drug for Zexion. Life without him was unfathomable.

Demyx rolled over in his sleep, hair scrunched from the pillow. Zexion kissed his hand, earning a flash of aqua eyes blearily open in his direction.

"I love you." Zexion commented, so quietly Dem barely heard him.

Demyx shifted closer, smacking his lips and nodding in a dream-haze, "Of course you do, buttercup. And now if you'd shower off the magic ponies so we can eat that watermelon together, I'd have everything."

Zexion ducked his head in the pillow, trying not to laugh aloud.


	11. The Family Situation

The Cogitare Bookstore

By DXM JUNKIE

**A/N:** This story is my addiction right now. I know I need to work on Indelible Memories and update that soon but… oh gosh this is just too much fun for me to write. I know plot-wise nothing terribly exciting has happened. So this chapter shall change that. Warning: this chapter is for mature audiences only.

Chapter Eleven: The Family Situation

That weekend Demyx asked Zexion to request off work. Marluxia wasn't happy to let him go free since they were the only two people employed at Cogitare and that meant he had to work alone, which was tediously boring. But after much coaxing Marly eventually caved. Roxas and Axel were apparently traveling to the latter's hometown, and Demyx wanted them to go along for moral support. Roxas seemed to have told Axel that Zexion knew about Ariel, and the red-haired man nodded his silent appreciation when Zexion showed up at his house with a suitcase in tow.

They took Axel's beat-down car early that Saturday morning, the duration of the ride almost tortuously silent. Axel wasn't acting his normal self, the usually spunky guy was obviously ten kinds of depressed. Roxas tried to break the mood by playing cheerful music or joke around but nothing seemed to work. Axel was in a funk, and what was worse was the fact the entire group knew he was justified to feel that way. They collectively didn't know how to help, which was blatantly painful for Roxas.

Axel and Dem's hometown was almost three hours away. It was a smallish community with friendly houses and sidewalks wrapping around family-owned shops. The kind of place where nothing ever happened, where high school students got married after graduation and started popping out offspring shortly thereafter.

As they were pulling around sharp corners in the quiet town, Zexion was deep in thought. He was thinking about his lover, and how this was the place he'd grown up. Now that he knew Roxas's story and Axel's, he was amazed to realize he knew next to nothing about Dem's own family. Demyx explained a few things to him; how he'd been viciously bullied in high school after he came out as gay and how he wasn't on good terms with his parents. Dem had said Axel was his only friend for many years and that when he applied for colleges he purposely picked liberal campuses where no one would know him. But Dem never elaborated about his mother and father. Zexion couldn't help wonder why.

The slate-haired man glanced towards the musician. Demyx's forehead was pressed up against the window, puffs of air fogging the glass. His fingers were curled around the case of his sitar which rested between his legs, aqua eyes trained on the scenery. Roxas fiddled with a CD case in the front, Axel had been chain smoking cigarettes like he'd die without the tobacco. Zexion normally detested that smell but he wasn't going to say anything since Axel was clearly smoking to calm his nerves.

Demyx noticed his blank stare after a moment and twisted to give him a small inquisitive frown.

"Is it strange to be back?" Zexion asked softly, needing to break the silence with some sort of comment.

Dem deflated, sighing deeply, "Heck yes it is."

Roxas shifted around to glance at the pair, "Where was your old house? Around this neighborhood?"

Dem scoffed, "House? I wish. That would've been a luxury. I grew up in a trashy trailer park called Shady Acres."

Zexion blinked, thinking now was a good time to ask, "Do your parents still reside here?"

Fingers brushed through a spiked Mohawk as Demyx gnawed on his lip and sharply replied, "Yeah, I think they do."

"We gonna visit them?" Roxas asked offhandedly.

Axel growled, "No fucking way. Not in a million years. If I see your fucking father I'm gonna beat the living shit out of him. And probably get arrested by doing so."

Zexion tensed unconsciously and tightly inquired, "What do you mean by that?"

Demyx gave Axel a warning glare, his gaze intense and unhappy. "I don't want to talk about it."

Zexion frowned, internally surprised at Dem's deflection of his question. Demyx had never refused to talk about something like this in such a blatant manner. Axel flicked on his turn single and pulled into a driveway of a medium sized apartment complex. His knuckles were white from clutching the steering wheel so tightly. Green eyes scanned across the parking lot with resignation.

"Home sweet home." Axel stated flatly. Demyx grunted at the comment, his face twisted bitterly with unspoken resentment.

For the first time since the pair started dating, Zexion was scared something very bad was going to happen that weekend. Even if they were only staying one night. When Roxas shifted to undo his seatbelt and the bookwork saw the expression on his face, he knew that the blond felt the same foreboding atmosphere.

Zexion for his part was speechless by the treatment the redhead received from his parents. He obviously took after his mother looks wise, with her unruly red hair and sharp cheekbones. But he had his father's piercing green eyes. Axel's parents barely spoke three words to him upon their arrival and made no move to associate with either Demyx or Roxas. It was as if they despised Axel for returning home, even if it was for something as important as the commemoration of his sisters Death Day.

Axel's old bedroom was astonishingly empty. There was a pull-out futon, cedar desk and light stand but no other decorations. No posters, memorabilia or any other mention that Axel had even been in the space before. Roxas chucked their sleeping bags in a corner before plopping on the carpeted floor, arms splayed behind him as he tried to mask how upset he was feeling.

Zexion was equally unsettled, it sat like bile in his stomach. He himself didn't have the greatest relationship with his family, but it was incomparable to the way Axel's mother had looked at her son. With anguish, disparity and most of all a disinclination to accept they were blood related. The hallways were bare of any mention Axel was their kin, there were pictures of Reno and Ariel but none of the middle child.

Axel absently toyed with his cell phone, cross-legged on the futon. Demyx had gone to use the restroom.

"…" Zexion didn't know what to say. He had so many questions he wanted to ask, but he didn't want to pry or make things any worse.

Axel finally groaned, "Jeeze Zexy, you don't have to look so happy to be here."

Zexion flinched, an apology on his tongue. He was interrupted by the redhead, "Yeah, my parents and I don't get along. Ever since Ariel's death they've been like this."

"Do they know about Roxas?" He hedged as delicately as he could manage. He was blindly assuming Axel's parent disliked him for his homosexuality.

Axel shook his head in negation, "No, but they know Demyx is gay. In high school they actually forbid me to hang out with him. Not that I listened, I try to block out bigoted commands."

Zexion glanced at Roxas, "So this is your first time here too, then?"

Roxas flopped on his back and his tone was laced with disgust, "Yep. And I fucking hate it already. I mean look at this room! They fucking threw all of Axel's old stuff away when he left."

Axel scooted forward to put his butt on the floor, hand reaching out to snag Roxas's fingers and clasp them between his own, "I'm alright Rox, don't worry 'bout me."

Roxas looked like he wanted to say something more, but refrained, cerulean eyes locked on Axel's face with dismay. Zexion gracefully pooled closer to them, patting Ax's shoulder in a comforting gesture. When Demyx returned he joined them on the floor. They sat like that for nearly two hours, huddled in a circle. Not saying a single word.

Dinner was an uncomfortable affair.

Axel insisted they go out to a local family diner because he didn't want eat at home, but every person who spotted the townies would glare in their direction. Especially at Demyx. Random people were whispering about them, pointing obviously. Some were trying to be discreet but failed. They inhaled the food in record time, Axel's face flushed with some unfathomable emotion. Even Demyx was now tense and shifty, any response he gave was distantly unaffected. When they arrived back at Axel's place it was still early, the sun hadn't even gone down yet.

Axel practically dragged the three up to a worn treehouse in the backyard of the apartment complex. The refuge was well hidden behind snow and Zexion would have never spotted the structure from the distance. There Axel pulled out a pipe and a bag of weed from his baggy pockets. Zexion was startled by how relieved Demyx appeared that Axel had brought the drug in the first place. They took turns inhaling as much of the smoke into their lungs as humanly possible, burning through a hefty chunk of the plant. It was Zexion's third time participating in this illegal activity, but he somehow knew that this would calm the group down. It was bitterly cold outside but the group didn't seem to care.

"Why does everybody act like that around you two?" Roxas queried as he passed the glass between them. Zexion was surprised Roxas didn't even know the full story.

Demyx and Axel glanced at each other before Dem hesitantly responded, "We weren't exactly popular here. This place isn't particularly full of fond memories, if you get my drift."

Axel flicked the lighter toward the end of another cigarette, "That's an understatement. Let's just say that Demyx is nothing but a faggot and I'm nothing but an aggressive criminal."

Demyx was staring at the wooden planks by his knees, tracing his fingers on their grooves while dourly adding, "Yeah, pretty much."

"We don't come back for a reason." Axel continued, "I left because not only do my parents despise the fact I was even born but also because this fucking hell-hole represents everything I never wanted in life. Everything I never want to be."

Zexion felt tears sting his eyes when Demyx added, his voice hollow and not-at-all sounding like his own. "And I left because I'd rather die then see my father again."

XXX

Before they went to sleep that night Zexion wasn't feeling any better about the situation. Demyx was half-ignoring him, and seemed to be battling with internal demons. Zexion had gone to the restroom to wash up before bed when Axel pulled him aside. He locked them in the small ugly-decorated bathroom, lanky limbs resting across the edge of the beige bathtub as he stared intensely at Zexion.

Zexion pushed the toilet lid down and sat beside him. He patiently waited for Axel to speak first, somehow knowing the redhead needed to think about what he was going to say.

"…" Axel pulled at his hair, eyes tortured. When he spoke it was barely above a whisper but his words were tinged with urgency.

"Listen, Zexion. I'm only going to tell you this once and we are never going to speak of it again. You got me? Never again. You can't tell Roxas this, promise me right here right now."

"…I promise." The bookworm wasn't quite sure why Roxas couldn't know, but accepted the terms at face value.

Axel's voice was raspy with strain, "Okay, good… This is about Demyx."

That certainly caught his attention.

"And Demyx's father." Axel added. The redhead leaned his back against the wall, pulling out his cell from his sweatshirt and turning the screen towards Zexion.

It was mug-shot of a scruffy looking man with aqua eyes and long dirty hair in an orange prison uniform. "I want you to memorize what this person looks like."

Zexion took the phone and peered closer at the image, "Okay, but why?"

"That is Demyx's father. And this is essential for you to know: if you see this man, if he tries to contact Demyx in any way whatsoever, you must immediately call the cops."

Zexion was flabbergasted, "Pardon?"

"…" Axel snagged the phone back.

Again he spoke so softly that Zexion could barely hear him. And the words nearly broke Zexion's heart.

"When Demyx was a child his father raped him repeatedly. He used Demyx for pornographic pictures and videos, even his mother knew about it and did nothing to stop him. That man just got out of prison three months ago, and we don't know where he's at. Dem assumes he back here. But you MUST NOT allow that man near him. No exceptions."

Zexion's mind was halted to a standstill. His brain wasn't comprehending that statement. And, unconsciously, he began to tear up for the second time that day. His breath hitched, and the salty tears started rolling down his cheeks. Axel obviously hadn't been expecting this reaction, and he panicked.

"Don't cry, dude!" Axel held his hands up, unsure what to do.

"Demyx was…" Zexion exhaled sharply, "Raped? By his _father?_"

"He doesn't talk about it. Probably never will. It's one of the numerous reasons Dem had such a hard time starting relationships before. And I'm pretty sure he's morbidly ashamed of it. He probably doesn't want you to know, doesn't want to say the words aloud. But I think you deserve to know." Axel elaborated.

Zexion's whole body was shaking, tears pouring down his cheeks as he shuttered. He wrapped his arms around himself and hide his face from Axel's view, mind racing atrociously.

Axel was quick to get up and pool his arms around Zexion, holding the smaller man tightly. It was the first time the pair had ever actually hugged, and would have been very weird for Zexion had he not been so distraught. The action brought little comfort.

"How can I hide that I know this from Demyx?" Zexion croaked against Axel's shoulder.

"Knowing you, I'm sure you can't."

"Then…"

"You'll figure it out, I know you will. You're too brilliant not to." Axel said affectionately as he pulled away. "And on that note, I also want to thank you for coming here. To visit Ariel's grave."

Zexion's eyes were bloodshot as he blearily nodded, "Of course. But how… how could I have not known this?"

"Because you are the second person besides the police to ever know the truth." Axel admitted. "I think Demyx knows I was going to tell you anyway, that's why he's been so quiet. He doesn't want you to hate him probably. Thinks if you knew it would disillusion you. What a dumbass."

Zexion let out a shaky laugh, the sound void of any amusement. "He really must be a dumb to ever assume I'd hate him for something beyond his control. Especially… this."

Roxas and Demyx were fast asleep when they returned to the bedroom. Zexion's throat felt hoarse. He pulled out his sleeping bag beside Demyx and stared at the sleeping musician. Just as he'd been thinking the other day, there were so many dark stories in this world. So many sordid tales. He couldn't fathom how Demyx had never hinted something that traumatic ever occurred in his life.

Zexion didn't know how he could possibly help anyone anymore.

XXX

The grave was one in a row of thousands, mostly hidden under the blanket of fluffy white powder. The stone was pure granite, words scripted elegantly across its surface. The sky above them was clear and blue, the wind biting and cold. Axel was clearing the tombstone off, snow plopping to the ground in chunks. Roxas held a gorgeous bouquet of roses in his arms, he was watching Axel work. Demyx hadn't spoken a single word all morning. His sitar case was braced across his back, he held the instrument aloft.

As Axel dipped his head, his fingers idly traced his sisters name.

Then, Demyx opened his mouth and began singing. His fingers were strumming chords that he'd long since memorized. It was the saddest most beautifully heartbreaking melody Zexion had ever heard. An old Christian hymn, the kind meant for a cheerful Sunday mass, not a gravesite. The musician's voice broke several times, his face flushing with unshed tears. Zexion sighed as he pulled out a book from his coat pocket, it was packed up in a plastic bag to prevent snow from getting the item wet.

As Demyx finished his song Roxas turned to Zexion. "What's that?"

"An old copy of The Little Mermaid." Zexion replied, voice hushed.

Axel blinked, openly stunned by the thoughtfulness, "How…?"

Zexion attempted a smile, "Any redheaded girl named Ariel is bound to love the little mermaid."

Zexion stepped forward and gently placed the tome alongside the roses. "I may have never known you Ariel," He told the grave below him, "But from the way Axel and Demyx talk about you, you've got to know that you're incredibly loved."

The group was silent as Zexion continued, "Demyx once told me that you picked him up from the middle of nowhere just to sing with him. I think you probably helped save him, and for that I am everlastingly grateful."

Axel chuckled, "Ariel would be cooing right now. She would have really liked you, she always tried to talk with the quiet kids at school. And she would have loved Roxas." Green eyes looked down at his boyfriend. "She would have loved to tell you all the embarrassing stories about me from when I was a kid. And she would've been first in line to celebrate when Demyx started dating Zexion."

Demyx's voice was pained as he added, "Yeah, you're right. She would have." Tears began spilling down his cheeks. "And we miss you every single day, Ariel."

The freezing wind rustled the petals of the crimson flowers, the color vivid against white snow. It was a memory that Zexion would revisit for the rest of his life. The four of them hunched over that grave, the expression on Axel's face.

There was far too much pain in this world. Way too much pain.


	12. The Insensitive Situation

The Cogitare Bookstore

By DXM JUNKIE

**A/N:** Because I wrote two chapters today, this one will be shorter than usual. I average about 3,500 words per chapter…. but meh. I had to post what I'd written.

Chapter Twelve: The Insensitive Situation

Axel was smoking a cigarette in the drivers seat of his car when Zexion crouched into the back and strapped his seatbelt over his shoulder. The redhead was acting calm again, he was idly watching the smoke wisp around the steering wheel. Roxas and Demyx were still inside the gas station just beyond, they'd stopped before heading home to get gas. Axel hadn't said goodbye to his family. Zexion figured they probably deserved such cold treatment.

Axel glanced at Zexion from the rear-view mirror, watching the man pull out a thick novel from his backpack.

"Thank you again, Zexion." Axel said quietly, earning his attention, "For what you said earlier. It… was cheesy, but still meant a lot to me."

"I did it for her, not you." Zexion retorted, his tone warm and friendly.

Axel couldn't help but crack a smile, "That's what's so great about you, though. You know, not once since Ariel died have either of my parents gone to her grave. And you never even met her but you brought her a gift. I'm sure if there is a heaven she's off reading that book right now."

Zexion sighed thoughtfully, glancing out the window. He could see Demyx purchasing some snack foods from inside the gas station. He knew Axel told him never to speak of it again, but he felt the urge to do so irregardless.

"He knows you told me, doesn't he." It was meant to come out as a question, but the answer was already obvious.

Axel took a deep drag from his cigarette, "Dem's sharp as a tack. 'Course he knows." Axel's eyes flickered towards Zexion again. "What are you planning on saying to him?"

"I haven't the slightest idea." Zexion admitted honestly.

The pair were heading outside now, back towards the car. Demyx was still withdrawn, his face passive when he normally would've been grinning.

"You'll think of something." Axel assured him.

"I hope that bastard suffers for what he's done." Zexion said with menacing spite before the pair opened the doors and clambered in, earning an amused snort from Axel.

Demyx handed Zexion a diet soda, the slate-haired man nodding his thanks. Roxas was chewing some gum, snapping small bubbles between his lips. They left the town as quickly as possible, each becoming more relaxed as they got farther away. Zexion never wanted to go back.

Demyx reached between them to grab Zexion's wrist, he immediately flipped the palm of his hand over to twine their fingers. Demyx watched Zexion read for most of the drive, earnestly wondering what was going to happen next between them. Especially now that Zexion knew the disgusting truth. Zexion wasn't really reading attentively, however. He was pondering something else. How when they started their relationship, Demyx had always been so honest about his thrill with Zexion being a virgin. Zexion knew for a fact that most people would've felt inconvenienced, and had worried about his inexperience. But now… Now he knew why Demyx had done so.

Demyx felt that way because not once, in his entire life, had he been truly innocent. And that fact scared him to his core.

XXX

Zexion made it a point to stay overnight with Demyx that Sunday despite the fact that he needed to work early the next morning. He hadn't even bothered to ask for permission, he would've done so even if Demyx had said he needed to be alone. Demyx was thankful for the gesture, though, and would never refuse him. They were pulling off their snow boots at the front door of his place when the musician finally felt like he needed to explain himself.

"I'm sorry I was cold to you this weekend. I hope you can forgive me." Demyx muttered despondently.

Zexion shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant, "It is quite understandable that you would be emotional during such circumstances. There is nothing to forgive."

Demyx walked towards the couch, collapsing atop it face first after he dropped his bag to the floor. Zexion followed and perched nearby. They were silent for a long moment, each mulling over a million things at once.

Finally Demyx rolled over so he was facing Zexion, his cheek near the man's thigh. He ducked his chin and refused to glance up as he spoke, "Axel told you about my father, didn't he."

"Yes." Was Zexion's simple answer.

Demyx felt like someone had shoved a rock down his throat, his voice was pained as he implored shamefully, "…And?"

Zexion crouched down so that both of his arms were hugging Demyx's waist at an awkward angle. He gently stroked his lovers hair, breathing in his fresh scent before nuzzling his cheek. He chastely kissed Dem's closed eyelids, feeling the wetness on his lips.

After thumbing several tears away, Zexion started repeating like a mantra, "I love you."

Demyx's fingers were clenched tightly to the fabric of Zexion's hood, he couldn't talk, he didn't know what he would say. The memories were replaying in his mind, the dirty filthy hands touching his body and the pain like he was being ripped open. And his father's cruel laughter as he strapped him tight to that bed in their trailer, the camera light blinking.

Zexion was shaking, he couldn't help it. '_God dammit,_' he thought pitifully, '_I've cried quite enough this weekend._'

Demyx was startled when the first thick drops hit his face, his breath hitched when he looked into Zexion's eyes. He'd never seen the man cry before. Those eyes were telling him with such sincerity that he was so sorry something like that had ever happened. Zexion was crying for him, not out of pity, but out of unabashed concern.

"I swear I will protect you from those fucking people." Zexion whispered in a hurry, swearing uncharacteristically, "I swear it, Demyx. For as long as I fucking live you will never feel pain like that, ever, EVER again!"

Zexion buried his face into Dem's chest helplessly, "I won't let anyone hurt you, not you. Not you… Never you."

Demyx relaxed into the embrace, they were both holding one another so fiercely that it made his chest hurt. But it was a good kind of hurt, the kind that told him he was loved. He tried to not think about anything, tried to make his thoughts stop and only focus on the man above him.

Demyx replied in such a sad voice, over and over until he felt like Zexion was sick of hearing it, "I know you will. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I just couldn't. I trust you, Zexion. I love you. I'm so, _so_ sorry."

When Demyx profusely apologized and it terrified Zexion. The bookworm knew that Demyx blamed himself for what had happened, and felt like he'd deserved it as some delusional and ill-perceived consequence. And that thought only made him sob harder like a baby.

XXX

Zexion researched Demyx's father the next morning at work on his laptop. He made sure the screen was out of view from Marluxia. The records stated that his father was found guilty of six counts of child pornography, three counts of endangering the wellbeing of a child, and two counts of sexually assaulting a minor. His sentence? A mere eight years because he appealed with good behavior. Zexion felt like they should've just lopped his dick off. Then he would never touch any innocent kid again.

Marluxia was already used to Zexion's occasional sullen behavior, having worked with the guy for such a long time. But he was a little surprised by how depressed the man looked when he'd shown up for work. Zexion obviously hadn't slept well, his face was sallow and he had deep creases under his eyes. The pink-haired boss wanted to ask about it, but he inwardly assumed Zexion would never tell him the truth. He also understood that this somehow had to do with Demyx, and the two day vacation they'd taken.

Being Marluxia though, and despite knowing Zexion might fib the man was still going to ask. Because that's just what he did.

"Did anything happen this weekend?"

Zexion glanced over the screen of his laptop to dully respond, "No, not particularly."

"Yeah, bullshit."

"How about it's none of your business?"

"How about I don't fucking care? Where did you go this weekend?" Marluxia was dead serious.

Zexion shifted in his seat, "To visit the grave of Axel's sister."

Marluxia gaped in astonishment, "That's depressing. From how badly you wanted to get out of work I thought you'd be off to a romantic resort with your man."

The bookwork snapped his laptop shut, frustrated, "Yeah, well it really wasn't like that. So back off."

Marluxia shook his head in concern, "Zexion, are you sure you're okay?"

He was startled by the look of agony that crossed his friends face. The man was miserable. Normally he was so adept at masking his feelings, but he could read that look instantly. Even as Zexion said he was fine Marly knew he was lying. He rushed forward to sit near Zexion.

"Look, I know we aren't the two best of friends in the whole fucking world and that jazz, but if something is bothering you this much Zexion it's best to not hold it in." Marluxia hedged.

Zexion glared at the floor wordlessly, knowing he could never say such words aloud. He didn't even want to think them.

"Please confide in me," Marly pleaded before admitting, "I know you don't want to talk about it, but… I'm not very partial to seeing you like this."

"You're too fucking nosy!" Zexion spat. His grey eyes went wide before his expression became defeated, "No, sorry, sorry. I didn't mean that."

Zexion brought his hands to tangle in his hair, he felt physically disgusted when he thought about Demyx's father. Then he glanced up at Marly, who was patiently waiting with his face palming one hand.

"If I tell you this, Marluxia, and you **ever** tell another human being for as long as you live, I swear to god," Zexion stated clearly, voice deadly venomous. "I will quit here the next day and never talk to you for the rest of my life."

Marluxia's eyes widened, he'd never heard Zexion speak like that before. Whatever this was, it was very bad.

"Um, before you tell me-" Marly insisted, "I'm not going to have to go to court for anything, right?"

Zexion's face was blank.

"Like, if you accidentally killed someone and need me as your alibi…"

"No, it's nothing like that."

"Then, certainly I won't. This doesn't leave the bookstore, Zexion, you have my word. And I'll never tell anyone, especially Demyx, that you told me this." Marluxia pretended a clasp was zippering his lips.

Zexion gaped at the unexpected comment, "How did you know it was about Demyx?"

"Psssh, please. C'mon, seriously? When do you ever get more worked up then when something bad is going on with that boy?" Marly rhetorically asked.

Zexion cringed, glancing around with an uneasy gaze to make sure the store was empty of customers.

"When we were back in Demyx and Axel's home town…" Zexion started slowly, "I learned something I really wish I hadn't. Something dreadful."

"Something about Demyx?"

"Yes, something about his past. Something that he couldn't help. I can't stop thinking about it."

"What, like he had orgy's with his redheaded buddy? Weeeelll, I wouldn't get too worked up-"

"No." Zexion interrupted, spatting with disgust, "It's nothing like that, either."

Marly pursed his lips.

"Demyx, the man I am sincerely in love with…" The slate-haired man's tone was inimitably bitter. "Was repeatedly raped as a child. By his father."

Marluxia was floored. Stunned. Speechless. Aghast.

"…"

Zexion stood up so quickly his laptop dropped to the ground, tears yet again shimmering in his eyes.

"There. Are you glad I told you now? Cause I'm not. I shouldn't have…. _Fuck._"

Zexion sped out of the room without another word. Marluxia was still too shocked to do anything but sit utterly still. He knew he should've stopped his friend but… he just couldn't move. All he could think was, '_Wow, I really shouldn't have asked. That was probably really insensitive._'


	13. The Truthful Situation

The Cogitare Bookstore

By DXM JUNKIE

_A/N: Well here it is. My final night in the town I adore. I don't know about you folks, but I put a lot of effort into making my college years memorable. Going abroad to Japan, pulling wicked pranks on friends, getting badass internships and cum laude honors upon graduation. It was all kinds of epic. And now I'm leaving that mindset and moving towards the next phase in life. Fuccccck. I'm scared. But hesitantly confident. This last weekend I had over forty people attend my final house party, some of which drove over five hours just to hang out with me. And of course, as per tradition, we played this drinking game my ex-girlfriend and I invented called, "Fuck, It's an Unsafe Zone!"_

_After that we went out to the lake for fireworks and I saw hundreds of people I knew. We enjoyed a small meteor shower and I got so many hugs. I officially finished my university bucket list. Then I went home and made another. The first thing I'm going to do in the next week is revamp my resume, cover letter and online portfolio. The next is to create a huge photo album of the friends I love._

_Just a heads up that it'll probably be a while until my next chapter is going to be published. So I hope you enjoy. And please review. Cause that stuff makes me so darn happy._

**Chapter Thirteen:** The Truthful Situation

Axel sighed as he leaned against his bed frame. It was a freezing Monday night. Demyx was perched beside his sock-covered feet, expression despondent as he gazed at the floor, not really seeing anything.

It had been a long stressful day for both. The normally cheerful and snarky set of best buddies were acting anything but themselves at the current juncture. They were too tired to put any effort into faking smiles, and since they were close enough not to care they simply didn't. Demyx treasured Axel as friend for precisely that reason, among countless others.

"I'm sorry I told him about your father, Dem." Axel stated needlessly after a long pause, feeling guilty as he passed his glass pipe over to the musician.

"I figured you would, anyway." Demyx murmured after sucking in some smoke. He'd been indulging too much recently; after this he would make a conscious effort not to smoke for a while.

But he needed to get his mind off of things. He couldn't do so irregardless.

"I probably wouldn't have been able to tell him myself."

Axel turned towards the frosty window. It was snowing out again, thick puffs of the powder falling prettily on the yard. He could see his neighbor's had already brought out their Christmas lights. Damn, those fake plastic deer were ugly and unnecessary.

"How did that conversation go?" Axel asked despite the fact he already knew the answer. He was mindlessly flicking his lighter, eyes trained on the flame.

Dem groaned, flopping on his backside as he exhaled deeply from his mouth, "I don't really know. He was upset. I'm not sure what he thinks or feels right now."

"Well, he did cry when I told him."

"He cried in front of you?"

Demyx blinked in astonishment, trying to imagine Zexion so upset that he'd cry. It was a little unbelievable that he'd even done so while around the musician, let alone in front of Axel. He hadn't know they were that close.

Axel's expression dropped, "Yeah, it was scary to watch. I couldn't have pictured his face like that even if I tried. He acted like he didn't want to believe me and sobbed."

Demyx sat up again and twisted around so his back was resting on the same wall as Axel's. He then grabbed Axel's arm and gave him a side hug, trying to wordlessly comfort him. They'd always been cuddly and affectionate, mostly because they'd always dubbed themselves '_heterosexual life partners_.' They loved each other wholeheartedly and platonically.

Of course they'd tried dating for a very short while in their senior year of high school, but each understood that they were too alike to really work longterm. Back then they'd been clinging to one another for comfort, since they had no other friends. They'd been undeniably lonely, and had sought attention in the only place they could find it, with each other.

Most teenagers inevitably experiment, and both boys were clearly gay, so the pair had practiced on one another sexually while growing up. Numerous times. They were each other's first in regards to… pretty much a lot of stuff.

Axel was sixteen when he learned the secret of Demyx's parents. About his tar-covered past and the brutal rapes. He'd already fooled around with Demyx prior to that, and he was ashamed to think he might have also raped his dearest friend. Or taken advantage of him when he was vulnerable. He'd dragged Dem aside in tears to beg forgiveness when he realized what he'd done; but for Dem there was nothing to forgive. Axel had never and would never hurt him. He informed the redhead that during the times they'd slept together and fooled around, he'd felt nothing but comfortable pleasure.

They'd always decided to tell one another everything without holding back since they'd both done several drugs in their day and didn't have the best short-term memory. If they lied or tried to hide something, they often forgot they'd done so. And this was why Demyx knew Axel would tell Zexion about his father. This was why he couldn't be mad at his oldest companion, who'd so obviously just done so to help him out.

"I don't blame you for telling him." The musician sounded sullen but honest. "Have you also told Roxas?"

"Of course not." Axel replied firmly. "I told Zexion because you're dating him. I have never told anyone else, not even Rox."

Demyx smiled cautiously, twining his fingers on his lap. "I give you permission to tell Roxas."

Axel's mouth dropped, "Hell no-"

"It's okay. Really." Demyx shushed as he shut his eyes in concentration. "I'm not afraid he'll hate me for it. Roxas is too kind for that. I used to think people might be disgusted, but then Zexion came along."

A thin red eyebrow quirked, "I thought you said he was upset."

"He was. Who wouldn't be? He kept repeating that he loved me and would protect me." Demyx hummed affectionately. "He truly is one of the best people I've ever met."

Axel couldn't help but snort in amusement as he exhaled a lung full of smoke.

Demyx scowled at his friend and retorted, "What? You don't think so?"

Axel chuckled capriciously as he forked the pipe over. "Actually, I for once agree with you. Zexion won me over by what he did for Ariel. We both know she would have geeked out if he'd given that book to her when she was alive. Plus, that dude mellows you the fuck out."

Demyx sighed suddenly as a thought struck him. "I also told one of Zexion your secrets. So if you have any residual guilt; we're already even."

The redhead tensed, "I thought you said you weren't mad! And what did you tell him?"

"Remember like a week ago, when Reno was in town? Roxas went over to Zexion's place."

Demyx waited a beat for Axel to interrupt and exclaim how Roxas had punched Reno. The redhead remained oddly silent.

"So, Zexion asked Roxas how you got together and we had a couple beers. That's the night he learned about Ariel and-"

"You told him I tried to off myself." Axel grunted.

Demyx cringed, "Rather, he already knew something dreadful had happened. Roxas still get's upset when he talks about what happened, he won't even say the word suicide anymore. He only vaguely refers to it as -that-."

Axel frowned before sighing deeply and looking at Dem's face. "We're square."

"Zexion told me the next morning that he was proud to be your friend." Demyx beamed, both aware of his weak attempt at changing the mood. "He said something along the lines of-"

Demyx held one finger aloft and talked with a scholarly air, "'Axel is abrasive and undeniably opinionated, but he's also inconceivably brave. Surviving during such dark times must be difficult to accomplish. And Axel has subsequently thrived and found happiness which is admirable.'"

"Roxas is totally right, dude. You are starting to sound just like him." Axel tried to push aside the swell of pride he received from that compliment.

He'd been around Zexion enough to understand:

A) That man was shy as shit.

B) Zexion didn't throw compliments around carelessly.

And C) Zexion actually said those words. Which was all kinds of epic.

Because the aqua set of eyes belonging to his best friend were sparkling with admiration. Demyx was proud of him, too.

"Admitttt ittttt!" Demyx cooed, poking his index finger at Axel's chin. "You'd be oh-so-wonely without Zexion around."

Axel swatted his hand away, pushing at Dem's shoulder with his free hand. They began wrestling with one another, Axel easily overpowering the smaller musician. Axel managed to pin Demyx down on his bed and started tickling the boy all around his waist. Demyx was obnoxiously giggling, trying to kick at Ax's hip with his bare feet. Axel forced Dem's hands above his head and locked his wrists against the pillow, they were both panting from the effort.

The door opened across the bedroom.

Roxas stared blankly at the bed, noting Axel's arms wrapped around Demyx. His eyes trailed over Dem's hips, which were tightly aligned with Axel's crotch. The pair stilled, glancing over with guilty smiles. Roxas rolled his baby blues and strode forward to push Axel off Dem and plop down atop Dem's lap instead. Demyx's lungs became restricted under the weight.

The redhead chuckled at his lover, voice raspy, "Hi, Roxy."

Roxas shoved Axel against the wall and whined, "I hate it when you call me that."

Demyx was trying to squirm away, a tiny bit embarrassed to be caught in such a promiscuous position with the blond's boyfriend. "Ummmm…."

Roxas glared absently down into aqua eyes. "You know, I could have freaked out when I got in here. If I didn't know how much you obsess over Zexion, I'd have suspected you were flirting with one another."

Axel wailed, "What, so you'd think I'd cheat?"

Roxas's voice was venomous, "More like I don't trust other people around you. You better not be rolling in bed with anyone else, Ax. The only reason I'm not about to murder you is that I already agreed Demyx is the one exception."

Axel beamed at Roxas's terrifying scowl with a satisfied grin, non-plussed, "You are so darn ADORABLE when you're jealous."

Roxas's demeanor turned menacing, he lifted his fist. "Would you like to repeat that?"

Demyx cringed because damn, Roxas could be downright intimidating. Only Axel seemed to be immune to that inimitable razor-blade glare of fury, wrath and that I'm-going-to-poke-yo-fuckin-eyeballs-out-with-a-fuckin-toothpick. The first time Demyx saw Roxas furious with him, he'd wanted to cry because he'd been so scared.

Lesson learned that day? Never piss off an introvert.

The group eventually ended up in the downstairs kitchen after smoking a bit more of the illegal plant. Axel microwaved hot pockets while Roxas made organic green tea. They ventured to the porch to have a cigarette and drink their steaming beverages. Demyx didn't usually smoke tobacco but he allowed himself the pleasure that evening. Luckily the back patio was heated during the winter months so they didn't need to pile into their winter gear. The snow was piling higher in the backyard, they'd gotten almost twelve inches of snow that day. Axel didn't want to think about shoveling his driveway and sidewalk the next day. He'd probably beg Roxas to help.

Demyx dipped out after their smoke, mentioning that he was going to walk Zexion home from work. He'd brought his car over, but the snow was too thick for him to pull back out into the street. Axel's place was only a short hike to Cogitare. The blond mentioned for Dem to tell Zex he said hullo, and to remind the bookworm that his shipment with a very wonderful hard-cover Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy set should be arriving the next day. He'd be around.

Immediately after the door was shut, Axel invaded Roxas's usual personal space bubble and they cuddled across his couch under a warm blanket. The blond absolutely refused to PDA around others (unless it was necessary or he was too intoxicated to care). Roxas's shoulders were tense because the student had been working doubles with finals just around the bend. They recently hadn't had time to spend many nights together like this. Axel treasured when he could enjoy the Roxas that never got to be seen around anyone else.

Axel pressed his lips across his boyfriend's temple, slender fingers pressing against the tight knots. He massaged down a shoulder blade, acid green eyes trailing upward absently.

He was thinking about what Demyx had told him earlier. He wondered if he should say anything, especially on one of the rare nights Roxas could relax. Roxas picked up the remote and flipped the TV on.

Yet, Axel reasoned, Roxas was a lot closer with Zexion then he was. The poor bookstore employee was probably still distraught after learning the truth. Roxas might be able to help Zexion in a way that neither he nor Demyx could ever accomplish.

"Hey Rox?"

Roxas was flipping channels absently, not really caring about any of the programs.

"Can we talk for a bit?" Axel asked hesitantly.

Something about the tone of his voice made Roxas turn to Axel, he deftly shut the television off. "Is something wrong?"

"Well, sort of. Have you noticed Demyx acting strange lately?" He pressed. Fuck these conversations were so hard to start.

Roxas thought about this, pressing his index finger to his lips. "A little depressed. Because of Ariel, I thought. He seems to be bouncing back from it."

"Well, it's true that Demyx is still… upset and disheartened about Ariel's death. He hasn't processed it, really. He idolized her."

Roxas sighed, hand absently tracing Axel's arm. He inwardly knew that Axel was equally upset at Ariel's grave, he was just more adept at hiding it.

"There is something else that happened during the trip. Something that you won't want to know about." Axel's tone was tight.

Roxas bit his lip, his gut dropping. "Okay…?"

Axel ducked his chin, "I had to tell Zexion something this weekend that I really didn't want to. For Demyx's safety and mental stability. And today Dem told me that it was okay to tell you, also."

Roxas frowned, unsettled and unsure where this conversation was heading. He didn't like that expression on Axel's face, it reminded him too much of when he'd found the man collapsed on the floor with a packet of pills beside him.

Green eyes narrowed, he was trying not to tear up and get overly emotional.

"And I honestly don't really want to tell you, Roxas, because it's so fucking disgusting. I don't want to say the words aloud again. I love you too much, and don't want…_you_…" Axel hesitated. "But you deserve to know, and I think you can help Zexion in some way after hearing this."

"Axel, you're starting to scare me." Roxas replied quietly, amazed by his ability to keep his voice even. "What is it?"

Axel turned, locking eyes with his lover. He took a deep breath, trying to steel himself. "When Demyx was a kid his father raped him multiple times."

Roxas's breath hitched, his mouth dropping in sincere shock. Cerulean eyes reflected disbelief.

"His father filmed him for child porn." Axel hissed, knowing that he'd tell Roxas the full story which he could never say to Zexion.

"He allowed strangers to gang rape him when he was as young as seven years old. He would sometimes tie Demyx up during summer vacation and not let him free for WEEKS. I learned all this shit a lot later on. He'd been living with his mother and his father's prison trail was starting. When he told me the truth, every… little detail…"

Roxas feeling like the air was stolen from him as Axel choked, "I cried. Bawled my eyes out like a baby. Ariel was so worried when I got home." Axel cringed, "But Demyx refused to tell her the truth and I never betrayed that trust. He'd already come out as gay, but he'd never even wanted me to know. Back then, I'd accidentally found out. She died without ever knowing what happened. I'm thankful for that."

Axel turned, "Demyx must trust you implicitly, Rox. For him to even allow me to tell you in the first place."

Roxas was speechless.

"I'd known Demyx all my life but I didn't fucking find this out until I was a teenager." Axel sounded ashamed of himself.

After a thought seemed to strike him, he added contemptuously, "That bastard has been in prison for a long time, but he just got out on good behavior."

"So, when you said you'd beat up his father…" The facts were finally clicking into place.

"It's true. I would." Axel responded darkly, cracking his knuckles by Roxas's shoulder. "And I had to tell Zexion about him because we were in town. If that pathetic man tries to contact Demyx, I don't know how he'd react. I'm afraid he'd go off the deep end."

Roxas was silent, his mind racing. His fingers tightened unconsciously around the blanket.

"I'm assuming Zexion didn't take it very well." Roxas stated blankly.

"..."

Roxas shifted, burying his face into Axel's chest. Axel squeezed the smaller man with his long arms, still feeling a little sick.

"I'll talk to Zexion." Roxas whispered. "But I'm not sure what to say."

"Zexion wasn't sure, either. How to tell Demyx he knew."

"You didn't ask Dem before telling Zexion this?" Roxas gasped incredulously.

"Nope."

"That's kind of awful, Axel." Roxas reprimanded.

"More or less awful then when you told Zexion that Dem was gay, in lust and stalking him?" Axel pointed out with a snort.

Roxas pulled away, hurt. Axel knew how guilty he still felt for hurting the musician's feelings. He motioned to get to his feet but Axel snatched his wrist and held him down firm. Roxas tried to free himself, but Axel was a lot more powerful then he was. Axel twisted Roxas around so that he was facing him again.

"Dem and I are even. He told Zexion I tried to kill myself." Axel informed him.

The blond scowled, resting on his knees over Axel's lap and crossing his arms stubbornly.

"You guys have a fucked up version of tallying the score." Roxas seethed.

Axel blinked, "Are you really angry?"

"Fuck yes!"

Roxas bit his tongue, amending, "But not at you. For now."

"I understand how you feel." Axel mentioned simply. When Roxas peered into his eyes he knew Axel was correct in that assessment. He understood perfectly.

"Roxas?"

"…" Roxas tried to maintain his glower. That effort lasted for all of point five seconds.

"I think that you're the best thing that ever happened to me."

Roxas couldn't help it. He never could. He inwardly melted like ice cream in the fucking desert, bending to wrap his arms around Axel's neck. Axel had the unique ability to piss him the hell off one moment and make him weak in the knees the next. Roxas echoed equally corney words into the cusp of Axel's ear.

Then the blond absently frowned, "Poor Demyx."

Axel sounded amused as he continued. "Dem told me that Zexion was initially upset. But kept telling him how much he loved him. He got all knightly and said he would protect him."

The redhead paused, suddenly remembering, "Oh, and I owe you five bucks cause Demyx was using all this extravagant vocabulary earlier. He does sound exactly like Zex. He told me about this awesome compliment Zexy had said about me."

"Told you so." Roxas retorted, "And what was the compliment?"

Roxas was more than ready to allow Axel to shamelessly boast about himself.

He adored when Axel ranted about how awesome he was. Not many people knew how inconceivably deep the cuts in that poor man's heart had been. Or what he looked like when he broke apart completely. Roxas did know. Most people perceived Axel to be a very arrogant person. They often thought that about him also, that he was a cold, cruel sort of guy.

But things are not always as they appear on the surface. Both Roxas and Axel had been chalk full of cuts smarting with salt; they'd always managed to lick each other's wounds.

He smiled as Axel continued, "Zexion said I was brave. And how he's proud to be my friend. Tee hee. We both know what a big stick up the butt Zexion usually is," Axel joked, the couple knowing he wasn't being serious. "And hahaaaa, he like totally hated me when he first met me."

Roxas rolled his eyes, "Yeah, I'm sure you've easily forgotten how rude you acted back then."

Axel affected his best puppy dog pout, "But Roxaaaaaas, he's proud of me."

"You're just fishing for compliments."

"But Roxa-"

Roxas cut him off by firmly covering his mouth. He opened his lips and headily kissed his boyfriend, trying to escape the painful thoughts from earlier. They made love that night for the millionth time, and they were far more gentle with each other then usual. Roxas topped, making sure to pleasure Axel in the way he liked. Their skin tingling and sweaty against one anthers, their tongues dancing out precariously.

Roxas had recently learned something he would never regret. He'd become verbally affectionate with Axel, and the repercussions were perfect. Because Axel never looked happier when he told him he adored him. When he held him close, whispering how perfect the man was despite his imperfections.

The blond didn't regret learning about Dem, despite how sordid that truth became. Despite falling asleep in Axel's arms, his favorite place, he was worried. Because what would he say to Zexion the next time he saw him? And how were things ever going to revert back to normal?

Roxas clutched Axel's bare arm, feeling his warm breath on the sensitive back of his neck. He absently trailed his lips down the skin before him, eyes trailing to the window. It was still snowing.

It honestly felt like winter was never going to end.


	14. The Full Throttle Situation

The Cogitare Bookstore

By DXM JUNKIE

Chapter Fourteen: The Full Throttle Situation

_A/N: I've actually hoarded this for a while, since I first moved up north. It's been boring as hell at my new house- sometimes I go four-wheeling, sometimes kayaking and sometimes I just sit on the porch to tan and read (I've counted. I have 1,413 books in my bedroom).… but as soon as winter hits it's gonna suck. The highway up to my Dad's is so remote that it's rarely towed. Which means if I end up here during a snowstorm I'll be all alone. And still bored. On that cheery note, this chapter will resolve all the tension from the previous chapters. Rated M for mansex._

The storm outside was raging and frigid, the wind blowing harshly in all directions. It had been snowing heavily nonstop all afternoon, requiring Zexion to keep chipping away at ice so the front door wouldn't become frozen shut. That had happened the year prior, and they'd accidentally broken the frame and forked over a grand to replace it in the spring. Cars were driving slow in the slush past the front windows, the television in the break room stating several serious accidents occurred on the interstate. Depressing impersonal news was the last thing he needed, so Zexion shut the TV off and hunkered down with a steaming cup of coffee and a novel. This managed to distract him for all of twenty minutes. His mind kept returning to Demyx, he couldn't help himself.

Luckily Marly wasn't scheduled to work right now, he'd left shortly after Zexion's outburst. Things between himself and Marluxia were still tense. He wasn't as much furious with the man for getting him to talk; more with himself for actually biting the bait. Marly wouldn't meet his gaze and seemed to feel guilty. Which he should, Zexion glowered at the text in his book, flipping the cover shut and pushing it away in disgust. He felt enough guilt for both of them times infinity. He told Marluxia about Demyx's father, an event his lover was ashamed occurred and haven't even fully informed him about; even after Axel stated he was the third person to know.

He knew he ought to be heading home soon and should close the store early due to the weather. Zexion was almost certain that they wouldn't open shop tomorrow and that most of the city would be shut down because of the roads. The university already stated classes were cancelled, along with the primary high schools in the area. He idly wondered what Demyx was doing.

Then he debated leaving early for a long minute. Marluxia would be angry for not keeping with store hours. But Zexion wasn't too afraid of pissing him off at the moment.

The large clock beside the register rang nine PM. It was Monday night, so Cogitare usually stayed open until 9:30.

But what would half an hour really change? Nobody in their right mind was shopping anyway, not with the snowstorm outside. As Zexion counted the register and went to lock the door, Demyx came clambering through the ally wrapped up in his hefty winter coat. The bell chimed cheerfully and the noise sounded out of place on the dreary night. Zexion noticed his cheeks were flushed from the wind.

"Hey Zexy." Demyx greeted, panting from exertion. "Darn is it hard to walk anywhere right now, hah, that snow is seriously a million inches deep. I had to prance like a deer."

Zexion strode forward, pressing the palms of his hands to Demyx's chaffed face, trying to warm him up. His skin was cool to the touch. Thick lashes fluttered aqua eyes shut, Zexion leaning over to press a chaste kiss on pouty lips.

"I didn't know you'd be stopping by tonight." Zexion stated passively, "I was about to close. Perhaps we should travel to my place together?"

"Sure." Dem nodded, glancing out the window. "Ugh, it's so awful out. I texted you earlier, but I guess you didn't get it. I was over at Axel's place and my car got stuck in the snow so I figured I'd drop by since you guys don't usually close for another half hour."

Zexion lead Demyx to the back of the store, pouring him the leftover coffee from the pot. Demyx sat down and took several sips, blowing at the drink. Zexion dropped across him, feeling awkward. Demyx seemed to feel the same; he kept stealing glances at him out of the corner of his eye. It was a nostalgic gesture, the same look he'd given him back when they'd barely known one another.

Demyx squirmed. "I gave Axel permission to tell Roxas about my father."

Zexion's expression was unreadable as Demyx continued, "And I told Axel we were even 'cause I'd already spilled about his suicide attempt."

"…" Zexion cringed, feeling ashamed of himself. He knew he had to tell Demyx what he'd done, even if it probably wasn't going to go over well.

"I also have something to confess…" The bookworm hesitated, shifting unhappily in his seat.

Demyx gave a sad smile. "You told Marluxia, didn't you?"

Zexion's mouth dropped in shock, his head double-taking fast to stare at Demyx in astonishment. How did this man always know?

Demyx brought his knuckles to rest under his chin, he didn't appear angry in the least. "I figured you might. And I also figured you'd feel guilty about doing so. But it's okay. You and Marluxia are best friends, so he's the one exception."

"I am most certainly NOT best friends-"

"Yes, you are." Dem finally cracked a larger smile. "Don't lie."

Zexion couldn't help but pout, his boyfriend suddenly turning serious.

"Hey, Zexion?"

"Yes?"

"Let's go back to your house and make love."

Zexion blushed, brain screaming how that was the best idea he'd heard all week. They hadn't been intimate since before Ariel's Death Day. But he also didn't want Dem to think that sex was the only thing on his mind… he was a little too busy fantasizing to respond.

Demyx immediately noticed his hesitation and felt his heart drop to his stomach. Zexion was treating him differently now that he knew. Just as Dem feared he might.

"You're not…" Demyx wrapped his arms around himself, Zexion's attention returned to reality. "Disgusted by me, now you know, right?"

Zexion animated dramatically, offended, "Of course not! How could you even suggest such a thing!"

Demyx leaned across the table after scooting his coffee out of the way, his eyes held tinged and pleading. "Then, please. I want to."

"…"

"I know that you won't hurt me, and that when we're together I feel so much better." Dem admitted, trying not to sound whiny. "And besides, I've been kind of waiting for the right time to go all the way with you. We haven't really gotten a chance… since we deflowered this back room of Ca-gi-ta-re."

Dear god, Zexion thought, blood pooling down to his groin. How did this man always manage to be so perfect?

Zexion stood dramatically, Demyx shifting away in surprise. The bookworm quickly ran around the back of the break room to snag his jacket, shut off the lights, and drag Dem from his seat and out the back door without another word. Their coffees were still half-full when they locked the shop. The musician glanced over to sneak a peak of Zexion's shadowed face as their hands swung between them. He was red as a tomato. Demyx tried to keep up the entire walk back to Zexion's since the man seemed to be in a rush, but his flat was thankfully only one block away.

The moment they entered his apartment Zexion was already dragging Demyx towards his bedroom while pulling off his jacket and boots on the white carpeting, uncaring if they dirtied his floor. He shoved Demyx down to his bed and clambered atop him, their faces inches away and their breath fanning harshly. The only sound in the room was of his clock ticking. Demyx had an eyebrow quirked in amusement, obviously enjoying Zexion's enthusiasm.

Zexion felt a little amazed at his own actions, the last thing he wanted to do was appear forceful. His fingers brushed along Demyx's face, over his lips and through his hair.

"I could never be disgusted. The thought of being disgusted by you is repulsive enough." Zexion whispered. "So do refrain from suggesting that ever again."

Demyx peered into his eyes, "I won't."

Their lips met, brushing wetly. Tongues slid across one another, the action gentle and affectionate. There was rarely any dominance when they kissed, most of the time they were chaste and innocent. Zexion always touched Demyx like he was the most precious antique in the world; like he was glass which might shatter if handled improperly. It made Demyx feel honestly beautiful and treasured.

Without words they stripped one another till they were butt naked, their nipples peaked from the cool air, their erections jutting from their bodies. Getting on their knees in front of one another, they explored the expanse of skin that was so often hidden. They both had an enviable milky white complexions, neither tan during the winter months. Zexion's eyes were trained on the taunt flesh before him, sharp hipbones and lean dipping stomach. Demyx in turn was palming the flawless skin of Zexion's ass, pushing him forward so they were grinding in a steady rhythm.

Demyx kissed his lover enthusiastically before pulling back to inquire, "Do you know the mechanics behind what we're gonna do?"

Zexion's eyes skidded to a random dark corner of his bedroom, "I'd presume I know enough to be adequate."

Dem groped for his jacket which was still strewn across the bed, retrieving a small plastic bottle from the pocket and holding it aloft with a seductive smile. "You're gonna need to stretch me first."

Zexion glanced at the bed and awkwardly stuttered. "A-actually, Demyx, I-i've been meaning to… to ask you…a favor."

The musician blinked, "Hmmm?"

"For our first time… I'd like to be the receiver."

"…" Demyx's mouth dropped, unsure if he'd heard correctly.

Zexion hid his face behind his hands, he'd never been more flustered in his entire life. He thought he might have been unclear so he corrected, "Um, I'd like to be the-_the-_"

He couldn't say the word bottom.

Dem quirked his head thoughtfully, glanced at the lube in his hands, then at his boyfriend. "Are you… Sure?"

Zexion nodded weakly, brain trying to refrain from exploding. "I think doing such might be… better."

"Why?" Dem was still dumbfounded.

"… Because you are the only human on this entire planet that I'd allow to do so." Zexion admitted. "Because I love you implicitly, and want to illustrate such by letting you be in control. So you'll be comfortable and know I'd never abuse you for… physical gratification. I wish for you to do so because you are such a phenomenal person, you are so perfect… "

Zexion ducked his chin, "And because by doing so you'd know that you are also…. um, stuck with me. I absolutely refuse to leave you alone ever again, even when you want me to." His words were tense but honest, he sounded embarrassed towards the end of the rant.

Demyx slowly tugged Zexion down so they were laying on their sides atop the bed, he pooled the comforter around them so they were wrapped in warmth. They were both still erect, but Demyx went slowly. The musician wasn't entirely sure how he managed to remain calm with his dick throbbing so adamantly.

Topping Zexion. Holy shit.

That was, like, the most erotic thing he'd ever thought about, even with his creative imagination. He could remember daydreaming about aggressively making love with the man during the first few weeks they'd known each other. When he was semi-not-stalking the bookworm. He would have absolutely never forced him, of course not, he simply thought about it… a lot. Ahem. He wasn't a stalker. It hadn't been creepy. At least Zexion said he hadn't been creepy.

And to think that that fantasy might someday happen… Demyx dipped his head to press a kiss against his lover's complaint mouth. He spread butterfly pecks around Zexion's slate hair, brushing the locks behind his ear and away from his lips. Then he crouched a little with Zexion's pale butt near his penis. He shivered.

Making sure that Zexion was one hundred percent aware of what he was doing, he pushed away the blankets so he could see what he was doing and slowly began fingering the man. The sight of his middle and index disappearing into that tight ass nearly undid him. Zexion didn't find initial intrusion particularly pleasant, he kept stroking his member against his sheets to ignore the occasional jolt of pain. Demyx noticed his shoulders clench, how he would hide his face against the bed, and immediately pulled out to hunch down. His tongue slowly lowered to massage the abused area, fingers smearing lubricant across the crack and over his erection. Zexion's eyes popped open from the unfamiliar sensation, it felt so odd for Dem's tongue to enter him. He wasn't sure if he was more embarrassed or turned on.

Demyx licked his lips, voice husky as he teasingly whispered, "I'd give you a blow job to make this part feel better, but I don't think you'd make it."

Zexion huffed his agreement. "You are correct."

After adding more lubricant across his hand he started scissoring inside Zexion's body, watching his face carefully for any signs of regret or hesitance. He found none. Zexion's hands were trembling, it was odd to feel Demyx inside of him, so intimate. Then Dem twisted his index finger at this blissful angle, pressing against Zexion's sweet spot. He bucked his hips, a loud moan carelessly escaping his mouth.

Demyx nodded to himself, knowing Zexion was ready. He located the condemn next to the half empty lube bottle, about to tear away the packaging with his teeth.

"No," Zexion grunted, snagging the protection and throwing it to the floor. "I want to feel you."

"…"

Zexion twisted to respond, "You once said that you've been tested for STD's thrice a year. I **want** to feel you, Demyx."

And how could any guy say no to that?

Demyx kissed him carefully as he adjusted their bodies. Zexion was spread out on his back, Dem hovering above him until his head was pressed against Zexion's anus. He knew he couldn't say anything, because if he doubted himself right now he would stop. And he wanted this and Zexion wanted this… and dear god the man's legs were splayed around his hips and his feet were dangling in the air and his face was so flushed and his lips were bruised…

Demyx pushed, gasping sharply as his head entered. Zexion clenched at the intrusion, hissing.

Dem was pumping Zexion's erection, his palm slippery with lube. No, Dem thought desperately as he buried himself to the hilt. This felt too good. He wouldn't last. Oh, god that silky heat all around him was too wonderful; he wasn't going to last.

"Ah," Zexion panted, "Demyx!"

Demyx was thrusting with careful intensity, sweat making his chest glisten. His fingers were digging into Zexion's thighs with bruising force, his pace faster and faster. He shifted the angle to hit Zexion's prostate with a brutal repetition. He soon felt his lover clench around him, Zexion's body going rigid. The normally passive face was open like a book for his lover to read, his passion so tangible. And with his member being squeezed so tight… Demyx let out a keening whine.

Demyx collapsed atop him, resting his weight on his elbows to pull out just as he came. He released over Zexion's stomach, face buried in his shoulder. Zexion's arms circled around Dem's bare back, fingers stroking sweaty skin.

Zexion's mind was blissfuly blank moments later, his whole body burned out from the shocking pleasure he'd never known existed.

XXX

When Zexion woke up, fabric was blocking his vision. He could smell coffee brewing, the scent making his stomach grumble. His hips felt achy, but he didn't regret the previous night. At all. Whatsoever. Not in a million years. He stumbled to his feet, enjoying the sound of his toes pitter-pattering on the wooden floor in his bedroom.

After locating a clean set of shorts he found Demyx in the kitchen. Dem was pouring creamer into two mugs of steaming caffeine. He was only wearing his boxers, and when he noticed Zexion he smiled. And it was the smile Zexion adored the most, because it was his sincerely happy careless grin. The expression that made Zexion fall in love with him all over again.

Zexion pecked a kiss on his cheek before heading around to the bathroom. He quickly relieved himself, brushed his teeth and washed his face.

The world outside was pure white. Snow covered everything, feet deep in some places. The sky was clear blue, the endless clarity which people normally appreciated on a sunny summer day, but rarely cared about in December.

The couple had a quiet breakfast in the kitchen before huddling on the couch. Zexion dragged his comforter in and practically tripped atop Dem, the musician bracing his fall before cuddling close. Their skin became plastered to one another as they adjusted so they could drink their coffee and effortlessly kiss whenever they pleased.

They spent the entire afternoon talking. Everything that needed to be said. Demyx explained from his point of view what had happened growing up, many details Axel hadn't included. It was hard to hear about, but talking seemed to help Demyx. He was a social creature after all, and Zexion knew to be more worried when Demyx was silent rather then chatty.

Then Zexion revealed his own experiences in high school, despite how mundane those memories appeared in his mind. How he was silent and unsociable growing up, and how he'd been a loner most of his life. His relationship with his parents wasn't the best and he'd always felt isolated from others. Until he met Demyx, of course, who could listen to the boring details and seem to interested.

Not once during the afternoon did either cry, which both found an accomplishment considering the circumstances and much of the subject matter. Demyx was able to speak openly and clearly, sometimes more articulate than Zexion could've ever imitated. And Zexion revealed how scared he'd been when Axel told him about his father. He couldn't understand how Demyx was able to hide such abuse and be so cheerful, how he would have never guessed such a horrible thing occurred.

As the sun went down past the building across the street, they took turns asking random questions, sometimes laughing at how silly the answer were.

They made love on the couch twice, not going all the way because Zexion was sore. Rather they pleasured each other relentlessly, learning where sensitive spots were located and how to drive one another crazy. They were both away from their phones and uncaring if anyone wanted to contact them. This afternoon was for them. It was for Zexion to affirm Demyx truly belonged to him and for Demyx to be relieved that Zexion loved him unconditionally. They began speaking in a giddy happy way, almost sickeningly affectionate in an over-the-top cutesy manner.

That snowed in day, they finally let go of the past. They reveled in the present. They'd managed to find each other, and they both had amazing friends. There was a lot of bitter pain in the world but they would continue to move forward. As long as they could do so hand-in-hand, they'd manage. They'd always bounce back.

Marluxia texted Zexion that day but he didn't see it until hours later. The message read,_ "Dont go 2 Cog 2day. And sry. I wont tell any1. U can trust me."_

It never ceased to amaze Zexion how the owner of a bookstore could have such horrid grammar, even in a text message. Or how Demyx had blatantly assumed Marly was his best friend.

That night, they idly made spaghetti for dinner.

While washing dishes, Zexion randomly asked Demyx to move in with him. After all, he reasoned, Dem's main building on campus was only three blocks away, and it would help his financial burdens after all. His lease was up come January, since he did a month-by-month gig at his current loft.

Demyx shoved him against the kitchen wall gleefully, hugging the man as tight as he could. Zexion tried to hug back however his hands were covered in suds.

Why yes, Demyx added. After all, it was only logical to conclude that the more they were around one another, the better they felt. Because Zexion seemed so pouty whenever Demyx couldn't visit him, and Dem just couldn't stand the thought that he was abandoning his soulmate.

The suds in the sink expanded over as they made out, Zexion laughing openly. Whenever Demyx was happy, the normally stoic man couldn't help reciprocating that feeling. He tried to remember the days which he was silent, and simply couldn't. Not with this brilliant musician in his world, not with this man who made him feel complete.

Soulmate. That was cliche, yet Zexion was pleased that he'd managed to find a person who he could attribute such a sentiment with.

After dinner they bundled up to build a snowman in the front yard. They froze their asses off, giggled and swapped banter about the recent election happening in the country. They chatted about religion and politics, neither offended when their opinions didn't match up. They wore themselves out quickly, each a little tired since they'd spent so much time…. exercising in many forms.

"We can always bounce back." Demyx murmured as they crawled into bed, both freshly showered.

"Pardon?" Zexion shifted, fingers scraping across Dem's belly.

Dem blinked, his nose against Zexion's arm, "Oh, haha. I was just thinking. With everything that has happened… We are the types of people who will always bounce back. It's good to live life with hesitant optimism."

Zexion sighed, scooting forward to feel their bare skin.

It was going to be Christmas soon, he thought absently; What should I give Demyx as a gift?


	15. The Perfect Situation

The Cogitare Bookstore

By DXM JUNKIE

Another long and unnecessary A/N: _I really, really hope you ladies (most of my readers are probably female) are enjoying this. I put so many hours into writing, and since I do it for free reviews are like a cash prize. People who review -_seriously_- make my day. _

_It's odd when I think about it. I started writing this story to take my mind off my impending college graduation. Since that time I've nearly died, gotten sued, rocked my socks off with my friends, moved up north, and -hopefully- gotten a job as an editor. It's not that I beg for feedback and affirmation; I guess it's just the urge to have people read what you're writing. _

_Not to toot my own horn, but when I used to obsess over Deathnote I achieved one of my highest reviewed fanfics- with over two hundred thousands hits and a whopping 1,400 plus reviews. But I honestly think I've put much more effort into my most recent endeavors. I've noticed that it's so hard to get people to review in the KH community! Or even read the works! I suppose that has to do with how massive the FF archive is, and how many crappy stories you have to sift through to find the one gem. Anyway, I digress. _

_The next chapter will the epilogue. _

Chapter Fifteen: The Perfect Situation

Moving in the dead of winter was not the brightest idea they'd ever had. It had been a spontaneous lovey-dovey decision, neither really understanding the consequences. And there were_ consequences_. Chaffed skin. Frost-bitten fingertips. Mind-numbing muscle aches.

Winter was officially Zexion's least favorite season.

A powerful snowstorm had recently left a layer of ice an inch thick on the sidewalks and stairs leading up to his apartment complex. The white powder was up to their knees.

Living on the third floor was such a bother. Hauling awkward furniture around halls was a talent.

Demyx didn't have much stuff in his loft per say. It was more that the items he owned were heavy and bulky, they took up a lot of space. Like expensive brand-name drums. Zexion hated that drum set with a passion. A person wouldn't realize how heavy some of the parts where, he figured. Since after all they weren't lifting them up stairs and having their sharp metal whatever-it-was-called jab the inside of his arms.

Plus now they still needed to sort through the appliances they possessed two of. Like the toaster, pots, pans ect. Most of the time they ended up tossing Dem's. Zexion had been making enough money to properly furnish his house for several years. Dem was still in college and frequently shopped at the dollar store. Even before they sorted away half of their collective property the dumpster outside was over-flowingly full.

It was after Christmas but before the New Year. They relatively new couple spent a quiet holiday with one another. They each purchased a lot on gifts for one another since it was their first Christmas together, and they made love until falling asleep. Roxas and Axel came over the next day to also exchange presents.

Three days after Christmas Dem told his landlord he would be moving in January. The landlord, a little miffed at the sudden decision, responded that he needed a couple days to clean the place before the next tenant arrived. So the musician was required to have all his crap out two days before the first. Which was all kinds of horrible because this conversation occurred one day before said deadline. Demyx cancelled a live gig that night to start boxing his stuff.

They recruited Axel, Roxas, Marluxia and surprisingly Axel's brother to help. Reno was in town again and Axel pretty much dragged him along since that way they had three cars instead of two. Plus, any inconvenience to Reno was a triumph to Axel.

Reno found a quick kinship with Marluxia. Instead of truly working like the others, the shocking pair idled around to banter about their friends. Many a dirty secret was subsequently revealed. Much cringing ensued.

But Reno's car was a four-wheel drive SUV. They sincerely needed his help.

Demyx was hesitantly grateful because he inwardly thought they could tone down the commentary. Dem was a musician after all, and hung out in plenty of bars. Yet Reno managed to be so crude even he was affronted. The comments were so stupid more often then not, obviously spoken for the yuck factor. So Marly and Reno wasn't actually too shocking after all, once he thought about it.

Roxas clearly wasn't having too much fun and Zexion found his friends had been honest about Reno. Axel got downright feral around his brother. The outspoken man would constantly touch, grope, fondle, and otherwise attempt to woo Roxas into the bedroom or nearest horizontal surface. It was rather sickening, Roxas couldn't stand in his vicinity without being assaulted. Reno seemed to assume he was being clever.

Dem whispered to the bookworm conspiratorially how Axel secretly liked when Reno got all creepy on Rox. He said that when Roxas would inevitably cling behind Ax for protection, the redhead felt manly.

Zexion might have complained about Reno, however he was the one to beg Roxas and Axel to find someone with another car to assist. He didn't own one and he briefly considered renting a vehicle.

Marluxia offered to help. Surprising enough, since he normally was nowhere to be found when loading heavy objects was involved. Things were still rather cold between himself and Zexion, but they weren't angry anymore. Zexion took his offer as a peace treaty.

Dem, Axel and Reno were off getting some groceries and mass quantities of beer and/or hard liquor. They all planned to sit around and chat since the next day was New Years Eve. They'd managed to empty and clean an apartment despite numerous difficulties. Partying was imminent. Celebration of the new year, reaffirmation with being alive. So many excuses. Dem and Axel simply wanted to get wasted.

Marly, Roxas and Zexion were lounging at the kitchen table. The assembled group opted out of leaving since they were each too tired (or in Marly's case too lazy).

Roxas cradled his head in his arms, his cheek against the table top. Marly was flipping through ancient books strewn around Zexion's table, most of which he'd stolen from the store. The slate-haired man had had to remove two expansive oak shelves to fit Dem's couch in his small living room. Hundreds of books, unopened boxes and plastic bags of stuff made his house look like a hoarder home. Bits of musician instruments peaked out from the pile.

Zexion glared at how untidy his place was. He wasn't OCD or anything, but he didn't like it when his place was unsanitary. The floors were wet and covered with salt from their constant coming and going. The salt was from when they'd tried to make the sidewalks less slippery. Roxas toppled three times in the early morning before Dem ran to the gas station, knowing they wouldn't survive.

"Today felt like an eternity." Zexion murmured, voice weary.

Marluxia glanced up, "You have really gathered an impeccable library, Zexion. I'm impressed."

A slate eyebrow quirked, Zexion deadpanning. "Oh?"

Marly grinned, glancing at Roxas. "Hey, Roxy."

Roxas rose his head to glare sullenly. "Don't call me that."

Marly continued as if he hadn't heard. "Want to know a secret? Or dear little Zexion is quite the phantom thief."

Blue eyes rolled, Roxas turning his head away until Marluxia spoke again.

"Half of these books you, keeping in mind that I'm the best boss ever, Zexion didn't pay a cent for. He basically stole them from my store."

Roxas darted up, turning to his friend. He was frowning with envy. "You're so lucky!"

Roxas, being a lover of the written word also, knew that Zexion's assortment of tomes were mostly first editions. Weathered hardcovers with beautiful spines, their edges frayed from years of being treasured.

Zexion cracked a smile, "I'm simply knowledgeable about my library."

His white teeth were visible as he grinned openly with pride, eyes darting around the table. He'd worked hard on finding the best of the best.

Roxas stared, surprised by the expression which so rarely crossed his face.

Zexion paused for a moment, then deflated. "Roxas?"

"Hmm?"

"Axel told you about Dem's past, didn't he." It wasn't a question.

Marluxia and Roxas blanched simultaneously. The spurted out in unison, "What?"

Roxas glanced away, sharply nodding once.

"I also informed Marluxia." Zexion admitted.

Marly and Rox were reeling; merely thinking of that… made their hearts ache. Being raped a child, let alone by your father. That was something you heard on TV, not a reality for a close friend.

Roxas absolutely adored Demyx, not that he'd ever say such aloud. He'd defend that guy till the _end_. The musician was the most cheerful, selfless and talented man he'd ever met. He'd stuck by Axel's side through the ages, lived through so much pain. But he was still bouncing around, striving to make a path for himself.

As a matter of fact- even before Roxas met Axel he'd always been strangely particular about certain things which he considered mandatory. For example, when he dated someone. If he didn't like that person's friends, or thought those people were idiots, he'd shortly after break up with them. Because who you surround yourself with tells you innumerable things about your character. What your friends talk about is what you talk about. If his lover's friends were mean, dumb and mentally absent, well… the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

After Axel and himself had initially became buddies, when he'd stopped being such an ass-hat to the redhead, he met Dem at a bar to attend one of his live shows. Demyx was openly animated, was always optimistic. He was a wonderful singer, enthusiastic and glowing on stage.

Roxas heard Demyx speak badly of another person all of five times. And those had been primarily about Marly. The dude literally had something good to say about anything. He could ramble for hours about how beautiful the ocean was, how perfect his major was or how utterly blissful he'd became with Zexion. Rox's sympathy also went out to Zexion, since if their rolls were reversed… and Axel had been the one… he couldn't imagine. Didn't want to.

Marluxia was also oddly fond of Dem. It was hard not to be. The kid had literally given him some of the most entertaining stuff to watch in his recent memory. The drama, Zexion changing and opening up, embarrassing his friends- he was grateful. Demyx burst on the scene and gave Zexion something to be passionate about. Not that Zex'd been miserable before they met; he was just… bland. And apathetic.

The pink-haired man knew that Zexion must trust him implicitly to tell him about Dem's past, even if he was mad at himself for doing so. And the ironic thing was, as shitty as the truth became, without Demyx… Zexion would have never in a million years shared something so personal. He was never one to complain, let alone bring voice to the things that brought him down.

Zexion smiled absently, hand brushing over a book.

"Demyx figured it out before I could apologize. He always knows."

Two sets of unreadable eyes were trained on Zexion's calm face.

"'_Marluxia is the one exception_.'"

Marly frowned, "Pardon?"

Zexion scoffed playfully, "Some drivel how you're supposed to be my best friend."

"Still…" Blond spikes drooped as he brought a fingers to twine painfully on his head, "I can't believe what he went through."

Zexion's eyes glanced to Roxas, "Well… I'm incredibly grateful that Axel and Ariel were around, at least. Demyx wasn't alone in that place. Axel is a loyal friend. I wish I had known Ariel."

Roxas scowled, crossing his arms. "That town made me sick."

"When Zexion went to some grave on holiday?" Marluxia questioned.

"You can't fathom that place." Zexion spat. "Axel's parents alone could curdle milk."

Zexion sighed again, "But that's not what I wanted to say."

"…" He brought his hand to palm his cheek. "I apologize for being nasty, Marluxia. Thank you for helping us today. And Roxas- just…" He didn't know how to verbalize what he was feeling.

"I'm very stoked with how life is going…"

Roxas burst out laughing, peeling over. Marluxia followed suit, cheeks turning red. Zexion stared blankly.

"Oh my GOD-" Roxas cried, "Zexion just said the word 'stoked'!"

Marly nodded, "I know, I wish I could've recorded that!"

Zexion carelessly started laughing alongside them, the group companionably amused.

If he could verbalize it though, without using slang that he'd learned from Demyx, he would say that he was blessed. Not in a religious way, jut in a lucky way. There was nothing more that he wanted in this world, except to be around his lover and friends. To experience things with them and share their lives and laugh and cry and being idiotic. He wanted them to get stupidly drunk and complain about hangovers, he wanted to support them because they'd always supported him. If only his mouth could move to say how much he loved them. How perfect everything was.

Marly and Roxas began debating nonsense, Zexion wasn't listening.

He was watching the clock by the front door, wondering when the others would get back. Perhaps he should take out his camera. Now that he was creating his home with his lover, he ought to buy some picture frames and record these memories.


	16. Our Enviable Situation

The Cogitare Bookstore

By DXM JUNKIE

**Super Long and Final A/N: ** _I haven't really had the energy to work on fanfiction wholeheartedly in recent weeks. I apologize for the delay, but I felt implored to wait until I was in a good mood. Since, after all, I fucking love my story and don't give a crap if that sounds arrogant. _

_I want to convey my endless thanks and gratitude to any lovely soul that spent hours reading this unpaid plot. I adore those who admitted to crying because of Axel's suicide attempt, Demyx's past and Zexion's reaction. Each and every review, favorite and watch alert spurred me towards an adamant effort- I want to end this perfectly so each and every reader steps away with a feeling of content. I don't want the stuff I create to be an -AHEM- porn-without-a-plot-fanwhore-OOC-fic where the characters get together because why the fuck _not._ Cogitare seriously only started as a fluffy diversion, a few chapters at best. I never intended to write all that dark stuff until I realized I was enjoying myself so much so that I thought, "Might as well."_

_The entire reason I write at all is to make someone so enthralled with my plot that they laugh aloud with amusement and later weep or become overly-emotional from empathy. To make a story truly balanced one merely requires an endless good sense of humor, a diverse vocabulary and a heavy dose of angst. If I enjoy writing this and you enjoy reading it, everybody wins. Oh, and that reminds me. _

**Hey you. **_With the face. Know what you should do? Read Cogitare all over again, now that it's done and the uninterrupted character development is as it was meant to be. Kinda like when you get obsessed with a series that hasn't ended yet, read each novel one by one with years between them, and then when it's all over you snag the box-set. When you reread each part simultaneously you end up getting so much more out of it the second time around. _

Ahem._ Just a suggestion. _

**The Final Chapter: **Our Enviable Situation

Zexion made a extra-large pizza. When the other half of the group returned their cheeks were flushed from the biting wind. The first pie lasted all of five minutes between six people. Zexion wound up cooking a second. They were famished and could clearly polish off any food placed in front of them. Moving turned out to be a grueling workout. Thankfully Zexion was pleased with his current apartment and didn't feel the urge to relocate; he didn't want to do _that_ any time soon. Muscles he hadn't known he possessed were aching with protest.

Demyx was faring a lot better. His body was toned and healthy. Live shows required him to lift amps and other miscellaneous equipment. His instrument Loki was heavy to hold aloft and Demyx reveled in prancing about while he sang, earning the man a killer six-pack. Zexion randomly thought he ought to get a gym membership of some sort. The majority of physical exertion he ever accomplished was organizing books upon a shelf. Zexion wasn't the sort to care about his appearance or wardrobe. In fact, he'd actively avoided giving a damn about that since he considered it shallow and self-serving. However, now he wanted to be desirable to Demyx. And nothing was less sexy than getting tired mid-coitus because he was out of shape.

Demyx cleared away cardboard boxes to make room while the bookworm checked the pizza to make sure it didn't burn. The group meandered to lounge on a set of couches, munching companionably with the radio playing in the background. Axel handed out beer and they guzzled the alcohol greedily. Even Zexion was starting to enjoy certain brands of beer.

How strange, the slate-haired man considered as he took a sip from the bottle. In the last year he'd imbibed his first beer and inhaled an illegal drug. He'd lost his virginity, too. Some might view Demyx as a bad influence, he mused. But Zexion couldn't feel that way as he discretely scanned the expressive face of his boyfriend. Demyx enjoyed his life. He wasn't an alcoholic or a drug addict, far from it. He might partake in activities others frowned upon, but he was intelligent, determined and headstrong. He was a man that wholeheartedly sprinted full throttle towards anything. Conservatives might scowl at the sodomy, or their hedonism. Zexion was positive those people hadn't really truly_ lived_. In every sense of the word. He was certain they never knew how much more he received from the act of drinking a beer while bantering with his buddies in his living room. And when he also considered the fact that most people felt homosexuality was sinful, or an abomination… Zexion wanted nothing more than to childishly stick his tongue out, aim his middle finger aloft, and pull Demyx closer. Because love was love. Loving Demyx wasn't something he chose, it wasn't something he'd even planned.

The group of friends pleased themselves with swapping stories until after a few drinks they were ready to pass the hell out. Roxas and Axel collapsed on the full-sized sofa with Dem's extra comforter. Reno claimed the spare room and twin-sized bed, Marly creating a blanket-utopia on the floor next to him so they could whisper cynically to one another. It wasn't even midnight when Zexion dozed off. Aside from Demyx, he'd never had other people staying the night in his apartment. Several months prior that would've made him very uncomfortable and worried. But he could care less with Dem snuggled next to him and mumbling goodnight. Reno and Marluxia were the last pair to fall asleep. They'd both taken an immediate liking to one another, and were anxious to spew vicious gossip.

"So you've know that spunky musician for how long?" Marluxia inquired, rolling on his front so he could rest his weight on the pillow and glance towards the bed. From that angle he could barely see out the window, it was snowing again.

"Hmmm…" Reno murmured through a yawn, fingers running through his long ponytail. "Pretty much my whole life. I think Axel started hanging with Demyx when he was like twelve? Thirteen? Something like that. Axel, Ariel and Dem used to be inseparable. Three peas in a pod. Oh, Ariel being my sister who died."

"I've heard about her. Zexion visited her grave." Marly paused for a beat, bringing his hand to his mouth and wondering if he'd said too much. He decided to change the subject.

"What do you think of Zexion?" Marluxia queried, honestly curious about the outsiders opinion.

Reno chuckled capricously, still feeling a little drunk. "He's an overly-intellectual square peg in the proverbial round hole. Said hole to which I'm referring, of course, belongs to a certain Dem-""

"I think Zexion is awesome." Marluxia scoffed, curtly cutting Reno off. "He's his own person. Being overly-intellectual or a bookwork isn't something to criticize. People who read a lot tend to score better on IQ tests. Those who spend more time with books instead of television are a minuscule demographic, but that doesn't mean they're bad. Zexion know's what he's talking about when he forms an opinion, and he's accumulated this amazing personal library-"

Marluxia bit his own tongue. He couldn't believe how inexplicably defensive he'd sounded! Reno glanced down at him curiously, startled by the forceful declaration.

Reno held one hand up, "Dude, I wasn't trying to be mean. I think Demyx is lucky to have found Zexion, and vice versa."

Marluxia rolled his eyes in exasperation. "You don't have to lie about it, Ginger. We both know you're an ass."

Reno cheekily smirked his agreement.

"Anyway." Marluxia continued, "Since I'm on a roll with these questions. Why do you hang all over Roxas?"

In the dim light Marluxia could barely see Reno's lips curl into a devious cheshire grin.

"Hah!" Reno faked a pout. "Oh, dear. What to say? Truthfully? It may sound melodramatic."

"Go on."

Reno leaned back on the pillow, heaving a great sigh. "I do it because, well… Hmmmm."

Marluxia was impatient from how long it took the normally self-assured guy to respond. Reno seemed to be debating something in his mind and Marluxia just wanted the straight answer.

"I guess… It's just nice to see Axel passionate about _something_." Reno hedged. "After Ariel died, he go so… Let's just say it was fuckin' horrible. At the time I didn't even know about Roxas or them dating. My bro never brought anyone home for the holidays. Demyx used to be his only friend and Ax never talked about that sorta shit with me."

Reno whistled, "Hoo~ Not that I blame 'im, o'course. We aren't very close siblings. Same gene pool but totally different, ya' kno? And our parents aren't really warm and affectionate and cuddly."

"How did you meet Roxas?" Marluxia prompted.

"I met Roxas when I came here on a random visit. I was checking up on that idiot because even though our frigid mother acts like a bitch, she does still care about him to a certain extent. Not that she'll ever admit it, and not that Ax even knows. So, yeah, when I came here and shit Axel was trying to hide my existence from Roxas and vice versa. I found out about 'im from Dem's big mouth, not that they were dating, but that they were close. I thought something was fishy and I turned the tables so we'd eventually run into each other."

Reno frowned for a moment. "And, dude, was I thrown by _that_. I nearly died from shock when Axel said they were dating. I'd never though Ax was queer, and they acted so fuckin' _weird_. You would seriously never be able to tell they even remotely liked each other. In a million years."

Marly nodded pointlessly.

"The last time I'd seen Ax before that was at Ariel's funeral." Reno's voice grew distant, a tad melancholy. "He looked empty through the core that day. It's something I wish I could fuckin' forget. Ariel was truly the most wonderful sort of girl. Selfless, kind…."

He paused before adding, "I'm sure you've already noticed that I don't give two shits about anyone else besides myself. But I loved Ariel. We all did. It was hard not to. I'm sure to this day, me an' Ax are still debating which of us most deserved to die instead of her."

Reno huffed, remembering himself, "Fuckin' tangent. So, then I came here and when I saw Axel with that kid and it was like nothing had ever happened. I thought for sure he'd still be depressed after Ariel's death and his stupid fuckin' psychotic episode. The change in him was pretty fuckin' dramatic, lemme tell yah. He acted so obnoxiously happy when he was around that blond, even if the kid spent the majority of the time cussin' him out."

Reno sighed again, "So, if I'm being all metaphorical and shit; I tease Roxas because at least Axel's alive to see it."

Reno pulled the blankets around him, turning over and attempting a nonchalant tone. "Anyway, enough chatting dude. I'm beat. Let's pass out."

Marluxia mulled what Reno said for a good hour before finally sleeping himself. He wasn't sure why the conversation made him feel so much better despite the fact he didn't understand what Reno was referring to with his final comment. Why wouldn't Axel be alive to see it?

The next morning was New Year's Eve. They had two full days of blissful freedom that they intended to share companionably. Since their internal clocks were normally set for early hours, they awoke before ten and after showering congregated in the cramped dining room. Like a group of teenagers after a slumber party they playfully bitched and whined during a makeshift eggs and toast breakfast. Poorly made, yet satisfying. Axel snagged the Champaign he'd purchased from the fridge and some left-over orange juice. Zexion watched him mix the drink with expert ease, just the same as the first night he'd gone to that party. Axel was rarely deemed graceful, but fixing drinks was his pride and as he added a pinch of sugar he cooed, "This is the _perfect _Mumosa!"

It was an appetizing beverage, Zexion found, and one of his new favorites. Marluxia and Reno started drinking Old Fashion brandy, while Roxas and Demyx favored beer. Which was fine said Axel, winking at Zexion and informing him that meant more for them to share.

The day past in a spectacular and surreal blur, each hour ticking down to the new year. They swapped mindlessly stories, commented about obvious things, and most importantly the group enjoyed the casual gathering. Just before twilight they found Demyx's camera and began snapping hundreds of photos. They then would pause to scarf down enough food so they could start drinking again and take even more photos. Zexion felt like he was a giddy child again, innocent and alive. He was elating in the activities he used to frown upon. When he clicked through the pictures on Dem's tiny camera screen, he almost didn't recognize himself anymore. He was smiling and his cheeks were bright and he was laughing and… he was truly utterly happy. Life pre-Demyx was a monotonous blur of the mundane. It wasn't an unhappy or depressing time, it was simply dull and lifeless. After Demyx was this new and exciting world of music and live shows and interesting people who had random quirks. Zexion was no longer a loner working in a bookstore, idly passing the time.

At eleven, after the first twelve-pack of beer had been consumed, Marluxia and Reno left with enthusiastic waves for the bar scene a couple blocks away. The remaining group was surprisingly unhappy about the departure. During the latter half of the day, Reno ceased directing lewd comments at Roxas. Subsequently, he was finally acting like an okay guy. Demyx pulled out his giant box television and plugged it in so they could watch the ball drop on Times Square. Roxas and Axel were pooled on one side of the couch, cuddling despite the fact it was out of character. Demyx and Zexion became tangled on the floor below them, unable and uncaring to watch Rox and Ax kiss occasionally and make fun of people they saw on the television.

The room was quieter without Marluxia and Reno's loud voices, they were each buzzed and feeling too lazy to accomplish anything but watching the minutes count down. Ten, nine...

XX

In the early morning during the first day of the brand new year Demyx was sleeping soundly, exhausted from the physical exertion and content beyond belief.

He dreamt of Ariel. And for the first time in ages, it wasn't a sad dream. They were sitting below the weeping willow on their school grounds, eating a box-lunch she'd made. She'd always been a good cook, Demyx mused. She was humming as her vibrant eyes traced the patterns of lights dancing across her bare legs.

Demyx somehow knew that she was dead and everything had changed. He felt like if he mentioned that fact the whole memory, moment, or whatever-the-hell-it-was would break, and he would lose her. He desperately wished for her to stay.

Ariel turned towards him in her inimitably fluid manner, inquiring with a lilting voice, "Penny for your thoughts?"

Demyx pooled his ams around his knees and ducked his chin. "Ariel…"

He didn't know how he could vocalize this. Demyx had never excelled at precisely wording whatever he happened to be feeling. Zexion was infinitely better than him with eloquently explaining things. His voice was thick as tar, cementing at the bottom of his throat.

Between everything he hadn't told her before and everything wanted to tell her now; he faltered simply because he'd never gotten this chance to have proper closure on that chapter of his life. Back in the day Ariel had been one of the only people loved him unconditionally. Spastic quirks, unconventional sexuality, the works. Without Ariel and Axel, back in a miserable memory of rape and confinement… without_ them_… He couldn't fathom what sort of person he might've turned out to be. He probably would've gone mad.

"I'm happy that you are with a man like Zexion." Ariel cooed casually, effectively breaking his reverie. "I'm glad you were able to find such a wonderful thing. You're so cute when you fall in love. I adore that harmless stalker side of you."

Aqua eyes darted to her face, mouth dropping in perfect surprise. Ariel leaned against the trunk of the great tree, her fingers toying absently with thick blades of grass. They peered at one another. It was as if they were determined to re-memorize the features that they used to know like the back of their hand. That brilliance had sadly been forgotten ages ago.

"My Dearie Dem," Her voice cracked as it formed his affectionate nickname. Ariel sentimentally purred as a breathless declaration, "How I've missed you."

An emotion Demyx couldn't recognize flashed across her features so swiftly he thought he might have imagined it. She sighed slowly then, her graceful frame appearing so fragile to Demyx in that moment.

Her pink lips curled into a cautious smile. "I wanted to tell you something, so you'll feel better and hold no remorse from my passing. We do exist on after death, Dearie Dem, in a matter of speaking. For as long as we choose to. I'm positive Zexion will enjoy this little secret!

"It's most totally against the rules to tell you this. But you know _me_." She laughed at her own joke, the sound blissfully nostalgic. "Rules are made to be questioned. Most of that hogwash isn't credible at all, that's what I've always said!"

Ariel calmed to cup her mouth conspiratorially and softly inform him, "There is a grand library, the most elaborate of them all. It contains a replica of every parchment, book, scroll and tablet _ever_ made by a human. Even the lost histories from Alexandria and authentic unedited religious tomes of antiquity can be studied by anyone at our world of learning."

"Are you talking about heaven?" Demyx whispered just as quietly.

"Not heaven, per say, that's such a loaded word. Hell, too. Both of those insightful concepts were fashioned by men scared of their mortality. Rather, hmm. It's like a super-specific utopia evolved for each particular person who, well… I really wouldn't go so far to say _deserve _it, based on how they lived. Hmm. Let's just say that your biological parents won't be getting any favors later on, they are totally-"

Ariel cut herself off and shook her head firmly in negation. "I've revealed too much, already! Seriously, sometimes I'm such a space cadet! I always… What was I trying to say…?"

Demyx couldn't help but laugh. His heart swelled with the love he'd stupidly taken for granted while she was around. He'd totally forgotten how she'd rambled and chatted. She'd always been able to find the humor in any situation, she'd been annoyingly optimistic and that side of her used to infuriate Axel.

Ariel pouted dramatically, "So, ahem. I simply wanted to tell you that such a library exists. I give you permission to pass this information along to that wonderful boyfriend of yours as my gesture of gratitude."

Demyx blinked, confused.

"I'm thanking him for the lovely book he left on my grave."

Demyx sucked in a breath of air sharply, awed. "You saw... that day?"

"…" Ariel waved her slender hand dismissively. Demyx stilled, wondering if she was going to say something more. The sky darkened as puffy clouds shaded the sun. The chirp of cicadas rang loud, distinct and clear.

"Demyx, I've always wanted to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for saving Axel during_ that time_." Ariel flinched slightly, clenching her fist and hurriedly adding, "I've also wanted to tell you how proud I am of the person you've become."

"I didn't save him." Demyx insisted, reaching forward to cup his hand over her knee. Her skin was soft and warm to the touch.

"Roxas is the main reason Axel's happy," Demyx assured her. "They take good care of each other. I know for a fact that both Roxas and Zexion would've adored you."

Long red hair tossed in the wind, the color bright against the green, blue, and brown surroundings. Ariel pushed the tresses away from her mouth. For the second time her face became a blank canvas. Then, she flopped over onto her side. Her arms wrapped across Demyx's lap, hair splaying and tangled and curled.

He leaned and encircled his body against hers, hugging her fiercely, throat tight.

"Don't regret what has happened, Dearie Dem." Ariel whispered, petting his Mohawk like she used to. "We all love you so very much. Protect both of my brothers, and Roxas… and cherish Zexion. Keep them near you. Promise them that you will never leave, and keep your promise."

Demyx turned his face and he saw her beautiful smile one last time.

Her voice dreamily insisted, over and over,_ "The future has not been determined yet, Demyx, which is rather inevitable."_

XX

Demyx abruptly awoke, tears burning his eyes, body on fire. He blinked, wondering if that had truly been a dream and something he'd imagined in his own head. He rolled towards Zexion's bare chest under the comforter, quietly sniffling to himself and trying to reign in his emotions.

Ariel. It had been too vivid. Demyx shivered and snuggled closer to pale skin, a shock of tension making his fingers tingle against the soft fabric. Demyx closed his eyes. Zexion smelled like the library and old books, he thought serenely, just as he usually did. The library…

Demyx jolted abruptly, firmly shaking Zexion so he could tell him what Ariel said before he forgot. Something inside of him knew those words would be burned in his mind forever and he could reasonably tell Zexion at a later time, but he didn't want to take that chance.

Zexion blearily cracked his eyes open, moaning sleepily. He frowned upon spotting the glint of tears and he perched on his elbows, "Is something the matter?"

The musician laughed at the question, too loud for so early in the morning. Zexion was startled. The bookworm found his arms full of his boyfriend a moment later. Demyx shook his head against his chest and emitted melodious noises of childish pleasure. Zexion scooted up a little to sit on his bum and properly hug his lover. Demyx was still giggling happily.

Demyx pulled back, beaming and blissful. The guy was obviously flustered because he spoke rapidly, "You'll never believe me~! It was so amazing, Ariel came to me in my dream!"

He huffed in a breath of air, trying to calm himself and find the proper string of words to explain his ramblings. Zexion was listening, as always, with what Dem felt must be his full attention.

"It was so real, Zexy." He licked his lips. "I don't think it was a dream at all! We were sitting alone at this place we used to go all the time in high school. Under this weeping willow tree."

The musician scooted forward shamelessly, uncaring if the comforter had fallen away and his bare body became illuminated from the moonlight.

Zexion was trying very hard to listen to what he was saying. He **would** listen. He would not molest that indecently naked body and… god-dammit Demyx had the most beautiful eyes. No! Zexion berated himself. He would listen and not think about how glorious that expression on Dem's face was. But, it was just so damn adorable. Demyx was currently making him swoon and fall in love with him all over again and oh-fucking-hell his beautiful slender _naked body._

"And she had something she wanted to tell you!" Demyx insisted.

Zexion blinked, "Pardon?"

"She said that she wanted to thank you for bringing that book to her grave. She said something about how she was in a place kinda like heaven, but not really. And in that place there is this huge library that you'd love."

Zexion's eyebrow quirked. He wasn't sure what to think. A wave of nostalgia he knew was not his own washed over him.

"Ariel said that there is this library that has everything EVER made by a human. She said that you can read the… um, what's that word? Authenticity? Antique….. Um. Something about that and books." Demyx nodded to himself. Then he returned his exuberant smile towards Zexion, "And she said that she was happy I'd found a love like you."

Demyx sighed, pressing his lips against Zexion's bare clavicle. Zexion silently pushed Demyx back on the bed, pushing soft skin together in a warm intimacy.

"You don't believe me?" Dem simpered.

Zexion chuckled, leaning to press a long set of kisses over his lover's pert mouth.

"I believe you." Zexion affirmed.

Demyx frowned, bouncing his fist lightly against Zexion's shoulder. "Liar!"

Zexion closed his eyes slowly, long lashes brushing against his cheeks. "I think I saw her, too."

The slate haired man huffed. Since it sounded so fanciful he wasn't sure why he bothered vocalizing this, but knew Demyx wouldn't care. "I dreamt there was this redhead girl that sang me a song on the beach, I couldn't understand a word of it. With jagged rocks encasing us, the echo of pounding waves was near. All I could smell was salt."

"_Tha Mo Ghaol Air Aird A' Chuain_.…." Demyx whispered back, the words sounding eloquent on his tongue. "It's an old Irish folk song we learned when we were kids for some festival at our school. It was her absolute favorite. About a girl whose love is lost upon the seas and might never return."

Zexion cupped Dem's face in his hand.

The couple made love after that, slowly, swiftly.

Zexion had long since learned where Demyx was most pleasured, and Demyx could make Zexion cum from a mere blow job. With sweet friction and tender glances, Zexion pushed himself inside Dem for the first time and could barely catch his breath. The sensation was too intense. It was tight and Demyx was keening and his messy sleep-tangled hair bounced and clung in a sweaty disarray. The slap of skin on hips echoed Zexion's frantic panting. They didn't care if they were loud and awoke the others, nothing mattered but them. It was enough to make everything spin into ecstasy. Their fingers twined and Zexion couldn't think of anything else to do but repeat like a manta how much he loved Demyx.

They held each other as the sun slowly rose, casting an abstract shadow across the wall.

Zexion, slightly drunk and still tingling from the post-sex high murmured, "My new year's declaration, Rox was saying how you need to have one. I've been doing so many things I've never done before, like dressing up for Halloween, so why not a declaration?"

Demyx pecked a kiss, giggling and encouraging, "A declaration!"

Zexion lifted his index finger in the air with one hand, and pulled Dem's waist snug against his with the other. Zexion enthusiastically pressed kisses along Dem's face and hair.

"The declaration!" Demyx reminded him.

"This year… I declare…" Zexion smiled to himself, not noticing when Demyx hitched his breath. Zexion was so damn sexy. He knew that he was the only person to have seen this side of that brilliant man.

As Ariel told him, no regrets. Those painful things brought him to this point. The future isn't determined, yet it's rather inevitable. Inevitable because each thing that cause a person to act and how they manage and survive… that's what creates the future.

"I declare that you and I must depart upon on a fancy vacation. New Zealand or Japan or to some music festival, if you'd prefer."

Zexion mumbled against the skin of Dem's neck, "I declare that we must accomplish the following things: We must have sex again in the back room of Cogitare. We need to get Marluxia laid so he won't be such a prick. I'd really not mind if you'd play your sitar for me sometime soon, naked perhaps. That new song you composed is lovely. And you should also eventually meet my parents. They might be shocked, however I'm sure you can charm them easily enough as long as you don't mention any sexual aspect of our relationship."

Zexion huffed, he'd stated his list with a long-winded breath, "And I declare that I will do my best to make you so happy that you'll forget what sadness feels like."

Demyx melted, enchanted by this man he could call his lover.

"Zexion," The musician sighed gleefully, pecking a few butterfly kisses on his boyfriend's clavicle. "I declare that we must not only depart upon a splendid vacation with ourselves, but we should also do a group trip with our friends in the next few months. Maybe summer. After we get all my stuff unpacked we need to break in every single horizontal surface within this apartment. Including the shower. And kitchen table. I declare… I declare that we are going to love each other so much that we can't even imagine life without one another. Forever and ever."

Zexion rolled his eyes playfully, "Well, that last part has already subsequently occured."

Demyx let his eyes flutter shut, he adjusted his body so he could press their foreheads together. "I'm so thankful I met you on that random day at Cogitaref."

"As am I. That feels like an eternity ago." Zexion confirmed.

"No," Demyx protested. "It feels like just yesterday."

"Just yesterday we'd be moving boxes and drum sets. Not swapping awkward small talk like that first encounter during summer."

Demyx's voice was thick as he drowsily mentioned, "We ought to buy Roxas something epic for his birthday since without him and his damn meddling we'd never have met."

"And you were so agitated with him." Zexion whispered. "When is his birthday?"

Dem was already fast asleep. Zexion followed that example, the image of a redheaded girl singing echoed across his mind. This time it wasn't a sad song though, it was one of radiant joy. For the pair of radical opposites, there needed to be no epilogue. Because day to day life was satisfactory enough. The oblivious man who'd been silent became vocal. And the musician who'd been broken was fixed. It was all so damn perfect.

XX

Years later, Roxas was still giving himself a pat on the proverbial back for becoming the matchmaker in that match.

Zexion pushed the door of Cogitare open, the bell above the sign chimed cheerfully. The expansive array of books and the smell of coffee and parchment greeted him in the ancient store. A slew of random shoppers were perusing merchandise. Zexion could tell they were discretely eyeing his lover. Most of the current people around him had obviously arrived to watch Dem's Wednesday afternoon performance. Dem always insisted the shows be free of charge, as such they found a slew of talented amateurs to play at the venue. The live music becoming engrained upon the tacky wallpaper as books in the bookstore.

Demyx's shows, alongside a major reconstruction Axel designed, propelled Cogitare to become legendary.

At first, Dem only wanted to attract more customers. Marly had been hesitant to agree. When Zexion insisted they build a stage, Marly wanted to go cheap. But Demyx persevered with his dream of lights and expensive amps. After purchasing fancy coffee makers the events became notorious. None had banked upon the popularity Dem would achieve, or the subsequent contract labels contacting him. Not that he wanted that anymore. Fame wasn't for him, that was for people who wanted more than they already had. Dem already had what he wanted.

As Zexion strode along, Demyx was perched in the back. His aqua eyes were scanning a huge tome. He was sitting upon the stage they'd build in the same spot they'd first met. Marluxia stood on his left, shamelessly flirting with young college students.

Dem glanced up, smiling absently as his husband swung a set of keys around his index finger.

"I didn't intend to be late." Zexion mentioned with a touch of humor as he reached the stage, grinning down affectionatly.

Dem shook his head, "You've arrived just in time."


End file.
